


Dinosaurs

by Ballycastle_Bat



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bookstore, Barry Allen/Original Male Character (brief flashbacks), Canon is just a suggestion, Closeted Character, Comatose Barry Allen, Coming Out, F/M, First Meetings, Gay Oliver Queen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Minor Linda Park/Wally West, Oliver Queen Being an Asshole, Other: See Story Notes, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Particle Accelerator Explosion (The Flash TV 2014), Recovery, Single Parents, Support
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-26
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2019-07-02 16:58:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 69,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15800766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ballycastle_Bat/pseuds/Ballycastle_Bat
Summary: Oliver mistakes a handsome man in a bookstore as an employee while looking for science books for his son. Said man is too embarrassed to correct him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> [[Warnings: Iris, Barry, and Wally refer to eachother with family terms. Brother, sister, etc.
> 
> Notes: I've been wanting to write an AU one shot where Oliver and Barry have their first meeting in a bookstore while Oliver is looking for books for William, but when I finally sat down to write it, it became this. 
> 
> I mix canons and fucj around when I do really heavy AUs, Barry is supposed to be blonde.
> 
> Please don't upload elsewhere.]]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[Warnings: N/A,   
> AN: N/A]]

The moment Oliver Queen stepped through the doors he was in unfamiliar territory. Shelves of books surrounded him on every wall and he had no idea where to start. He was pretty sure the last book he’d held in his hand in the last decade was his father’s journal.

Eventually, he made his way to the nonfiction section with some difficulty, the place was huge. Not that he’d been inside many other bookstores to compare it to. The first thing he noticed was a man on his knees in front of the small science section.

The man was slender and had a stack of books beside him. He seemed intently focused on his task at hand as well, leaving Oliver to assume he worked there.

 _Thank god._ Oliver thought, relieved. _Someone who works here_. Oliver tapped on the man's shoulder. “Hey, do you know anything about this stuff?” he gestured to the set of shelves taller than them.

The man glanced up and had no real reaction to seeing Oliver's face. This made Oliver feel more relieved if he was being honest. The constant ‘You're Oliver Queen!’s he got from strangers was exhausting at best.

The man gave Oliver a confused expression but nodded once. “Yes, I graduated summa cum laude from Sun City University with a degree in Organic Chemistry and I'm a forensic scientist, I'm not an expert in other areas but I still know quite a bit.” grinned up at Oliver with an openness Oliver wasn't used to. It was genuine. It was human. Something he only saw from his family and Felicity.

“I don't know what half of that means, sorry.” Oliver pressed his lips together. “but can you help me find some books?”

“Science is my job, I know about it, and I can try. What exactly do you need?” he brushed off his hands as they were resting on the floor and picking up dirt from the thin, cheap carpeting.

“Something about plants,” Oliver glanced at the notes he’d taken for himself. “He likes plants … so I need something smart with plants.”

The other man ran a hand across a shelf to his upper left. “Well, this whole shelf is botany.”

“I don't need books on botany I need books on plants,” Oliver argued.

“Botany is the science of plants … you're not a science guy I guess,” he laughed lightly and ran a hand through his hair, it was blond like Oliver’s.

“Not really, no. I'm just a CEO, I know business, not science,” he laughed with him.

“Can I ask what the botany books are for?” the man inquired as he sat back on his heels. “I can help you better if I know what you need.”

“I've just met my son for the first time and he's moving in with me,” Oliver found himself admitting. “I'm setting up his room and he likes plants. I want to make a good impression.”

“How old is he?”

“He’s ten.”

“Is his reading level high for his age?” the man asked Oliver curiously.

“He's in some advanced classes in sixth grade,” Oliver scratched his head. “If that means anything.” he offered lamely, he was way out of his comfort zone and was glad he found someone who knows what he's doing.

“I'll pick out a few and you can decide if any would interest him,” he started to look through the shelf.

Oliver glanced at the man's hand. No ring. However, that didn't mean much as his own hand was bare as well. “Do you have kids?” Oliver decided to take a risk and ask.

“Sort of,” he shrugged.

“Sort of?” Oliver was confused by that answer.

“I've got a niece and nephew from my sister, and a nephew from my brother. That’s enough for me,” he shrugged his shoulders, adding another book to the pile. “They're my life.”

Oliver found the way he said that endearing in a way. “I'm glad I found the one employee who knows what he's talking about.”

The man paused for a second and Oliver noticed he seemed embarrassed and started to fumble but continued to pull out books. He turned to Oliver, showing him the small stack. “any of these should work, the big one is kind of pricey but it's a retired high school textbook, so, yeah...” he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Thanks … uh …” Oliver took the stack easily in one hand them noticed the man didn't have a name tag and then realised he probably didn't work there.

“Barry, Barry Allen.” he smiled and stood with his own pile of books.

“Oliver Queen … you don't work here, do you?” Oliver asked awkwardly.

“Queen … like Queen consolidated? Also, no. I don't work here … I was too embarrassed and excited about the botany to say anything.”

“Yep, that would be me.”

“Cool,” Barry shrugged, still unfazed by Oliver's identity, and Oliver wondered why that was, but decided to take it without complaints-- he preferred it this way.

“Thanks for your help,” Oliver shook Barry’s hand before moving to hold the book stack with both hands.

“So, how long are you in town?” Barry asked casually as they walked into the line, Barry’s arms trembled slightly under the weight of his books.

“I just moved in actually,” he smiled. “Where's the best place to get a cup of coffee?” he asked and after a few seconds of watching Barry tremble he grabbed half of the stack with his free hand.

“That would definitely be Jitters on 74th and Main. It's about a block from the police station if you know where that is,” Barry replied, surprised by Oliver’s strength but not saying anything other than a mumbled ‘thanks’.

“I do, unfortunately,” Oliver laughed. “I spent more time there in my youth than I'd like to admit, old Detective West still gives me the stink eye when I see him in passing.”

Barry snorted.

“What's so funny?” Oliver raised an eyebrow at him.

“Detective West is my dad,” he informed Oliver.

“Detective West is … your dad?” his eyebrows pulled together. "I thought he just had a girl."

“Well, foster father, but he raised me. There's three of us.”

Oliver set his books on the counter, barely registering the teenage retail worker behind it. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a business card. He grabbed a pen off the desk and jotted a number on the back of it. “Thanks for helping me out today, I owe you one and maybe you could show me Jitters,” he smiled.

“Uh-- sure!” he nodded. “I'll call you.”

Oliver handed the clerk a credit card without even listening to the total. He didn't care that much. It wasn't like he didn't have the money, though he hoped it didn't make him look bad in front of Barry. He secretly hoped they could become friends. He seemed like the kind of person who could be useful. Or at least, that's what he told himself but he actualy just wanted to see Barry again.

“What's that?” Iris asked, glancing at the card Barry was turning over in his hands absentmindedly. An infant on her hip, tiny hands knotted into her shirt.

“Oh, I met Oliver Queen, and he owes me a favour.”

“You met Oliver Queen?” Iris asked, her eyes wide.

“Isn't he on your three list?” Eddie asked, coming into view, straightening his tie, he pressed a kiss to his daughter’s forehead.

“Yep, right next to Rick Cosnett and the Green Arrow.”

“He looks kind of like Eddie,” said Barry.

“You have my blessing to go for it,” Eddie joked, kissing Iris’s cheek. “Also, who the heck is Rick Cosnett?”

“Yeah, maybe two children ago,” Iris scoffed and pulled out her phone with one hand and showed Eddie a picture.

“Shut up, you're beautiful,” -- Eddie and Barry spoke the words almost perfectly in sync.

This time Eddie spoke on his own. “This guy looks nothing like me.”

“Are you sure you don't mind watching them?” Iris asked checked again.

Barry placed the card on the table. “Not at all! Go, have fun,” he smiled at them, and something in him felt a bit sad. He was envious of Iris, really. She had a wonderful husband and two beautiful babies. He was happy for her, but it also stirred up the deep longing in his chest. He had been lying when he told Oliver Queen his niece and nephews were enough for him.

Iris pried ten tiny terracotta fingers from her shirt before passing the baby to Barry. “Go to Uncle Barry, Esther,” she said softly, “You guys are going to have so much fun with Barry!”

Barry took the child easily and bounced her very slightly, holding her against his chest so she would feel more secure.

“E.J. is on the floor in the living room with his crayons.”

“Thanks again, Barry,” Eddie chimed in.

“It's really no problem,” and Barry was being honest, he loved spending time with his niece and nephew. Once Iris and Eddie left, Barry headed into the living room. “What are you drawing, buddy? Barry asked.

“The Green Arrow!” the four-year-old grinned and held up a scribbly crayon drawing of a green stick figure.

“Awesome, buddy!” he encouraged. “You did such a good job!” he ruffled up E.J.’s loose curls affectionately. “I'm really proud of you. How about we put it on the fridge?” he suggested.

“Okay!” the boy beamed and followed Barry to the fridge.

Barry set Esther on her feet before lifting E.J. up. “Pick a magnet,” he told the boy.

E.J. picked up a letter magnet in the shape of an E and stick it on the paper that Barry was holding to the fridge.

“Good job buddy! What letter is that?” he asked.

“E!” E.J. grinned, picking up a ‘J’ shaped magnet and placing it on the other corner of the picture. “and J!”

“and what is that?” Barry asked.

“Me!”

Barry kissed his cheek and set him down. “That's right, you're so smart,” he encouraged.

Ester was already making grabby hands at him again, little arms outstretched, tiny hands opening and closing. She didn't say anything. She was very quiet, she vertically could talk. She could babble out a ‘mama’, ‘dada’, or an extremely rare ‘bawr’ for Barry, but she didn't often.

Barry lifted her up easily “Okay, sweetie. You're extra snuggly today,” he laughed a little. His phone started to ring and he pulled it from his pocket. “Hello?”

Caitlin sat at her desk at S.T.A.R. Labs, reading over some charts. “Hey, Barry!” he and Caitlin had met at a S.T.E.M. convention in Central City a few years ago and quickly clicked. “So, I'm technically not supposed to tell you this … but something big is happening, something that will blow your mind!”

“Hit me,” he laughed.

“I just heard Hartley and Wells talking … about a particle accelerator! Not just in theory, but with serious plans.”

“That's decades ahead of anything they're doing at CERN!” Barry exclaimed excitedly. “That's amazing!”

“I know, right? It's so exciting. Oh my god, they just called Ronnie in,” Caitlin said excitedly.

“Oh, Ronnie’s there?” a smirk spread across Barry’s lips. “Are you actually working or are you staring at his biceps?”

“I'll have you know that I'm reading over files right now.”

“Speaking of Ronnie … Did you ask him out yet? Or did you fumble and ask him for the time again? While wearing a watch.”

“That was one time and you're one to talk,” Caitlin accused. “You don't even look at guys!”

“My last few dates didn’t go too well. I've just resigned to be the gay Bachelor uncle,” Barry shrugged. “Unless I settle for Hartley,” he joked, declining to tell her about getting Oliver Queen's phone number.

“Barry, what's ‘gay’?”

Caitlin could hear the small voice from somewhere in the background. “Oh dear, I'll leave you to deal with that,” she said her goodbye and hung up.

“It means I don't want a wife like your daddy has, I want a husband like your mommy has,” he explained with a sigh.

“Okay,” E.J. shrugged his shoulders and went back to colouring.

* * *

Barry had thought and hoped that was the end of it but E.J. brought up the subject again when Barry was making an attempt to get him to go to sleep.

“What happens when you have a husband like mommy?”

“Then you'll have three uncles, instead of two,” Barry smiled, hoping that was the answer the boy was looking for.

“I hope my third uncle likes dinosaurs,” he decided.

“I'll make sure to marry someone who loves dinosaurs,” he laughed a little and tucked the covers in around E.J. “Time to get some sleep.”

“I'm not even tired,” E.J. objected but was nearly falling asleep as he spoke.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[Warnings: Animal abuse (past), homophobia/homophobic attacks mentioned/discussed,  
> AN: N/A]]

At S.T.A.R. Labs the day was trudging along at a snail’s pace. The cortex was surprisingly empty and Cisco was visiting family so it was quiet too. If Caitlin was being honest, as much as she acted annoyed, she missed him popping up with random movie references or just dropping by the cortex to ‘bother’ her.

Something soft landed on her desk. Caitlin glanced up from her paperwork to see Ronnie. A heat began to fill her face, he was looking right at her with a big grin on his face.

“Good morning, Dr. Snow,” he had his arms crossed on the table. He had pulled up a chair but Caitlin was too deep in her work to notice until now.

“Good morning Mr. Raymond,” she seemed surprised, but not unwelcoming.

“I was wondering if it was okay with you, I would fill in for Cisco while he’s gone and annoy you,” he shot her a cheeky grin that nearly stole her breath away. “He asked me as a favour and I would feel rude if I denied him that,” Ronnie had a great way of nudging Caitlin out of her comfort zone. Always in a gentle, casual way. Never applying too much pressure and if she did crack down, he always backed off.

“T-that would be fine,” she tried to fight the heat that she felt rising in her face.

“Perfect,” he smiled and then Wells called his name. “Sorry, Dr. Wells needs his high priced plumber,” he shot her a wink.

“Okay,” she smiled and ducked her head back down into her work. Caitlin had been friends with Ronnie and Cisco for years. She and Ronnie hit it off on her first day and she always considered Cisco’s first impression to be lovely. Much better than her first meeting with Barry, who accidentally knocked her down.

On another side of town, Oliver moved a white, modern style desk into place against the far wall of a large room. When that was done he moved a small table to the middle of the room, adding a few chairs. He took a step back and checked how well it looked with the rest of the room.

He brushed his hands on his jeans in an extremely nervous manner. He left the room and came back with a box full of miscellaneous things. Setting it down on the desk, he pulled out a lamp, setting it down and plugging it into the wall. He quickly added a small closed glass box filled plans. He set it on the side before placing a laptop between the two items.

When that was sorted, he set up the science book between to cactus bookends behind the laptop. He gave one more glance around the room, checking the leaf - green comforter on the bed before grabbing one last thing from the box: a glossy paper tube.

He yanked off the rubber band off and unrolled it, sticking it easily to the wall. It was long and had a bisected flower on it. He sighed and ran a hand over his cropped hair, nearly startling when his phone began ringing, but he didn't. He picked it up and glanced at the caller ID. He frowned, his anxiety picking up slightly before he answered. “Hello? This is Oliver.”

“Woah is this a bad time? You sound kinda mad.” Barry was shaking a packet of sugar into his coffee, holding his phone between his shoulder and his ear.

“Who is this?”

“Barry … Barry Allen from the bookstore. I don't know if you remember me it's been a couple days. Sorry, work was insane; crime has shot up recently,” he, of course, left out the bit where he travelled back to Sun City to work on an unexplainable case.

“What? Oh yeah, Allen … the CSI right?” he feigned a light memory lapse. “What can I do for you?”

“Well, at the risk of sounding like one of your fangirls … I was thinking about you. Well, not just you-you and your son. I wanted to check in. I didn't care to ramble, which will stop soon but I can show you Jitters this week-- if you haven't already found someone to show you that is-- and just yeah--”

Oliver, while relieved and endeared- (even if he didn't have the foggiest idea why), cut Barry off. “Officer,” he started.

“Oh, I'm not an officer. Some CSIs are different, some are both but I’m not … Barry is fine.”

“Barry … um,” he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “I would love to get coffee this week. You can tell me more about the city too.”

“Sure!” Barry blinked, surprised.

“Actually what are you doing right now?” Oliver asked suddenly.

“I'm not really doing anything, I'm watching my nephew at six but other than that nothing.

“Great. Could you come over?”

“Um, sure,” Barry bit his lip. He wasn't sure what Oliver Queen could possibly want from him. “Where are you?”

“I'm over Windsor Heights thirteen Maple Court, do you know where that is?” he glanced around the room before heading downstairs.

“Yeah, I know where that is,” Barry had only been to that part of the city a handful of times for work, but he was certain he could find his way there on his own. “You'll have to tell the security desk I'm coming though-- when do you want me there?” There he went again, seeing the best in people. He was always willing to help and that was his downfall.

“Could you come soon? I can compensate you for gas, of course, I know it's pretty far out,” Oliver hoped he wasn't being too forward but he did need a hand.

“Sure, I'll get there as soon as I can but gas money isn't necessary. I don't own a car. I'll be there soon.”

* * *

At S.T.A.R. Labs it was now nearing lunch and Ronnie appeared at Caitlin’s desk again. “Hey,” he smiled. “I'm running up to Titos, do you want me to grab you anything?” he offered.

“I'm fine, thank you,” she smiled. “if you'd like, you could stay here. Cisco left me some Puerto Rican leftovers that his mom made, she's actually a great cook.”

“That does sound a lot better than driving across town,” he allowed.

“I just need to see Grodd first!”

“What's a Grodd?” he asked, his eyebrows pulling together.

“Grodd is our resident Gorilla! I'll show you,” she stood and waited for him to follow.

They made their way down a level and into a room. It was pretty open, the only things inside were a refrigerator and a large cage. Inside the cage was a large gorilla.

“That's kind of sad,” said Ronnie. “He stays inside here all day?”

Caitlin went over to the fridge and pulled out Grodd’s tray. “Could you lock the door behind you?” she requested.

Ronnie nodded and did as she asked before watching her walk towards the cage and open it.

“Hi, Grodd!” she smiled. “This is my friend Ronnie.”

“He can't really understand you, can he?” Ronnie asked.

“Admittedly, not when I'm talking, no, but he likes the attention!” she smiled fondly at the creature before pressing her fingers together with her thumb, bringing her hand up to her mouth.

Grodd mimicked her and she put the plate of veggies down in front of him.

“You guys taught him sign language?” Ronnie asked curiously as he came into step beside her.

“Just a handful of words, he's very smart,” she formed the letter ‘G’ and then ‘smart’ but Grodd was focused on his food and didn’t see it.

“That’s really awesome.”

“Oh, boy--” Caitlin sighed and Grodd finished his food and came over to start picking at her hair. “Thank you, Grodd.

“What happened to his arm?” Ronnie asked, pointing to a large scar on his arm.

He wrapped his arms around Caitlin and she ‘oofed’ “Thank you Grodd,” she hugged the large creature awkwardly. She peeked around him at Ronnie. “There was another man working with wells a few years ago. He wasn't very nice to Grodd. When Wells found out she banned him from the property.”

“That’s a shame.”

“Okay Grodd,” she stood and lead him back into his enclosure, locking it securely.

“He really likes you,” Ronnie smiled. “Looks like I've got some competition,” he joked as they walked back to the Cortex.

Caitlin fought a flush for the second time that day. “There's no competition…” she trailed off, unsure of how else to address the comment.

“Then what's taking you so long?” he teased and stopped walking, crossing his arms and meeting her gaze. “I've been waiting for you to make a move,” he explained. “was starting to think you didn't like me” he winked at her. “… anyways, you have lots of opportunities, feel free to take one--"

He was cut off by Caitlin’s lips brushing against his, her hands cupping his face gently. When she realised she had just kissed her co-worker in the middle of the hallway, she jumped back. “I'm sorry-- that was totally inappropriate!”

Ronnie just started laughing, a light airy laugh that would have made Caitlin feel stupid if it came from anyone but him. “I think it was great! Sometimes you gotta bend the rules sometimes. Want to grab dinner after work?”

“I would love to.”

* * *

When Barry arrived at Oliver’s house, it took him about a half hour to arrive by bus. The size of the house was intimidating. Two stories and what looked to be an attic up top. The house could probably fit two of the West house inside of it, if not more.

Barry rang the bell quickly before starting to wring his hands out awkwardly.

Only a few short minutes passed before Oliver pulled the door open. “Thank you for coming,” he stepped aside and invited Barry in.

“This is a really nice place,” said Barry casually.

“Thanks. I don't know if I like it but it’ll do. If you’ll follow me, we’ll get right to it and you can back to whatever you were doing before I dragged you out here,” he started to head up the stairs.

Barry decided that Oliver Queen was a strange person, but Barry had been called strange for most of his life. It was a feeling Barry couldn't quite explain-- he trusted him. Though that was Barry’s nature. “Alright!” he followed him up to the room in question.

“I wanted your opinion, my friends just keep telling me it's fine, but I feel like I can trust you to give a real opinion,” he stuffed his hands into his pockets.

“I think it's too much.” Barry decided after taking a look around the room. “You said your boy is ten?”

“Yes, he just turned ten.”

“He doesn’t really need his own laptop. You could get a desktop for the house that he can use, that way you make sure he doesn’t download anything dangerous and fry the thing-- I've got a friend who works in computers.” Barry started. “and this might be a nitpick but he doesn't need every single game system on the market.”

“I’ve never _really_ played video games. I just got whatever was at the store,” Oliver admitted.

“You don't have to try so hard, the books alone were very nice.”

Oliver nodded. “Thank you for being honest. It's … refreshing.”

“Can I say something else too?” asked Barry.

“I'm all ears. I want my son to be happy here eventually,” he nodded seriously.

“I think this house may overwhelm him. It's huge, and from how you talk about him it seems like his coming to live with you isn't under the best circumstances,” Barry knew his statement was hold and possibly rude but he did promise Oliver he would be honest.

“His mother died.”

Barry paused. “I think this house might make him feel lonely.”

“I didn't even think about that,” he replied. “Thank you. He's my first child.”

“Happy to help.”

Oliver compared Barry to Felicity very briefly in his mind. They were both people he found himself trusting without much effort, and he couldn't explain why. “I almost forgot,” He pulled out his wallet and tried to pass Barry a bill.

“What's this?” Barry’s eyebrows pulled together, nearly shrinking away from the money.

“If you didn't drive I'm assuming you took the bus. So I'm covering your fare,” he spoke smoothly.

“That is twenty dollars. The bus is like four dollars,” Barry objected.

“Oh.” Oliver seemed momentarily embarrassed, but didn't show it and put the bill away.

“So,” Barry stuffed his hands into his pockets. “You're probably nervous, right? My brother was off the wall when he found out his girlfriend was pregnant,” he laughed lightly.

“I can handle it,” he shrugged. “I came back from the dead, I think I can handle a ten-year-old,” he smiled a little.

"You may have missed the one hundred questions phase but you're getting close to the rebellion stage,” Barry attempted to contribute. "Also, he may be angry at first, be patient with him."

“Hey, do you want to grab lunch somewhere? I've been hauled up inside all day. I'll drive, I need directions to Big Belly Burger anyways.”

“Sure,” Barry shrugged his shoulders, accepting the sudden subject change.

* * *

When they sat down at the fast food restaurant, Oliver had picked a booth towards the back. Something Barry hadn't even blinked at.

As he spoke his phone went off. He pulled it out and glanced at it. “Oh wow!” he said, grinning.

Iris: Hey Barr. Your boyfriend was spotted near a warehouse just outside the city. [Iris sent a somewhat gritty photo of the Green Arrow]

Barry made a face at the message before shooting back.

Barry: He's not my boyfriend, shut up.

“What is it?”

“The Green Arrow was spotted in a warehouse just outside the city!” be showed Oliver the photo.

“You know about the Green Arrow?”

“Of course I know about the Green Arrow! I've been following him,” Barry admitted. “Not literally. I'm just a fan. I have theories. One: I think he wears green because he trained in some sort of jungle or forest environment and the Green is a nod to that.” he glanced at the image again. “This confirms my other theory!” Barry enlarged the image.

“What theory would that be?” Oliver asked, pulling his eyebrows together.

“The Hood and the Green Arrow are the one in the same,” he replied.

“What do you mean?” Oliver swallowed but didn't outwardly show any concern.

“I made that mask,” Barry pointed to the mark Green Arrow wore in the photo.

“You made it?” Oliver's eyebrows pulled together.

“A woman reached out to me via my blog and asked me for help, so I made the mask. She spoke pretty vaguely but I knew she meant the Green Arrow,” he laughed. “I was more than happy to help them so I just made it and left it where she said.”

“I'm surprised you like him. Most cops think he's a murderer,” said Oliver plainly. He was surprised Barry seemed to be a ‘fan’. He also made a mental note to have a very serious chat with Felicity next chance he got.

“I believe in the justice system, but I also know that the system isn’t always right,” Barry thought of his father. “He helped me once too, as the Hood,” he shrugged.

Oliver tried to think of when he had seen Barry’s face before, but he came up empty. He was certain that he had never seen him before that day in the bookshop. Though he had intervened in a few random muggings and similar situations. Never deliberately, but he never ignored someone who really needed help. “What happened? How did he help you?” Oliver found himself asking finally. He wanted to know and hopefully remember.

“When I was twenty-four I was in Starling to work on a case. I ended up meeting a guy and we got drinks. We were both kind of drunk-- anyways. Some guys decided they were offended by us holding hands and threw some words that escalated into them attacking us,” Barry winced, remembering. “The guy I was with took off and then the vigilante intervened. Which I'm grateful for. I'm clumsy and not a fighter even when I'm sober and three on one is overkill. I just remember seeing him-- then I woke up in the hospital.”

Oliver nodded once. He suddenly remembered helping Barry now. He couldn't remember his face because it was too bruised and bloody by the time he arrived on the scene. “That's terrible. I'm glad the vigilante showed up I guess.” Oliver, who was usually composed seemed uncomfortable.

“Is there an issue?” Barry asked.

“With what?”

“Me liking men,” Barry clarified, crossing his arms. If Oliver had any issues with him, he wanted them out in the open before they continued their friendship.

“Nope,” Oliver shrugged. “none of my business who you date,” he shot Barry what he hoped was a reassuring smile. “Does your family know?” he found himself asking.

Barry laughed softly. “Yeah, they're really supportive! I had to break the news to my oldest nephew recently actually.”

“How did that go?” Oliver asked.

“He's thoroughly confused and traumatized at the idea that gay people exist,” he snorted. When he glanced up at Oliver, and suddenly remembered that he hadn't chosen his audience well for that joke. He cleared his throat. “Sorry, bigots are always saying that ‘us gays’ are going to ‘corrupt the children’. E.J.’s biggest concern was whether or not his new uncle is going to like dinosaurs or not.”

“Oh, you're engaged?” Oliver looked up at him again. He was certain Barry never mentioned this before.

“Oh no. I'm kind of … off the market these days,” he shrugged. He didn't really make an effort for dating anymore. He didn't really make an effort for friends anymore either.

“I know how that is … Anyway, how old are your nieces and nephews?” Oliver asked, genuinely interested.

“My sister Iris’s kids, E.J. is four, and Esther is eighteen months. Then Wally’s son Sam is a little younger than Esther.”

“Oh, so really young,” he nodded once.

“They're growing so fast though. I remember when E.J. couldn’t even hold his head up,” a small smile formed on Barry’s lips at the thought.

“I think you're an interesting person, Barry,” Oliver stated casually.

"Thanks?" He was  surprised by the comment which he wasn't sure if he should take as a compliment or not.

* * *

“Oliver Queen wanted your opinion on his son’s bedroom?” Wally raised his eyebrows as he passed Sam over to Barry.

“Hey, Sammy!” Barry said softly but excitedly. The baby reached out and grabbed onto his nose, pulling hard, making him chuckle but also wince a little. “and yup! I don't know it was weird. I don't know what his interest in me is all about but he seems like a nice guy,” Barry shrugged his shoulders.

“You think everyone who isn't a criminal is a nice guy,” Wally accused. “and even then,” he did a shrugging gesture.

“Oh shut up and go to work.” He rolled his eyes “I hope Linda feels better soon,” Barry added politely.

“Thanks, I'll tell her. Thanks again for keeping him overnight.”

“I'm always happy to help.”

 **Oliver 2:30 AM:** _Should I get anything else for the house?_

 **Barry:** _Shouldn't you be like, asleep?_

 **Oliver:** _I could say the same thing about you._

 **Barry:** _No one sleeps when there are kids are under 5 around._

 **Oliver:** _Who do you have with you?_

 **Barry:** _[Barry sent a picture of himself in dim lighting. He was laying in bed, with a young baby asleep on his chest. One eye had to be closed because there was a small baby hand jammed into it.] Sam. He won't sleep unless he can pull your hair out and hit you in the face._

 **Oliver:** _I was almost sad I missed William’s baby years. Hahaha._

 **Barry:** _I don't think you really need anything else for William though. You're doing a good job._

 **Oliver:** _Thanks. Lunch tomorrow?_

 **Barry:** _Dinner? No idea if I'll be awake at lunch._

 **Oliver:** _Sure, 6?_

 **Barry:** _Yeah. Meet you at BBB._

* * *

Barry was nearly falling asleep in the back booth of Big Belly Burger when Oliver arrived, a bit late at that.

“Sorry.” he said, taking a seat. “I had some personal stuff to take care of. I didn't mean to keep you waiting.” Oliver was starting to have second thoughts about using Barry in his crusade after seeing how close he was with his family.

“You're fine, I'm barely functional always,” he laughed a little.

“Sam?”

“Yep,” he nodded once. "Hard to sleep with a baby hand in your eye."

Oliver went to order for them. He still wanted Barry around though-- he liked having him around. He hated liking it.

When he returned Barry began talking animatedly about an announcement S.T.A.R. Labs had made earlier.

“So what's so great about this particle thing?”

“It's going to completely change everything we know,” he grabbed a napkin. “Do you have a pen?”

Oliver pulled the ballpoint pen out of his front pocket and passed it to Barry, watching him carefully.

“Okay this--” he filled in a small circle on the napkin. “is everything we know about science, and this--” he drew a large circle around that. “-- is everything we could learn from the particle accelerator!”

“That sounds important,” Oliver replied, nodding along. “I wish I understood more, sorry.”

“You're fine, I'm just going into nerd mode, I'll shut up.”

“I think it's fun,” Oliver smiled and he honestly wished that he had something like that to be so passionate about. He admired Barry’s sunny disposition.

* * *

It took Barry a few more days but he found the right warehouse, he had formed a pattern of where he thought the Arrow would move. He paused when he saw the man in green.

“Green Arrow?” Barry greeted him awkwardly, cleaning his throat.

The figure turned, quickly drawing an arrow and aiming it at Barry’s head.

Barry jumped back quickly and put his hands up. “Hey! I'm not an enemy! Honest?” but he saw the Green Arrow hesitate.

“Who are you?” Green Arrow demanded. “How did you find me?” his voice was disguised by some form of tech.

“I created a map based on where you'd been spotted in the city before and calculated that you would stop here next … I'm a scientist. I made your mask … how is it working for you?”

“It's … fine. Why are you here?”

“Well, I'm a forensic scientist. I wanted to know if I could help,” he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck.

“No,” The Green Arrow said firmly. “I don't need any help.”

As the Green Arrow Spoke, a blonde woman appeared. “Who's this?” she asked. “Green Arrow, put that down!”

“I'm Barry Allen,” Barry waved to her with a smile. “Were you the person I talked to about the mask?”

“Yep, that was me! I'm Felicity,” she crossed the room and shook his hand. “Wow, you're like really cute!”

“Uh,” Barry started, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “Nice to meet you.”

“He was just leaving,” said The Green Arrow. "And so are we, Felicity, tonight."

“I guess I was … listen I work at CCPD, if you decide you do need something, Felicity can come by. I just wanted to say thank you, a few years ago you helped me out when some guys beat me up me.”

"They failed my City when they made it unsafe," the Green Arrow replied dismissively.

When Barry was gone Felicity turned to the Green Arrow. “You've been trying to recruit him for days, then he shows up and you turn him away?” she crossed her arms as she struggled to grasp his logic.

“I thought he was a loner. I was wrong. He has a large family,” Oliver pulled down his hood when Barry was completely out of sight. “It's too risky to bring him close to the mission, he might talk.”

“Then why are you keeping him around?” she crossed her arms and raised her eyebrows at him. She was getting more than a little tired of his secret plans that she was kept out of.

“Just … trust me,” he gave her a token Arrow stare that made her roll her eyes. He knew he was keeping Barry around for his saftey, but also for selfish reasons, but he wasn't ready to deal with that.

* * *

On a Saturday, Oliver came by Barry’s apartment. He knocked on the door and was surprised when a woman answered.

“You're Oliver Queen,” she looked at him with a confused expression.

“I'm looking for Barry,” he nodded once, holding his wrist behind his back.

“Oh,” she squinted at him slightly but stepped aside. “He ran out to get brownies. You're welcome to wait for him, he only went up the road,” she stepped aside. “So, Barry says you two have been hanging out a lot?”

Oliver slid into the tiny apartment, quickly going into ‘Mr. Queen mode’. “Yes,” he nodded with his best customer service smile. “He's been a great help in preparing me for when my son comes to love with me.”

“So he's mentioned,” she gave him a look, she was honestly suspicious.

“I'm guessing you're his sister, it's Iris, right?”

“Yes,” she nodded.

“Has Barry always been so great with kids?” he asked conversationally, but also curious.

Iris snorted. “Uh-- no. Not at all. When my oldest was born he wouldn't hold him because he was terrified of dropping him,” she laughed fondly at the memory. “it really wasn't until my youngest was born that he became super-uncle.”

“He's an honest guy?” Oliver pressed.

Iris raised her eyebrows at him. “Barry Allen is the most honest man I know,” she crossed her arms. “that boy couldn't lie if you if he tried. When we were seventeen, we crashed my dad's car and we were totally prepared to lie and say it wasn't our fault but then Barry nearly started crying and just cracked and took the blame.”

“That's refreshing,” Oliver laughed lightly.

“Do you not know many honest people?”

“I'm a businessman Mrs. Thawne, the corporate world is full of snakes.”

“Okay, I'm back I've got brownies! I hope your ready for an afternoon of--Oliver!” he greeted him with a grin. “great to see you. Iris and I were about to watch Singing in the Rain!”

“Barry is sad because his boyfriend rejected him,” Iris teased.

“I'm twenty-eight, stop saying ever famous character I have any interest in is my boyfriend,” he rolled his eyes and ran a hand over the back of his neck in a nervous gesture.

“But it's so cute when you blush like that!”

“I'm not blushing!” he rolled his eyes.

“You are a little,” Oliver found himself chuckling.

“You're from Starling City, Oliver. So tell us, do you like the Green Arrow?” Iris asked curiously.

“He’s trying his best for his city, I think,” Oliver shrugged his shoulders. “well, I'll leave you two to your movie!” he smiled a bit.

Barry walked Oliver to the door and when Iris was out of earshot Oliver leaned in. “Be careful with the Green Arrow, okay?” he gave him a serious look and squeezed his shoulder. Then he left before Barry could press for more information.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caitlin has big plans for Grodd and Barry in forced to confront some unpleasant memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the love! I hope you enjoy (: the next chapter is where the story really kicks off!

**Group Text: Cait, Cisco**

 

 **Caitlin:** _So I may or may not have kissed Ronnie in the middle of the hallway at work._

 **Barry:** _You kissed him?_

 **Cait:** _I know!! I have no idea what came over me! He told me to take an opportunity and I just did!_

 **Barry:** _Well, you're doing better than me in the love department :P_

 **Cisco:** _IT IS ABOUT GOTTDAMN TIME._

 **Cisco:** _Barry, you do not understand. I've been trying to make this shit happen since NOVEMBER. Also, we’re next. I need to find myself a girlfriend._

 

Barry sat at his desk in the precinct as he checked the group text. He was happy that Caitlin had finally sorted things out with Ronnie, even if he would miss teasing her about it.

“Hey, Barr!” Oliver grinned at him, appearing suddenly in the lab.

While Oliver had created a habit of inviting Barry to Lunch and he usually accepted; he never expected Oliver to show up at the precinct, unannounced nonetheless. Not that it was unwelcome, just a but surprising.

Barry jumped slightly and glanced up to see Oliver standing there with a smile on his face. “Hi, Oliver,” he said, trying to act natural. He immediately shoved the day’s newspaper article he’d printed out into a folder.

**_Green Arrow Takes Down Drug Lord In The Glades_ **

“Sorry, is this a bad time?” he frowned, worried he’d interrupted his work.

“Nope! Not at all, I was just waiting for a soil analysis to be finished,” he shrugged his shoulders and turned in his chair to look at him properly just as his phone buzzed twice in almost perfect succession.

 **Joe:** _Why did Oliver Queen come to me asking about you? Don't get mixed up with that guy. He’s bad news. We can talk about this at family dinner._

 **Eddie:** _Oliver Queen just came in and asked if a few of us knew you … thought you should know. I told him you were a good guy but that's all I said. Seems shifty._

Barry frowned deeply, his eyebrows pulling together before he looked up at Oliver again. “Mr. Queen, if there's something you need to know about me please ask me directly. Don't harass my family and co-workers.”

“Forgive me,” Oliver started. “I needed to see if you were trustworthy,” Oliver picked up a framed photo of Barry and Esther off of his desk. “This your niece? She's beautiful.”

“Yes,” Barry stuffed his hands into his pockets. This felt weird to him. He still wanted to trust Oliver, so he pressed the subject. “Why are you going behind my back?”

“I'm very careful about who I let into my life, especially now. My son's mother didn't just die. She was murdered,” Oliver informed him, watching his face for his reaction. He did his homework, he felt like he could trust Barry.

“Oliver, I'm sorry,” he paused. “but please don't go behind my back again. I'll gladly tell you anything you want to know but I can't be friends with you if I can't trust you to not constantly go behind my back.”

Oliver watched him for a second, surprised he stood his ground but was also impressed. “I was thinking about what you said. I moved out of Windsor Heights and into a smaller home in Danville. There are more families with children around William’s age there. Do you know the area?”

“Yes,” Barry nodded. “I grew up there. It's a really friendly neighbourhood.”

“Oh, good.” He nodded once. “Would you like to come see it soon? I set up William’s room again. I'm hoping I did a little better this time,” he laughed softly.

“Sure, when should I come by?” he asked.

“If you haven't taken your lunch break we could go now.”

Barry shook his head with an amused look on his face. Life with Oliver Queen was so fast-paced, even more so than with Iris and that was saying a lot. Everything was _right now_.

“I'll clock out for lunch now, just let me clean up a bit,” he began stacking up a few files before he went downstairs to clock out.

In the car, Barry finally asked. “Is there a reason you're so interested in me?”

“What do you mean?”

“I see you more than I see my sister at this point. She’s starting to think you want something from me.”

“Have you ever heard of the phrase ' _it's lonely at the top'_?” he cocked his head at Barry slightly as he spoke. “You're the first person I've met in Central City who hasn’t obsessed over my name. No one else is as genuinely friendly, you're refreshing to be around,” His words were half true. He did enjoy Barry’s company, and he found his rambling endearing … but he also knew his science knowledge would come in handy and most importantly he knew too much about the Green Arrow.

“I'm sorry.”

“No reason to be, here we are.”

Barry hopped out of the car and he hesitated, a cold feeling rushing through his torso as he took in the sight of his childhood home.

“What do you think?” Oliver asked, walking around the car and starting to head up the walkway.

Barry followed, images of his father being dragged out of the house by police officers bombarding his mind as he pressed onwards. He watched as Oliver opened the door and headed in.

Barry stood on the welcome mat, frozen in place at the threshold like a vampire needing an invitation. He didn't want to go inside. Every bone in his body was telling him to turn around and _run_.

_Run, Barry! Run!_

_Don't go inside the house! Stay out of the house!_

Oliver noticed his hesitance and urged him in.

Barry shook his head as if trying to dispel his thoughts and the memories that assaulted his psyche. He headed inside with a mumbled apology. Once inside, he saw the living room first and stopped. More images.

_His parents screaming for him to run. The lighting surrounding his mother-- when he found her lifeless body on the floor with a knife through her heart._

“Barry?” Oliver said his name to get his attention.

“Yeah?”

“Up here,” he waved for Barry to follow. He lead him to Barry’s old bedroom-- now it was William’s.

Images of him and his father setting up the fish tank which was once in the room and looking through his telescope flashed behind his eyes. The room was different now.

It had different curtains and a different bed. Plant posters lined the walls and Barry spotted the white desk from the previous house.

“I think William will love it,” said Barry, keeping himself collected.

“Thanks. My friend just kept saying it was fine. Anyway, I made lunch. I hope you like potato salad.”

* * *

It was an extremely busy day at S.T.A.R. Labs, even Caitlin was preparing to talk to her boss. Dr. Wells had always been what Cisco called ‘cool’. Though Caitlin didn't often use that word to describe her superiors. She hoped to catch him in a good mood, so she waited until he had beaten Hartley at Chess at least twice before she broached the topic.

“Dr. Wells?” she knocked on his open office door.

“Yes, Dr. Snow?” he turned around in his chair, carefully rising from it. “Come in, come in,” he gestured for her to come in.

She took a few steps in a little nervously. “I was wondering if I could talk to you about Grodd.”

“What about him, is everything okay?”

“Well, sort of. I think it's sad that we’ve been keeping him in such a small space. He doesn't get to walk on grass-- I don't think it's very fair,” she had never challenged one of his decisions before. She had hoped he would respond well.

“You're absolutely right, Dr. Snow,” he agreed. “Do you have any suggestions?” he pulled off his glasses and tucked them into his shirt. “If you do, I'm all ears and don't have another meeting for a while and would be happy to listen.”

“Cisco Ramon and I looking at the blueprints of S.T.A.R. Labs and I noticed we have a _lot_ of space in the east end of the courtyard, we could make him an enclosure there-- I have a scientific … colleague,--” she was of course, thinking of Barry, who upon learning S.T.A.R. Labs had a resident Gorilla, spent about a year researching them thoroughly. “--who knows a small amount about Gorillas and I’m sure he would be willing to design something that could accommodate Grodd…”

“Who is this colleague?” Harrison crossed his arms.

“Um, Barry Allen. He's the CSI at CCPD, graduated Suma Cam Lade with a degree in Organic science. He's pretty well rounded scientifically though, surprisingly so. He can definitely keep up with Cisco and I.”

“Barry Allen?” his interest seem to have piqued for a moment but then they composed himself.

“Yes, do you know him?” she asked, her eyebrows pulling together.

“No, not personally. I've got an old college buddy at CCPD, he's mentioned him,” he shrugged his shoulders. “But I think he would be perfect for the job and I would love to meet him.”

“I’ll be sure to give him a call then!” she smiled

* * *

After Lunch, Barry stopped when he saw the mirror in the living room. Slowly, he made his way across the room, fingertips meeting the antique wood. Barry was in another time now, a happier one.

_Nora Allen sat in the chair by the mirror, leaning over to adjust her earrings with its aid. Barry could remember exactly what they looked like. Silver with small white pearls. Tiny cylindrical beads hung down into a triangle formation and she wore a blue dress._

_“Barry, honey, could you help me?” She had asked as she struggled to clip her silver Tiffany and Co bracelet around her wrist._

_Smaller hands appeared to help her, clasping it after a few tries and he remembered he thought she looked like a movie star._

_“Thanks, Barry,” she smiled and kissed his forehead. “My beautiful boy. We're going to drop you off and Mr. West's but we’ll come get you on the way ho-”_

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Oliver smiled. “It came with the house. The previous owner asked me to leave it. She said she felt like it belonged here, and she was right.”

“It was made in nineteen-ten,” Barry wiped his face, but turning around was a bad idea-- images of his mother-- unhappy ones flashed behind his eyes again.

“You're an antique buff too?” Oliver chucked.

“No.”

“Did I say something?”

“This is my childhood home,” said Barry quietly, closing his eyes.

“Small world.” Oliver chuckled then paused, remembering what Barry had said about his foster father when they first met. “I'm sorry.”

“I can remember my mother would always use this mirror when she was getting ready to go out with my dad.”

“If you want it, you're more than welcome to it,” said Oliver without skipping a beat. “If it belongs to your family you should have it.”

“I don't want it. I can't look at it,” but he even as he said those words, his fingers met the surface of the wood again and he couldn't look away.

“Okay,” Oliver said softly. “Is your mother still with us?”

“She died when I was eleven.”

“It wasn't peaceful, was it?” Oliver guessed.

“She was murdered. I was there. They never found out who did it,” he took a deep breath. “I haven’t been here since that night. It’s one of the reasons I like the Green Arrow so much,” he looked up for a moment. “I thought, maybe he would have found her killer if he was here, you know?” Barry was rambling now but there was no turning back.

Oliver wasn't sure what possessed him in that moment, but he crossed the room and one of his large hands gripped one of Barry’s shoulders. He looked him square in the face and said “Whoever killed your mother, they failed this city. I'm sure the Green Arrow would have found them.”

“I'm sorry-- I have to--” Barry moved from under Oliver’s touch and headed out the front door, sinking down on the front steps. He closed his eyes and pressed his fingertips into his temple. He struggled to take deep breaths, a poor attempt to distract himself from the hole in his chest that was starting to reopen.

Oliver left Barry on his own long enough to get a glass of water. Once he did he came and sat down beside him and offered it to him. “I'm sorry for dragging you here.”

Barry accepted the glass, taking a few slow sips before speaking. “You didn't know. I'm just kind of embarrassed.”

“When they first found me,” Oliver started. “I couldn't sleep or eat for years, sometimes I still can't. My first night home, I attacked my mother because I confused her for a threat.” he glanced down at his hands. “So, I'm the last person you need to feel embarrassed around.”

“You spent five years on that island,” Barry remembered suddenly, if Barry was honest, he didn’t pay too close of attention to the headlines. He didn't know much about what happened to Oliver, he almost preferred it this way though. It gave them a sense of common ground.

“Yes.”

“I guess I'm in good company,” Barry said with a small weak smile. “That's not to say our traumas are comparable by any means-- I just meant,” he began to ramble.

"--I know what you mean,” Oliver assured him. “We both went through our own hells, even if they were different.”

“If you need help with William, you can always ask me,” Barry said suddenly. “I'm sure this will be hard for you. When does he move in?”

“He moves in on Sunday,” Oliver smiled a little. “I hope he can come to accept me.” Oliver was happy to change the subject.

“I see no reason why he wouldn't. It will take time but I'm sure he will eventually come to see that you're on his side,” Barry placed a hand on his forearm.

“Thanks, Barry."

Barry’s phone went off and he pulled it out. 

 **Caitlin:** _BARRY ALLEN CALL ME RIGHT NOW._

“Uh, my friend just-- It sounds like an emergency,” Barry pointed to his phone with a very awkward gesture.

“Go ahead!” Oliver smiled.

Barry called her number and stood from the steps, walking down and onto the walkway.

“Barry! Remember when we talked about the Grodd and you got excited about gorillas?”

“Um, yeah?” Barry’s eyebrows pulled together.

“Well, I told Wells I wanted us to build a new enclosure for Grodd and I recommended you for the design project. I told Wells about your diverse science background and he agreed!”

“Oh wow, really? Woah. That's insane. I mean, thank you! Am I qualified for that? Wow,” Barry spent a few more seconds gushing and thanking Caitlin before he got off the phone.

“That sounds like it was good news?” Oliver shot him a small amused smile. He couldn't help but find Barry cute, even if he didn't want to admit it.

“I got a job at S.T.A.R. Labs!” Barry beamed. He’d always had dreams of being inside S.T.A.R. Labs but to be able to work for Harrison Wells, that was beyond anything he ever could have dreamed of.

It became more and more clear to Oliver just how important science was to him. He mentally compared it to how Felicity cared about computers or how Tommy had felt about Power Rangers when they were kids, but it was somehow more intense. Though, Barry Allen, he was learning, was a very all or nothing person.

* * *

“Hey, Cait!” Ronnie smiled and took a seat next to her desk. “Do you have a second?”

“Sure!” she looked away from the medical monitor on her computer to glance up at him, she still felt a little nervous but

“So, I kind of jammed my hand in one of the belts of the particle accelerator and I was wondering if you could look at it?”

She blinked. “Yeah! Of course! Which hand?”

He offered her one of his hands and she grasped it carefully in both of hers, beginning to gently test it's range of motion.

“Your hand is really warm but it doesn't seem to be broken or anything-- wait there aren't any belts on the particle accelerator yet, Cisco just aproved a part order.” she paused and glanced up at him with a peculiar look.

“Oh, I run warm!” he grinned. “Well, I have a pretty girl holding my hand so I should probably taken her to lunch."

“That was _lame_ , bro!” Cisco called from the doorway.

“Oh,” Caitlin flushed a bit and stood, grabbing her purse. “Yes, let's go, but Cisco was right, that was lame. You can hold my hand anytime Mr. Raymond."

* * *

Oliver was sitting at his desk at work, he had actually come in that day. He had skipped more than a few days to prepare for William’s arrival. Which of course caused some tension in the office, as the Central City Branch was so new. He hadn't even gone to the new Sun City or Coast City branches yet, but that would have to wait.

 

 **Oliver 9:35 AM:** _Hey, Barry. Want to do lunch tomorrow? Or maybe breakfast? I'm calling your bluff about you making the best breakfast in Central City._

Oliver frowned when he checked that Barry still hadn’t replied to him. He battled with himself about texting him again, he didn't want to look up obsessive or desperate.

 **Oliver 12:45PM:** _You okay, B.A.?_

 **Barry:** _B.A.?_

 **Oliver:** _Like your initials, B A. Do you not like it?_

 **Barry:** _It's fine and everything is fine here, turn on the news._

Oliver turned the computer at his desk and quickly found CCPN’s live feed. A reporter appeared on the screen and Oliver rested his chin in his hand.

 _'I'm Linda Park and we’re here live in the Leadwood neighbourhood outside the Diamonds’ stadium which just hours ago was host to one of the most disturbing attacks since James Jesse AKA Trickster’s arrest decades ago. Sixty people injured and at least ten are dead from a compact explosive device which was rigged under a set of bleachers.'_  

 **Oliver:** _You weren't there were you?_

 **Barry:** _Not during! I was there for work. Collecting evidence. Sorry to worry you. Would love to do breakfast._

 **Oliver:** _I wasn't worried._

Barry pressed his lips together, knowing full well that that was a lie, but continued:

 **Barry:** _Okay, if I wouldn't be intruding I could make breakfast for you and William on Monday, I'm off work._

 **Oliver:** _Sure. Just email me a list OliQueenCEO@Qconsolidated .net_

 **Barry:** _Will do!_

That evening, Barry typed up a list on his phone of ingredients he would need to make breakfast for the three of them.

* * *

Barry just _barely_ made it through the door of the West house at six thirty-one PM. He was always late, so he was surprised to be almost on time. “I'm sorry--” he panted. “--I know I'm a little late but there was a sample at work and--” he walked across the way into the kitchen where Joe was.

“It's alright, Barr. Your siblings haven't even left home yet,” said Joe, glancing at his phone as he stirred a pot on the stove. “But that's good. We have time to talk.”

“About?” Barry’s eyebrows pulled together. He grabbed the spoon and took over at the stove.

“Oliver Queen,” he gave Barry a pointed look

“Look, Oliver already told me you two don't see eye to eye,” Barry made an effort to stop him. He didn't want to argue with Joe about who he spent his time with. _I'm an adult_. He thought to himself almost bitterly.

“Listen, when he was young he and his rowdy friends used to come down to Central City and cause all sorts of trouble. I have had that boy in handcuffs more times than I could count, then his father made it go away just like that--” he snapped his fingers.

“I would like to point out that all that stuff you're talking about, happened when he was what? An old teenager, early twenties? He's in his thirties now and spent five years stranded on an island. I think it's fair to say he's at least somewhat of a different person,” Barry argued, he honestly hoped that Joe wouldn't kick up as much of a fuss about the station as he had when Eddie and Iris started dating.

“You know that guy is … he's not like you, Barr,” Joe began, moving to grab the lemons from the refrigerator.

“We’re both blond,” Barry was curt, not even looking at Joe as he tossed a basil leaf into the pot he was stirring.

Joe had always been unwaveringly supportive of Barry in his identity, but there were still times when it seemed to Barry that he just didn't _get it._ He started to cut the lemons in half with a sharp knife. “You know what I mean, Barr.”

“Yes I do, and for the forty-fifth time, I like men, not _all_ men. You were like this with Cisco too. Let me have male friends,” if this had been ten years ago Barry probably would have run up to his room and slammed the door, but he wasn't a teenager anymore; he couldn't run from this uncomfortable confrontation. “Straight guys get to have female friends without their fathers breathing down their necks!”

“Fathers of straight son's don't get four am phone calls telling them their kid got the crap kicked out of them for holding hands with someone,” Joe started to squeeze the juice from the lemons with a lemon squeezer he’d fished out of a drawer.

“That was one time almost five years ago, not everywhere is like that,” Barry tried to argue, always wanting to see the best in people. Even if he still caught himself occasionally glancing over his shoulder.

“It was one time for _you_ ,” Joe argued. “When I first started as a cop, I saw _bodies_ of boys just like you, when I got that call, Barr, I-- If you think I'm just going to stop worrying because maybe you only got hurt once, then you're wrong.” he went on. “You always say you get to hide behind the science of things, but I've knocked on doors and told parents that their kids aren't coming home because someone decided their life was disposable.”

“You can't protect us from everything forever, Joe!” Barry’s tone was hard from the frustration. “at one point you have to let us go and stop constantly reminding me that I'm different!”

“Am I interrupting something?” Iris asked, raising her eyebrows at him, Esther was holding tightly to her shirt tightly, her usual place. Eddie appeared behind them, with E.J. by his side.

“No,” he said, but left without a word.

 

Barry decided to head across town to Cisco’s. He knocked on the door, he knew he was home because his entire twitter feed was just live-tweeting himself watching one of the newer Star Wars movies on DVD. He vaguely heard him yelling at the screen referring to someone called ‘Finn’ but he wasn't really listing.

Cisco paused the movie and quickly headed to the door. “Who is it?” he called through the hardwood.

“It's Barry!” Barry called back. He hoped Cisco would let him in, though he hadn't turned him away before.

“Oh good, I don't have to put on pants,” Cisco opened the door, he wore a plain black tee with the _Star Wars_ logo on it and a pair of baggy blue boxer shorts. He also wore a shower cap on his head.

Barry slipped inside, uncaring of Cisco’s appearance. “What's that?” he pointed to the shower cap.

“Gotta deep condition, bruh,” he laughed. “did you think my hair was this perfect without any work? I'm an engineer, not Harry Potter.” he spoke as if Barry should have known this information.

“I just need someplace to hide out a little, but I won't interrupt your movie,” he assured him, knowing how Cisco was about his film.

“Ugh, _please_ interrupt, it sucks,” he complained, shutting the door behind Barry. “What's on your mind?”

“I got into a fight with Joe,” he admitted, going to sit on the sofa.

Cisco laid down and put his head on Barry’s thigh, his shower cap crinkling against his jeans. “What about?”

“Well, you know I'm gay, right?” Barry checked.

“No. Not at all. I didn't know that.” he shook his head, the show cap crinkling as a smirk spread across his face. “Of course I know that. You have a _giant_ crush on my boss.”

“I don't have a crush on Harrison Wells!” Barry objected but was crushed under the weight of Cisco’s stare. “He's one of the most respected scientists in the world _and_ he's good-looking! Who wouldn't like him? He's attractive but I wouldn't say I have a crush.”

“But your one true love is the Green Arrow.”

“Not really, he's kind of a pill in person,” Barry admitted.

“You _met_ him?”

“We’re getting off topic, anyway, Joe is _amazing_. You know? Our family has our problems but I know he loves us. He's always accepted me, but he's so worried about us and it gets out of hand. He's always accepted me but he never lets me forget that I'm different.” He sighed and leaned his head back on the sofa, looking up at the ceiling. “Every time I make a guy friend he gets on me about how he's not like me and all that crap.”

“That sounds really annoying,” said Cisco. "But who's this new guy?"

“I just met a guy in a bookstore and helped him pick out some books for his kid. We’re friends and I think he's straight, so I mean-- I don't have feelings for him.”

“Ah,” he nodded. “Well, I have to deal with this,” he pointed to his hair. “If you want to order a pizza go ahead,” he stood and dropped his phone into Barry’s lap. “Pizza Palace has my info saved, so I'll buy if you tip the delivery guy.” he walked into the bathroom.

Barry used Cisco’s phone to order a pizza.

 

After he finished with that his own phone began to ring. He frowned and pulled it out, prepared to ignore the call, assuming it was Joe or one of his siblings. When he saw Caitlin’s name on screen though, he answered it. “Hello?”

“Barry!” she whisper-yelled into the phone. “Sorry I know you're at family dinner but--"

“I'm not at dinner, is everything okay?”

“No, I mean yes. I mean-- I'm in Ronnie’s bathroom in just a bra and my work pants.” she was still practically whispering into the phone.

“Is everything okay? Do you need me to come get you?”

“No!”

“Okay, what happened?”

“We were kissing and I put my hand under his shirt and things escalated … then I panicked and ran in here,” she explained. In Ronnie’s apartment, she was seated on the toilet with the lid closed. “Sorry I called you because Cisco would have made fun of me. I haven't slept with anyone since college!”

Barry repressed a laugh. “If you don't want to sleep with him, just tell him, if he's a dick about it Cisco and I will come over there.”

“No! I don't need to be rescued, god. I'm not a _damsel in distress_. I'm just a _damsel_ who _happens_ to be a little distressed.”

“So, you _do_ want to have sex with him?” he put his phone between his face and shoulder. “Also, how are you a damsel? When did you start using archaic terminology?”

“Of course I want to! Have you looked at him? Well, while archaic the literal definition of a damsel is a young unmarried woman. I am a young and unmarried member of the female sex.”

“When do we get to stop calling ourselves young? We’re getting close to thirty,” he stood when the doorbell rang and pulled out his wallet to retrieve a few bills.

“Are you calling me old, Bartholomew?”

Barry’s entire life flashed before his eyes. “Nope! Just musing!” answered the door and got the pizza, and giving the delivery man a tip. “look, Cait,” he started once the door was shut. “You're beautiful and Ronnie is totally into you, I don't know what you're worried about.”

“Hey, Cait,” said Ronnie through the bathroom door and Barry could just barely. “Are you okay? We can just talk if you want. I'm sorry if I freaked you out.”

“Go!” he laughed.

“Okay, I'm going, bye!”

Barry laughed and hit end, putting his phone back in his pocket. He brought the pizza into the table in the apartments kitchen area and soon Cisco returned, in just a towel, his hair wrapped up in a towel. “That was fast,” said Cisco.

“You were in the shower for like a half hour.”

Cisco let his hair fall from the towel on his head. “It takes time to look this good! I'm going to get dressed,” he turned around and headed into his room.

Barry laughed a little and opened the pizza box, he knew where Cisco kept his plates so he grabbed a couple.

* * *

 **Iris:** _What was that about last night? E.J. thinks you're mad at him because you didn't say hi to him._

 **Barry:** _Every single time I walk into that house Joe reminds me that I'm different._

 **Iris:** _My dad loves you what are you even talking about?_

 **Barry:** _I know he loves me, and I love him, but he can never shut up about my sexuality and I'm tired of it. Every time we talk I get some kind of lecture._

 **Iris:** _Well, you did get the crap kicked out of you for it. Even I don't sleep as well when you're in Star City anymore._

 **Barry:**  It was  _FOUR years ago! I'm trying to move past it._

 **Iris:** _I don't understand why you're being like this._

 **Barry:** _I love you guys but you don't get it._

 **Iris:** _Then help us to instead of running away!_

 

Barry sighed and put his cell phone away. He was tired of explaining himself to them. At first it was fine but after the first year it started getting old.

“What was that? Oliver asked, glancing at Barry from across the counter. They were sitting in Oliver’s kitchen-- Barry’s childhood kitchen.

“Huh?” Barry glanced up at him.

“You seem stressed.”

“It's just my foster dad and my sister being difficult,” he shrugged his shoulders. “When is William getting here?”

“Yeah … we need to have a talk about that,” Oliver pressed the tips of his fingers together on the table as he seemed to be searching for his words. “… I _can_ trust you, can't I?”

“Absolutely you can,” Barry nodded quickly.

“My son might not speak to you, please don't be offended by this,” he began, his fingers weaving together and he tapped his thumbs together. “I'm going to go get him now.”

Barry nodded and watched Oliver leave before starting to get breakfast ready.

By the time Oliver returned, Barry had made eggs, bacon, sausage and three different types of pancakes. He entered the front door with a boy by his side.

Barry froze when he took in the site of the boy. He couldn't have been older than nine or ten, his freckled face had light, nearly faded bruises speckled across it. Barry also quick spotted a short set of stitches above the boys left eye, and across his cheek on the opposite side of his face.

Barry felt something tug in his chest when he looked at him but didn't draw attention to it. “Hi, William,” he said with a soft smile. “I'm Barry, I hope you're hungry because I made a lot of food. What kind of pancakes do you like?”

William didn't say anything, he just tilted his head downwards and glared at the floor.

Oliver placed a hand on William’s shoulder, watching Barry’s reaction. William pushed his hand away in a very aggressive gesture and it became clear to Barry in that moment that Oliver seemed to be in over his head.

“William,” Barry spoke again but more softly. “I know you're probably feeling a lot of things at once, and I bet that's really scary. But those cuts look like they hurt and they won't get any better if you don't eat.”

Oliver still had his eyes on Barry the entire time, a new kind of anxiety rising in his chest.

“I'm don't want to be here!” William stomped his foot on the hardwood. “I want to go home!”

“I know,” Barry smiled sadly before turning back to the mounds of food on the counter, he piled it up with a few types of meat and some plain pancakes. “I made you a plate, you can go in and get it whenever you want. I'm going to talk to your dad.” He stepped out of the room with Oliver.

“I'm sorry, he's been through a lot--” Oliver immediately apologised.

“Please don't apologise for him, he's processing trauma. I understand he's probably a good kid,” Barry cut Oliver off. “I'm not an expert but I would give him a few weeks to settle in and then try to get him some therapy if you can. I know when my mom died I refused to eat for almost three months until Joe finally broke down that wall.”

“Thank you,” he nodded.

“What happened, exactly?” Barry asked hesitantly.

“He tried to protect his mother, and the people who killed her didn't care that he was a child. They beat him for information he didn't have-- and then they left. It was two days before a neighbour found him.”

“I'm sorry,” Barry touched Oliver’s arm. “I can come over and help out sometimes, you're not alone in this, alright?”

“Thanks.”

“I'll come see you both on Monday.”

"I would like that."

* * *

A few weeks on, Barry got word that the Green Arrow had been spotted in Central City the previous evening. So he took up a search again, easily finding where he was hiding out.

“I told you to go!” The Emerald Archer complained, crossing his arms. However, he didn't aim an Arrow at Barry this time.

“I just had a question for you that's all,” Barry rubbed the back of his neck anxiously. Spending so much time with Oliver and William had dragged up a lot of things from the past.

“Well, hurry up. I have … things to do,” he complained, seeming put off by Barry’s presence, his voice was again disguised by some sort of tech.

“I've seen videos of you fighting and shooting online … are you completely human?” he asked blatantly.

“Of course I'm human, what kind of question is that?” he eyed Barry carefully from behind his mask.

“When I was eleven, my mother was murdered, but it was … impossible. They arrested my father because they thought he did it, I've been trying to find the truth and free my father ever since,” he crossed his arms. “I thought maybe if you were inhuman, you could help me.”

“What happened to your mother?”

“She was murdered, by a ball of lighting with a man inside,” he watched for the Green Arrow’s expression with intensity.

The Green Arrow looked at him straight. “I'm sorry about your mother. I believe you, but I’m only human, I can't help you. Now, please leave. It isn't safe for you to hang around here.”

Barry stared at him for a few seconds, taken aback. No one had ever validated that before. His friends had always believed that his father was innocent, even when Joe didn't, but he could always tell they questioned the part of the story pertaining to his mother’s true killer.

* * *

Barry was sitting at his desk, mulling over his file that he kept on The Green Arrow. He had just updated his blog about his newest findings on the vigilante.

 **Oliver:** _What did you just post? Delete it, Barry._

Barry raised his eyebrows at the text message, wondering what business Oliver had with his blog.

 **Barry:** _What are you talking about?_

 **Oliver:** _The blog post about The Green Arrow. I'm on my way to the precinct._

 **Barry:** _Okay?_

Barry set his phone down and closed up his file, stuffing it into his drawer. He sighed heavily and ran a hand into his hair.

When Oliver entered the crime lab he shut the large metal door behind him and Barry had to admit he felt a little anxious.

“Barry, delete the post about the Green Arrow from your blog,” he didn't sound like he was asking, and that made Barry defensive.

“Why? I'm a grown man I can do what I like.”

“The Green Arrow is _dangerous_ , I'm just looking out for you!” Oliver was growing agitated.

“The Green Arrow is a good guy! He's the only person who's ever believed me. I'll do what I want,” He crossed his arms. “I want you to leave.”

“Barry, just liste to me--”

“I'm not deleting the blog post and you coming in here and giving me orders is completely out of line.”

“Barry Allen, I swear if you do not delete that post--”

“Hold on,” Barry stood and got close to Oliver. “You're threatening me? You _really_ want to do that? There are a dozen cops under our feet who would gladly help me get a restraining order.”

“Barry, I didn't mean-- you're painting a target on your back.”

“Listen, I care about you, but you _can’t_ come in here and try to control my life. I want you to get out of my office and don't contact me until you've calmed down and can have an actual conversion with me. We’ve has discussions about boundaries before."

“Barry--"  
“I said _get out_ , Oliver. If we have to talk about this again we are done.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll admit I'm having a bit of a hard time with Ronnie/Caitlin. I've really only written them one other time in a one shot [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15440313) but it was background, so I want to be upfront about having never written them as a semi-main pairing! Sorry about that.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry and Oliver reconcile with each other over their latest bump in the road while Oliver struggles to form a relationship with his son.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick thing, I feel weird about the first three paragraphs of this chaper but I don't know if there's actually something wrong with them or if I'm just being an insecure writier.

Oliver took a deep breath. He knew he was on thin ice. “You're right. I'm going to go,”

“Yeah, thanks.” Barry rolled his eyes.

Oliver had left the precinct in frustration. He knew he had been out of line, of course, he knew that. Oliver was suddenly remembering why he didn't get close to people. He had gotten close to Barry, he wasn't sure why he allowed that to happen but he cared about him.

He had only known Barry for a few months, but there was something about him that drew Oliver in. He was the easiest person to be around. He didn't feel as weighed down by the island as he did with other people. That wasn't to say that Barry directly affected his trauma. It was more that Barry was so forgiving. If Oliver had to leave because he was stressed, Barry never questioned it or pushed him in any direction.

It wasn't like his family who pushed him harder into the corporate world when he was still trying to recover from the worst of it when he first returned from the island. The only thing he ever received from Barry was a smile and ‘Okay, take care of yourself. You know where to reach me’ and honestly it was refreshing. When Barry started coming around the Green Arrow after that though, things started to get messy. Even if that had been Oliver's plan from the very start.

He hadn't planned on throwing a fit over the blog, and he knew he was in the wrong. He knew he had to fix things. Though he was entering his third strike. He had gone from treating Barry as a suspect to getting him too close.

He wasn't sure how he could come back from this, not really. However, he was determined to try at some point. Maybe after things cooled down. With Barry so close to the Arrow he had to fix things.

* * *

"I was just trying to look out for him and he threw me out of his lab!" Oliver vented clear frustration in his voice.

  
"I don't know why you're so interested in this boy, Oliver. We have bigger things to focus on." John Diggle didn't look up from the gun in his hand. Most of the parts laid out on the table as he cleaned the barrel. “Also, you _did_ show up at his place of work raving like a lunatic.”  
  
"I just don't understand why he shut me out like that. It doesn’t seem like him."  
  
“Are you sure your interest in this boy purely pertains to his knowledge of the Green Arrow?” John glanced up at Oliver, studying his face carefully.

“What does that even mean, Diggle?” Oliver sighed.

Diggle responded with a pointed look.

“What?”

“Exactly what I asked.”

“What other reason would I hang around him?”

“I’ve got this cousin, he's bisexual, loves anybody. He lived with my family for like a year after his parents kicked him out because he had a boyfriend,” He informed Oliver, looking back down at his gun.

“Why are you telling me this now?” Oliver crossed his arms.

“I'm just saying if your feelings for this Allen kid aren't strictly professorial, I would understand. He's pretty endearing from how you described him.” John began to put his gun back together.

“I don't have time to think of people like that, not with this mission,” Oliver insisted, but not outright denying he was anything other than straight.

“I know. I have to get back soon, Roy and I are holding down the fort pretty well. Thea’s recovery remains steady, she's walking almost completely unassisted.”

“Thanks for the update. I'll return to town to check in on things soon.”

The more he thought about what Diggle said, the more he was annoyed. He however did manage to realise that he was out of line.

* * *

 **Oliver:** _Hey, B.A. I was hoping we could set up a time to talk. I know we probably need to._

 **Barry:** _I'm off this coming Monday, we can talk over lunch but I'll most likely have to bring Esther. E.J. is in quarantine because he's got some nasty bug._

 **Oliver:** _That's fine._

Barry put his phone away as Wally began to speak again.

“I just don't understand it,” Wally began at the bar with Barry. “Just talk to dad about it. Apologise and this will go away.” That evening Wally had reached out to Barry in an attempt to figure out the strain on his relationship with Joe and Iris.

Barry sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Look, I'm sorry Wally it just doesn't feel great when I breathe near a guy and Joe brings up all this stuff. This probably isn't the best comparison, but it's the best one I can think of. It's like, I've seen people be racist towards you. I've heard people say _that_ _word_ to you.”

“Okay, and?” Wally pressed, crossing his arms.

“Imagine if after that I reminded you every single time you went out? ‘Wally, people called you that word once, so you need to be careful.’ after a while it would feel crappy, right? If I just kept pointing out that there are people who think badly of you for no reason?”

“I guess I do kind of get what you're saying … but Barry you almost _died_ and that would have killed my dad.”

“You can be worried without me without throwing it in my face, Wally. Look, I’ve learned how to walk through life as a gay man, I don't need instruction.” He sighed and pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes. “It’s just like I can worry about E.J. and Esther, and Sam, without making them feel like crap about it, and trust me, I worry about them.”

“I'll try to talk to my dad and Iris,” Wally decided.

* * *

When Oliver showed up in the big Belly Burger he found Barry at a back booth with Esther in a high chair. He made his way towards them, quickly sitting across from Barry. “Thanks for meeting me.” He waved to Esther. " _Hello_ ," He smiled.

Esther didn't seem very interested in the new person, her eyes stayed on her uncle Barry.

“I like to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, I hope we can talk about this,” Barry replied simply, folding his hands together.

“A good friend helped me see that I was out of line, The Green Arrow is just a very sensitive subject for me.” Oliver paused when Barry ordered a burger for himself and a Big Belly Burger equivalent of a Happy Meal for his niece. He then ordered a burger for himself.

“Do I get to hear why?” Barry pressed as he tried to keep Esther occupied.

“Um,” Oliver rubbed his hands together anxiously for a moment, am action Barry had never seen from Oliver before. “The information those people wanted from my son, was whether or not his father was the Green Arrow. Which I'm not. I don't have time to be a vigilante.”

“Oliver, I'm sorry …” Barry’s hand came to rest on top of Oliver's to still them.

“I know we've only known each other a few months … but I care about you," He cleared his throat, clearly not used to talking out his feelings. He pulled his hands back though, feeling awkward about the contact. "enough to not want to see you getting mixed up in this."

“What happened to your son and his mother was terrible,” he began, setting up Esther's lunch as it arrived. “I'll also say that I understand your reaction now. It was coming from fear,” he leaned back in the booth. “But this is the second time I've had to correct you on boundaries. I want us to be friends but I can't be the only one keeping you in check.”

“I'm doing my best.”

“I believe you,” Barry gave him a small smile. “but at some point, I will have to stop giving you second chances. Even if I don't want to. So be aware of that. I don't think you're a bad guy either, you just really need to turn it down a notch if you want this friendship to continue. I understand where your coming from, I'm not going to judge you because you got scared, so be honest with me next time.”

“I guess I'll have to be better, then. Raisa was just telling me about how bad I am about admitting I'm wrong,”

“I care about how you feel too, Oliver.” Barry began seriously. “I’m not going to just give into your demands, that's not healthy, but maybe we can come to some sort of middle ground? I'll stop making so many posts about The Green Arrow, but the old one stays up … and I'm going to support The Green Arrow.” Barry passed Esther another french fry. “On the condition that you have a normal conversation with me that something is bothering you.”

“What is your obsession with him?”

“He helps people … and he's the only person who has ever looked me in the eyes and said he believed what really happened to my mother,” Barry answered simply.

“What really happened to your mother, Barry?” Oliver asked innocently.

“I don't know if I'm ready to talk to you about it yet, is that okay?” he looked over to check in on Esther who was devouring her french fries.

“That's more than okay,” Oliver gave a firm nod.

* * *

A few days later, Barry was at Oliver’s again. “Hey, William,” he smiled at the boy. In return he only received a blank stare, but he didn't react to it negitively, or point out his silence. He just smiled. “Have you thought about getting back to school?” He asked as he started on the French Toast, getting the ingredients out. After four breakfast time visits he had gotten it out of William that it was his favourite.

William nodded once. “I want to start soon, but Oliver said no.”

“Hm, well, I'm sure he’ll come around. He cares about you and wants to make sure you're ready. Did he tell you I lost my mom too?”

William shook his head.

“I was about as old as you are. I didn't go back to school right away after summer ended either, so don't beat yourself up if you have to wait a little. Okay?”

“Why are you friends with my dad?” William asked after a moment.

“Why?” He pulled his eyebrows together and lined up four pieces of soaked bread onto the pan easily. He was clumsy, but he could cook pretty well.

“He never lived in Central City before.”

“Oh, yeah. We met in a bookstore when he was getting those botany books for you.” He stayed focused on the French Toast. “I helped him set up your room a little bit-- he was really glad he could move you in with him."

“There's my guys-- well not _my guys_ \-- my friend and my son--” he cleared his throat, but looked happy to find them both in the same place, when he left the room they William was elsewhere.

“William, were you having a good talk with Mr. Allen?”

William just nodded, looking down at the plate Barry had set out for him.

“I was just telling William how glad you were to get him moved in here--” Barry started to pile finished pieces of French Toast onto a large plate.

“Oh,” Oliver smiled and went to help Barry, he started a pan of bacon. “You're right, Barry. I'm really glad he could get moved in here.” He turned to William. “Did you know that Mr. Allen did the DNA test that helped me finalise getting custody of you?”

“I didn't know that,” William spoke quietly.

* * *

A few weeks on, Oliver sat at the kitchen table, watching William play with a bowl of sugary cereal rather than eat it. “Would you like me to make you something else?” He asked quietly.

William looked up at him. His bruises were completely faded now and the stitches had finally fallen out, leaving only scars. The psychical pain had ceased, but the emotional wounds, those didn't heal quite as easily. He didn't speak, he just looked at Oliver for a few seconds.

“How are you feeling kiddo?” he asked after taking a few seconds to let William process his first question.

“Why doesn't your friend come over anymore?"

“Which friend?” Oliver asked carefully, hoping to keep him talking.

“The scientist.”

“I don’t know. I’ll text him now.” Oliver pulled out his phone and shot Barry a text.

 **Oliver:** _Would love if you came by for dinner, I'm cooking. William was asking about you._

Barry replied right away.

 **Barry:** _Maybe another night. I'm just getting back from out of town. Had one more impossible case to look into before I start my work with S.T.A.R. Labs. Plus the particle accelerator goes on tonight! Watching it live while I work!_

 **Barry:** _Oh but make sure to let him know I had fun a few weeks ago at breakfast! He was really chatty, nice to see him opening up (:_

 **Oliver:** _Must be something about you. He isn't too talkative with me, but I'll tell him. Thanks again._

“He’s busy with work. I'm sorry, but he said he liked chatting with you at breakfast.”

“Oh,” he looked back down to his cereal.

“Do you like Barry?” Oliver tried again, hoping he could get him to open up. During his last visit, Barry had managed to get a few sentences out of William about plants and even taught both him and Oliver some grounding techniques he learned from Caitlin. It wasn't much but it was more than Oliver had managed on his own, admittedly.

William shrugged his shoulders and put his bowl in the sink, not saying anything else. He hadn't said much to Oliver at all. “When can I go home?”

“William, we talked about this--”

“You don't even want me here,” William retorted.

“Of course I want you here … William, what gave you the idea that I didn't want you?”

“You never came to get me before my mom died,” William pointed out.

Oliver rubbed his hands together for a moment, trying to figure out how best to broach the topic. “We can talk about that if you really want to,” He said calmly. “But it's kind of an adult conversation, do you think you're ready to understand it?”

William nodded once. “I can understand,” he confirmed.

“Your mother and I were only together for a very short time when we made you,” Oliver began to explain, watching his son’s face. “I left Central City and I didn't know about you,” He paused and looked down at the counter again. “I only learned that you had been born when I visited Central City in January, and we saw each other in the coffee shop, remember that? With your action figures?”

William nodded once but Oliver wasn't sure to which statement the gesture belonged to. He continued to sit in the kitchen in silence for a few more seconds.

“That was the first time I saw you. I talked to your mom and she was rightfully worried about how I would affect your life … I was not a good person when I was with your mother, but I would like to think that I'm a better person now.”

“Then what happened?” William asked, still not looking Oliver in the eye. “I didn't really meet you until the end of August …  then…” William closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around himself.

“I know this is confusing and upsetting, buddy. Do you want to take a break and we can talk more in a little bit? We can go sit on the porch.”

“I want to go outside,” He barely managed to get the words out.

Oliver stood. “Okay kiddo, let's go sit on the porch, it's okay.”

They made their way outside and William sat on the porch with his hands on his head, trying to level his breathing.

Oliver watched him for a moment before coming to sit down with him, he gave him a wide berth as not to stress the child further. “I'm sorry I'm not as good at this as Thea or Barry,” he said softly and held out a hand towards William. “but I promise I'm doing my best to be there for you.”

“Tell--” He took in a shaky breath. “Tell me what happened next.”

“Okay, kiddo.” Once again he spoke softly. “After I saw you and your mother in Jitters. I talked to her about it a short time later, it turns out that some things happened around that time with my family. Your mother was forced to make the decision that I wouldn't know about you.”

“My mom lied to me? I don't believe that.”

“No, it wasn't like that. She had to protect you from my life. I need you to understand that around the time you were born, I was not a good person.”

“What did you do that was so bad that you couldn't keep me?”

Oliver scratched his chin. “We can talk about that part when you're older. What matters is I would have hurt you, William. You deserved better than thinking I didn't want you.” Oliver clasped his hands together. “Because back then, I only cared about myself, everything and everyone else was an afterthought.” He couldn't exactly tell his eleven year old son about his promiscuous partying days.

“What made you change?”

“Something really, really bad happened to me,” Oliver admitted, crossing his arms when he accepted William wouldn't take his hand.

“What?”

“You don't need to worry about that.” He took a deep breath. “I know a lot has happened this year, and I know you're upset and scared.” he looked up at William again. “But I promise you're safe now and I want you here.”

“And you promise that you're not the Green Arrow?”

“I promise. Were you listening when I read you the paper this morning?” he asked with a small smile. “The Green Arrow is catching criminals in Star City. I can't be in two places at once my dad powers haven't kicked in yet.” he winked, hoping this would be the right time to lighten the mood.

“Can I go back to bed?” William asked, not looking at Oliver.

“Yeah, you can, but when you get up I need you to try and eat something, okay?” Oliver pressed.

William nodded and rose from the porch steps, disappearing into the house leaving Oliver behind.

* * *

A week later Oliver decided to head to the precinct to see if Barry wanted to do lunch. However, when he got up to the crime lab he was shocked by the state of it. A mixture of water and coloured chemicals coated the floor, shelves were overturned, broken lab equipment was strewn across the floor.

He headed back down the stairs, stopping one of the officers. “Excuse me. What happened to the crime lab? It's a mess.”

The officer frowned deeply. “They're sending specialists in to clear it out today. They're looking for a replacement for Allen too, it's a shame really. He was a good one, poor boy.”

Oliver froze and without a second of hesitation rushed down to the second level of the precinct, heading over to Eddie’s desk “Detective Thawne, could I have a moment of your time?”

Eddie glanced up at him and looked it over. “I guess.” All Eddie knew about Oliver came from Barry and Joe. Both sides were very conflicting, so he had long decided to make his own judgments. However, after Oliver him about Barry, he wasn't sure if he trusted him or not.

“What happened to Barry? I just got back from the crime lab.”

Eddie stuffed his hands into his pockets. He had gathered enough information about Oliver from Barry and Iris to determine that he probably wasn't that bad. Barry seemed to like him, and he trusted Barry’s judgment most of the time.

“Barry’s in the hospital,” Eddie informed him. “He got struck by lightning when the particle accelerator exploded.”

Oliver frowned. “How are Wests and the kids holding up?”

“You know my kids?”

“I saw Esther once, but mostly Barry just talks about them all the time,” Oliver gave a small smile.

Eddie’s expression softened slightly. Within a few minutes of talking to Oliver, he could tell that he wasn't being fake. Being a detective gave him a knack for telling when people were lying, and Oliver seemed genuine. “E.J. is holding up, the other two don't really understand, too young.”

Oliver nodded once.

“You know, he really saw something good in you. My father-in-law has no idea what though.”

“What's your opinion of me?” Oliver asked suddenly, catching Eddie a bit off guard.

“Your first impression wasn't great. What's your obsession with my brother-in-law, anyway?” He decided to ask a blunt question as well.

“Obsession?” Oliver’s eyebrows pulled together. “I don't know what you mean.”

“Oliver-- can I call you Oliver?” --Oliver nodded-- “He’s spent a lot of time with you, and he's told me about your disagreements.”

“Is he going to be okay?”

“Uh--” Eddie stuffed his hands into his pockets. “They don't know.”

“Thawne,” said Captain Singh. “Has there … been any update on Allen?” he called from his office door.

“His condition is the same, sir.”

Singh just nodded and headed back to his office without another word.

“What exactly is his condition?” Oliver asked, though he wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer.

“He’s comatose.”

Oliver gave a firm nod before a call came in that Eddie and a few other officers had to attend to, leaving him virtually alone in the precinct.

* * *

Oliver stopped by the hospital on his way back from the Precinct. Well, he told himself it was on the way. He made his way to the front desk and leaned over slightly. “Excuse me--” He glanced at one of the medical assistant's name tags. “Dan, is there a Bartholomew Allen here? Middle name is Henry or Harold or something with an H.”

“Are you family?”

“I'm Oliver Queen.”

Dan glanced up at him from her paperwork. “Are you family, Mr. Queen?”

“I'm _Oliver Queen._ ”

“So you've said. I can only release information to pre-approved individuals,” Dan said seriously. “Family. So unless you can prove some sort of family relation, I can't release any information to you.”

“I just want to cover his medical expenses, look my father practically built this hospital.”

“I don't care if you're the president of the United States. I need proof of relation or I can't give you any information. If you'll excuse me, I have patients to run.”

“Hey, it’s Oliver, right?” Came a voice from the side a few seconds later.

Oliver turned to see a man he admittedly didn't recognise. He studied his face for a moment hoping to piece together his identity but he couldn't. “Yes, that's me … sorry, you are?”

The man extended a hand to him. “Wally West! I'm Barry’s younger brother.”

“Oh,” Oliver nodded and gave him a firm handshake. “Nice to meet you. Yes, I'm Oliver Queen.”

“Did you come here to see Barry?” Wally shit him a bright grin.

“I wouldn't want to intru--”

Wally made a gesture indicating that Oliver should follow. “Come on, he’s this way.”

Oliver closed his mouth and began to follow the young man down the hallway.

“Hey, Barr!” Wally grinned, entering the room. He patted his arm. “It's Wally, and your friend Oliver is here too!” He pulled up a chair for Oliver.

“Hey, Barry,” Oliver cleared his throat. “Good to see you,” he looked towards Wally again. “So … are you in college now?” Oliver asked casually, as he guessed Wally was in his early twenties.

“Nah. I _just_ finished my degree. Right now I'm working at an auto repair shop. I'm really into cars.”

“That's fun,” Oliver nodded once.

“It is, yeah.”

“You and Barry close?” Oliver asked, waiting to talk about Barry.

“The closest. Probably closer than me and my sister. We’re competitive with each other but it's all for show.” he grinned.

“Reminds me of me and my younger sister.” To Oliver, Wally seemed very relaxed about the situation. Oliver wondered if this was just his personality or if how he was trying to deal the station.

“What exactly happened to him?”

“He was in his lab when the particle accelerator exploded, and then he got struck by lightning. They stabilized him for now … but it was pretty bad at first. My dad and I had to practically drag Iris away from his bedside. She's the one who found him and called 911.”  He kept his eyes on Oliver and away from Barry.

“My sister was in a coma for a while,” Oliver offered lamely. “I'm sure Barry can pull through.” He smiled sadly, hoping his words were some degree of useful.

“That's what I've been saying.” He grinned at Oliver.

“How is he doing today?” Iris asked, coming into view.

“He’s still the same,” Wally replied.

“Oh, Oliver.” She looked at him, surprised.

“Mrs. Thawne, I hope I'm not intruding.”

“No, not at all. I'm just surprised, I'm sorry,” She gave him a sad smile. “You're more than welcome. Barry likes you a lot.” She crossed the room to Barry’s bedside and took his hand.

“From my time with Barry, I feel like he could like anyone.” he laughed softly.

“You would be correct,” She sat down and rested a hand on Barry’s.

Oliver stayed for a while, hanging towards the back. He just watched Barry and socialised with the Wests.

“So, he's always been a science junkie?” Oliver asked after Wally told a very funny story about a vinegar and baking soda volcano that got a little out of hand when he was a kid.

“His father is a doctor and always encouraged Barry scientifically,” Iris explained. “Or he was …”

Oliver nodded once. “He and his dad were close?”

“Yes, his mother too.” Iris nodded.

“That’s nice. I have some work to take care of. I'm going down to Sun City soon,” he pulled out a card and scribbled his number on the back of it. “Could either of you let me know if his condition changes?”

A pale hand appeared and whisked the card from Oliver. “I can do that,” Eddie had appeared in the room. Oliver repressed an annoyed sigh. He wanted Barry’s family to come to trust him so he just smiled and nodded.

“Thank you, detective,” He turned to Barry. He took in the sight of him on the ventilator for a few seconds before he gave one of Barry’s free hands a gentle squeeze. “I'm heading out, Barr. It was good to see you.” With that, he left.

* * *

William watched Roy assist Thea in manoeuvring her way into the front door. After a moment he moved to help Roy hold it open.

“Thanks, little man,” Said Roy with a smile.

“I'm eleven.” He crossed his arms.

“Thanks … big guy …?” Said Roy, grasping at straws really, he was less versed in interacting with children than Oliver was.

Thea made her way through the front door and Roy shut it behind her. “Ollie?” she called.

Oliver appeared in the room, pulling himself away from packing. “Thank you so much for coming,” he hugged Thea briefly before letting her go into the living room to sit down.

“Always happy to help with my favourite nephew!” she grinned at him from the sofa. “Hi William,” She waved.

"I'm your only nephew."

 _That we know of_. Thea thought to herself a little darkly.

“Who's he?” William pointed directly at Roy, currently having no concern for formalities.

“Uh-- This is Roy,” said Oliver.

“He's kind of like your uncle,” Thea said quickly, though neither Roy or Oliver seemed excited about that label.

Roy swallowed thickly. “Yeah … sort of your uncle. You can call me whatever you want though.” He pressed almost urgently.

 

A few minutes later, Oliver was putting a plain green sweater into his suitcase when he noticed Thea standing in the doorway. He glanced up at her and registered that she was watching him very closely as he tried to move quickly in the dark room. He grabbed another pair of underwear and tossed them haphazardly into the bag. He still felt his eyes on her when he moved to add another shirt. “Yes?” he pressed.

“I was just wondering if you wanted to talk before you leave,” she came and sat down on the bed next to his suitcase with only slight difficulty, looking up at her brother.

“About?”

“Anything. You just don't seem happy,” She spoke bluntly, because that's how she knew to talk to Oliver.

“Well, my sister and I are orphans, and that's half my fault. My son watched his mother be murdered, and he was tortured, that one was completely my fault,” he spoke in a level tone. “So, I'm sorry that I'm not in the mood to put on a smiling face.”

“Oliver, you need to stop blaming yourself for things.” Thea heaved a sigh and grabbed his hand, stopping him from rustling around in his bag. “Sit with me.”

“My flight leaves soon,” Oliver reminded her.

“Oliver Jonas.” She said firmly.

He gave in and sat down on her other side. “My friend Barry is in a coma. I just have a lot on my mind is all. His family doesn't really trust me besides his brother, but I have to keep him close, he knows too much about the Green Arrow. He found him _twice_.”

“The guy who helped you with William? The one Dig says is always around?”

Oliver nodded and clasped his hands together. “Yes, him.” Oliver wasn't sure if he liked where this conversation was going.

“Is he a friend or a _friend_?” Thea asked him a little cryptically.

“I don't know what you're trying to say, Speedy.”

“Oliver … I know,” She admitted. It was something she had kept quiet about, even after he returned from the island. “I’ve known for years and I love you.”

“You know what, exactly?”

“When I was sixteen, I went through your room and I found some … interesting magazines in a box under your bed … I threw them out so mom wouldn't see … but I know, Ollie.”

“You went through my stuff?”

"You're not going to distract me."

"It's not like that. You and Dig are getting weird ideas." Oliver looked down at his hands. He thought he was being honest, but when Thea called attention to it, he started to doubt himself.

“Okay. Well, you can always talk to me.”

“Right, well, I've got to go!” he stood and headed into the kitchen, where Roy and William were seated in the kitchen. Roy was trying to show William a few comic books but he appeared uninterested.

“Thanks for coming down, Roy,” he gave Roy a quick hug.

“No problem, Oliver. I'm happy to help out,” He nodded once.

“William, I'm going to tell you a secret about Roy, okay?” he smiled.

William nodded and Oliver felt guilty about leaving him, even if it was only for a few days. However, William had protested going to Sun City and Oliver didn't want to put stress on him by forcing him to go.

“Roy here is a bodyguard. A really strong one,” He carefully put a hand in his shoulder. “I promise you’re safe with them. Okay?”

William nodded again and Oliver smiled.

“Maybe he can teach you some martial arts?”

“I don't want to fight,” William said firmly.

“Okay, that's fine too, kiddo. Well, my flight leaves in an hour so I do have to get going.”

“Bye Oliver,” William replied and disappeared into the living room to play video games.

* * *

On the plane, Oliver pulled out his phone. He frowned when there was nothing. He had hoped to have heard _something_ from Detective Thawne. However, there was nothing.

“We’re going to take off soon, Mr. Queen,” said one of the attendants.

Oliver gave her a smile and a curt nod before he shut off his phone for the flight.

“Oliver?” The CEO of Knight Industries was seated across the way from him. He would have to greet her, of course. He tried to remember what little he knew about it. She had a son around Barry’s age. He racked his brain as different names floated through until he remembered the boy’s name.

He made small talk with her as well as David Lased, head of some company in Sun City that Oliver couldn't remember the name of. He was glad when the plane landed a few hours later.

He stepped out of the plane. He took his only suitcase as a carry on so he was able to get right into the car that was waiting for him. When he settled into the back he turned his cell phone back on.

His phone started to buzz with a few texts from Thea.

 **Thea:** _Sorry for dropping that bomb on you before you left. It just felt like the right time. I don't know why you never told me._

 **Thea:** _I got Will to eat some cookies._

 **Thea:** _[Thea sent a photo of William seated beside Roy on the sofa. Both boys were focused intently on whatever video game they were playing] Roy managed to figure out that Will LOVES Alien Fight XIV. Roy is losing._

 **Oliver:** _Great! Thanks, Thea, I owe you and Roy one._

Oliver sighed when the car pulled up to his hotel. He was tired. He made his way to the front desk, getting his room key and going up to his room.

He sat down on the bed and rubbed his face. His phone started to ring. A Central City number Oliver didn't recognise showed on the screen. He answered it quickly. “Oliver Queen.”

“Hi, Oliver. This is Eddie Thawne, Barry’s brother-in-law.”

Oliver sat up a little straighter. “Yes, thanks for calling. How is Barry?”

“His condition is the same. Doctors say they're not sure why he isn't waking up. I'll keep you updated.”

“Yes, thank you. I'll come visit again soon.”

They both hung up and Oliver sighed. He couldn't let Barry’s condition distract him from his work.

 

After trying (and failing) to get some sleep that night, the next morning he went straight into the new building. It was pretty empty, as it was the last one to be set up, things were still being ordered.

“Good Morning, Mr. Queen.” a dark-haired receptionist smiled.

“Good morning.” He nodded. “Could you tell Richard I'm here?” He requested.

“Of course.” He pressed a button on the phone. “Mr. Grayson, Oliver Queen is here to see you.”

“Oh great!” he grinned. “I'll be right down! Oliver! Don't move! I want to give you the grand tour!”

Oliver rolled his eyes and leaned against the front desk. In hindsight, he knew asking for Nightwing’s help would probably be a mistake. When Dick arrived he composed himself and smiled, shaking his hand. “Thanks, Richard. I owe you one. Should we talk upstairs?”

“Absolutely! You'll love it!” He grinned and lead them into the elevator. “So, Oliver-- It's _so_ weird not calling you the Green Arrow.”

“Why is the inside of the elevator … blue?” Oliver asked when he noticed that the elevator had blue accents, some of the buttons were a dark blue and the box around the screen indicating what floor they were on was a light blue.

“I thought it would look better this way!” The elevator doors opened and they stepped out into a hallway … that was also blue. A light eggshell blue.

“Dick,” Oliver began, dropping formalities now that they were away from prying eyes. “How much of my building is blue?”

“Most of the second floor!”

“All you had to do was sign papers that were handed to you, and say ‘yes’ when asked if they could move forward with construction plans. How did _this_ \--” he gestured to the office they entered, which was the same shade of blue that was on Dick's Nightwing costume. “Happen?” It offended Oliver's eyes.

“Well, I got here and everything was boring and grey. Blue is a better colour.” He was sporting a cocky smirk like he was proud of himself.

Oliver pinched his nose between his forefinger and thumb. “Okay, you know what? It doesn't matter. I'm just here to pick up the paperwork and be seen here.”

Dick reached into the desk and pulled out a small stack of papers, passing them to Oliver easily. He then crossed his arms and leaned back against the wall.

“I hope you didn't act like this the whole time you were here,” Oliver glanced at him out of the corner of his eye as he read over the paperwork.

“What's wrong with how I act?” Dick asked, only somewhat bothered by the comment.

“Nothing.”

* * *

Back at the hotel room that evening, Oliver was arguing on the phone with Bruce Wayne. “Dick painted half the building blue!” Oliver complained, annoyance clear in his voice.

“Why are you complaining to me? I'm retired. I'm not responsible for him anymore, ” Bruce’s voice came from the other end of the phone.

“You said he knew how to be professorial!”

“... I said he could do that job you asked,” Bruce clarified, albeit a bit cryptically.

Oliver’s phone beeped and he saw that he had an incoming call from Eddie. “Bruce? You know what? Thanks. I have to go, you have a good night.” he clicked over to Eddie’s call. “Hello?”

“Hey, Oliver, do you have a minute? It's about Barry.” Oliver could tell by his tone that he sounded anxious but was trying to hide it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking around for this chapter! So, I'm going out of town to deal with some stuff and see some old friends as of 9/14/2018.(sorry tmi) I won't have a lot of time to write so I'll try to have two chapters to post back to back next time I update. (:


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver's past causes a rift between him and his son while he and Barry's loved ones struggle to deal with the possibility that Barry may not survive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fist off! I know I said I was going to try to post two back to back, but now I've gone even longer than I meant to without updating. So I'm going to update now and try to have another update in a week or two. Thanks for all the love so far!
> 
> So, I'm going to be honest. I went really heavily back and forth on whether or not Wally would be involved in drag racing because techially in this fic things are different and he was raised by Joe. I hope I made the right choice.

Oliver’s phone beeped and he saw that he had an incoming call from Eddie. “Bruce? You know what? Thanks. I have to go, you have a good night.” he clicked over to Eddie’s call. “Hello?”

“Hey, Oliver, do you have a minute? It's about Barry.” Oliver could tell by his tone that he sounded anxious but was trying to hide it,

“Yes, I have time.”

“Daddy, why is mommy crying?” The boy Oliver could hear in the background asked.

Oliver held his breath, trying to pretend he hadn't heard that voice. He closed his eyes tightly 

Eddie held the phone away from his face slightly. “It’s okay, E.J. Why don’t you go upstairs and sleep with mommy and me tonight.” He returned to his call with Oliver. “Last night Barry took a bad turn. His heart stopped, for a little while and they almost called it. It happened again this morning, and again in the afternoon.”

“Do you guys … need anything?” he asked. “Childcare so you can stay with Barry? I would be more than happy to take care of anything he or your family needs.”

“No, don't worry about that. I just wanted you to know what was going on with Barry.”

“Thank you. I'll let you go, you have your hands full there.” He hung up the phone and put it on the charger, not realising the charger was not plugged into the wall. He laid down on the bed but didn't sleep much that night.

* * *

That evening back in Central City there was a knock on Cisco’s door. He sighed and got up, heading to answer it. 

At the door stood Caitlin, her eyes puffy and red. “I-I’m sorry,” She started, sniffing. “Can I stay here for a bit? I can't go back to my apartment again.”

“Come in,” Cisco urged, pulling her into a tight hug.

She held onto Cisco tightly, laying her head on his shoulder.

He stroked her hair gently as guilt washed over him. “Its okay, don't apologise.” He said gently. He felt responsible for this. He locked Ronnie in the pipeline.

“I just can't go back there.”

“Stay here as long as you need to.” He stepped back inside the apartment and went to the hall closet, pulling out some blankets and a pillow so he could make himself a bed on the sofa. “You can have my bed.” he offered.

“I don't want to take your bed--” 

“Take the bed,” Cisco insisted.

Caitlin sighed and headed over to the bed, sitting down and dropping her head into her hands. “We just moved in together. I can't look at his stuff.”

Cisco came and sat down beside her, wrapping an arm tightly around her. “Stay here as long as you need, and when you're ready we’ll figure out what to do with his stuff. Okay?”

* * *

The following afternoon, Roy was in the kitchen making a sandwich for William. He pulled out his phone and texted Thea.

**Roy:** _Made Will a sandwich. How many times do I have to cut it up?_

Thea was laying down in the guest room, trying to rest. She felt annoyed. She thought she had explained this to Roy already, but apparently he didn't get it.

**Thea:** _What do you mean??_

 **Roy:** _Don't you have to cut up food for kids so they don't choke?_

 **Thea:** _Roy my nephew 11 years old._

**Roy:** _ So how many? _

**Thea:** _Literally all you need to do is ask if he wants the crusts cut off._

 **Roy:** _He said no. What now?_

**Thea:** _ PLEASE BABE JUST LET ME SLEEP FOR FIFTEEN MINUTES. _

“I'm home!” Oliver called, heading into the kitchen

“Thank god, Thea is laying down how do I feed this kid?” Roy asked.

Oliver made direct eye contact with Roy, picked up the plate and handed it to William. “Here you go, kiddo.” He crossed his arms after William took the plate. “It's that easy. He's not four.” Oliver rolled his eyes. “Did you guys have fun?”

“William and I played a lot of video games,” Roy replied. “He kicked my ass.”

“Great,” Oliver looked at William who didn't seem up to talking. “Did you have fun?” He asked with a smile.

William nodded once. “Can I go to bed?”

“It's the middle of the afternoon, buddy,” Oliver pointed out, crossing his arms.

“Please? I'm tired.”

“Okay,” He nodded once. “But you can always talk to me.” He offered lamely. “I have to go out, but Roy can call me if you need anything.”

William disappeared up the stairs and Oliver sighed. He had been hoping William would open to him at some point. It had only been a few months but he hoped he could get something out of him. He had no idea what he was doing wrong or more importantly what Barry and Thea were doing right.

“Did he say anything to you?” Oliver asked Roy as he started to clean up the kitchen.

“Barely,” Roy answered. “He wouldn't speak when I was alone with him.”

Oliver nodded. “You know where the credit card is if he wants pizza or something later. Tell Thea I got in, I don't want to text her while she's sleeping you know how she gets.”

“Oh, believe me,  _ I know _ .” Roy raised both his eyebrows slightly and nodded once.

“Thanks, Roy. I really owe you one.”

* * *

Oliver headed into the hospital room and saw Iris seated in one of the chairs. “Should I come back?” He asked, again not wanting to intrude on the family’s time with Barry.

“Oh-- no,” Iris shook her head and glanced up at Oliver. “Hi, Oliver. They're moving Barry to S.T.A.R. Labs soon, Dr. Wells says he knows how to help Barry.” She informed him.

“Thanks for letting me know, I hope they can help him.” He stuffed his hands into his pockets and leaned in the doorway for a few minutes.

When Iris left, needing to get home to her kids, Oliver pulled up a seat. “Hey, Barry. It's Oliver,” he placed a hand on Barry’s, running his thumb over it. “I came by when I heard you weren't doing so well. William has been asking about you … You really had a way with him.” He took a deep breath and squeezed his hand gently. “It seems everyone does but me.”

Oliver could imagine Barry snorting at that, before grinning with a quick “You’ll get it!” The thought tugged at him a bit sadly.

The room was quite apart from Oliver’s voice. He spoke to Barry like he spoke to Thea when she was in a coma. Honestly and without holding back. Barry would hopefully know Oliver was there, but not remember any of it. It was a while before he left. He found himself wondering if three months was too short of a time for him to feel a close friendship to Barry. He grumpily pushed that thought aside, he didn't have time for  it .

When he returned home, William was seated at the kitchen table, eating some leftover chicken from a few nights previously.

“Hey, William.” Oliver smiled. “How was your weekend with Thea and Roy?”

“It was okay. I like Aunt Thea.” He replied, playing with his hands but avoiding Oliver's eyes.

“That's great.” Oliver smiled at him. He had never called Thea his aunt before. “I know she had a great time with you too. She texted me the whole time.”

* * *

When Iris arrived home, E.J. ran up and threw his arms around her legs. She knelt down and pulled him tightly into her arms. “My beautiful boy,” Gently, she cradled the back of his head. “Mommy loves you so much.” She kissed his forehead.

“What's wrong, mommy?” E.J. could sense the tension and it was upsetting for him. Even if he didn't really understand what was going on.

“We’re going to have a big boy, talk okay?”

“Okay.”

They went upstairs and sat on Iris and Eddie’s bed.

“Come here, E.J.,” She sat up against the headboard and opened her arms to her son.

E.J. climbed onto her lap and into her arms.

Iris wrapped her arms around him tightly. “Listen, sweetie. When Daddy finishes putting Esther down for the night we’re going to talk about Uncle Barry, okay?”

“Is he still sick?”

“Yes, baby.”

After a few minutes passed Eddie entered the room and in a t-shirt and sweatpants. “Hey buddy-- are we doing this now?” He looked to Iris.

“Yeah,” Iris nodded. “We have to.”

“Alright.” Eddie got into bed next to them and kissed Iris on the cheek and E.J. on the head.

“E.J., Uncle Barry got hurt. That's what made him sick. He got hurt really bad-- his body had to shut down a little so he could heal.”

“What does that mean?” E.J. frowned and looked at Eddie.

“His heart is still beating. He’s alive and he loves you very much, but he can't talk right now or move. His body is trying to make itself better.” Eddie contributed.

“When will he come see us again?”

“We don't know.” Iris kissed the top of his head. “We can go see if you want to, but it will look like he's sleeping and he has a machine to help him breathe so it might be scary.”

* * *

Roy went back to Star City to assist Diggle but Thea stayed behind to spend some time with her brother and nephew. Oliver stood in the kitchen, shuffling around in the fridge and Thea was seated at the island, picking at a bowl of ice cream. Her eyes, however, were locked in her brother’s back,

“Thea,” Oliver began, pulling a plate of leftover pizza from the fridge and placing it on the table. “I can feel your eyes on my back.”

“Are we going to talk about …” She trialled off.

“You did a really good job of not talking about it for the last few years. So why start now?” He took a bite of cold pizza.

“I hope I said this before but ... I love you regardless.”

“I know.”

“Do you love yourself?” She reached over and gave his arm a gentle squeeze.

“I don't know what loving myself feels like anymore but that has nothing to do with my sexuality.”

“Then why are you trying so hard to hide who you are? It's okay if you like men, Ollie.” She finished her bowl and placed it in the dishwasher.

“I don't have time for personal relationships anymore so it doesn't matter.” That was what he had been telling himself for the last several years. He didn't want to think about it.

“Did Laurel know?” Thea asked softly after a minute.

“Laurel was the only woman I ever _really_ loved. I think she knew that.”

“Who’s Laurel?”asked William, suddenly appearing in the room.

Oliver turned to face him and smiled a little. “Laurel is a girlfriend I had in high school.”

“You didn’t only date my mom?” He asked curiously.

“No,” Oliver shook his head. “I had a couple girlfriends before I met your mother.”

“How many?”

“A few.”

“Ok,” William replied and went into the living room to play video games.

“If you don't feel any shame about it, then why won't you say it?” Thea crossed her arms, speaking a little more quietly.

“Say what?” He shoved a piece of pizza crust into his mouth. He didn't want to talk about this, not with Thea anyways. He had once thought about talking about it with Barry but had decided against it.

“That you like guys.”

“I'm not talking about this anymore.”

“Fine,” she sighed and ran a hand through her hair. “I just don't want you bottling things up, that's how you explode.”

* * *

Caitlin had been mentally preparing herself for this day for about a week. Today they were moving Barry. She headed into Central City Hospital and took very little time to locate him and his family.

“Caitlin,” Iris smiled a little, extremely relieved to see a familiar face. Until today, the doctors rushing around Barry had been strangers.

Caitlin stepped forward and gave Iris a tight hug. She was barely keeping it together herself. She felt like she had lost everything. Her career, one of her best friends, her boyfriend.

Iris kissed her cheek. “How are you doing? I haven't been able to really get a hold of you.”

“I'm sorry,” She smiled weakly. “Ronnie got hit with the blast too.”

“Is he comatose?” Iris asked, touching her arm.

“No,” Her voice was barely a whisper. “He sealed himself inside of it to protect us.”

“Oh my god,” Iris hugged her again. “I'm so sorry.”

Soon Dr. Wells arrived and after speaking with the family about the plans for his care he began to direct Barry’s move. His family looking on a little anxiously.

“I promise we’ll help him.” Caitlin smiled a little though, she wasn't sure what they could really do.

* * *

A few days passed and Oliver was trying his best to not wait by the phone. He continued trying to connect with his son, refusing to accept defeat. He was on his way to the office when he took a detour.

Caitlin stood in the ally, a mugger trying to get her bag. The only part of her that could move were her hands, but only because they were trembling violently.

Oliver stepped in and quickly knocked away the man’s weapon. Caitlin shrieked and flinched as Oliver subdued him. He hadn't exactly planned on taking down a mugger, but he couldn't just walk away either.

“Are you alright?” He gave the unknown woman a once-over.

“Y-yes, thank you …” Caitlin took a moment to collect herself.

“I'm Oliver, where were you headed?” He stuffed his hands into his pockets. He could be a little late to work.

“Caitlin … I'm just heading to the lab that's up here. It's only a few more blocks,” she smiled a little.

“I can walk with you.”

“I wouldn't want to put you out.”

“I'm sure my assistant can wait for me a bit.”

The two walked in almost complete silence until they reached S.T.A.R. Labs. Oliver stopped and stared at the sealed off gate. “Are you Doctor Snow?” he asked suddenly, though it seemed highly plausible that he knew the answer.

“Yes …” Caitlin said hesitantly.

“Barry talked about you all the time.” He looked at Caitlin over again as he spoke.

“You know Bar-- Oliver Queen?” 

“He helped me with some business stuff,” Oliver explained, stuffing his hands into his pockets. “Can I see him?”

“Iris put your name on the list when Detective West was distracted. So, you are more than welcome to come in.”

A few minutes passed before Caitlin and Oliver entered. “Cisco Ramon?” Oliver guessed.

“Yup.” He nodded.

Oliver extended a hand. “Oliver Queen. Barry says you have the best technological mind he's ever seen.”

“He would say that,” Cisco stood and made an excuse to leave. 

Oliver grabbed a seat on the side opposite to the side Cisco had been sitting on. “Hey, Barr, it's Oliver. I found Caitlin on the way here.” He placed a hand on Barry’s gently.

“What did he say about me?” Caitlin asked softly, taking Cisco’s seat on the other side of him.

“He said you and Iris were the most beautiful women he knew inside and out. When I pointed out that you were the only women he knew, he was very offended.” Oliver laughed a little. “He also said you were a brilliant Bioengineer.”

“I don't know if Barry had a bad thing to say about anyone in his life.” She smiled and brushed Barry’s hair back gently.

“Me neither. Did he ever say anything to you about me?” Oliver asked after a moment.

“He didn't say much. When I asked him what you were like he said what you lacked in loquaciousness you made up for with good intentions.”

"I think that's the most polite way anyone has ever dragged me for my poor communication skills.” Oliver laughed and stood after a few minutes.

“I think he meant well.” She squeezed Barry’s hand.

“I certain he did too.”

* * *

“Oliver?”

Oliver glanced up from his desk to see William standing in front of him, eyes cast downwards. “Yeah, buddy?”

"Can I go see Mr. Allen at the laboratory?”

Oliver frowned a little, unsure of what to say. He didn't want to upset William but he also didn't want to tell him ‘ _ no _ ’. “Do you understand that he's in a coma?” He asked carefully.

“I read about comas when you told me Thea was in one. I understand,” William nodded and he crossed his arms. “I understand what's going on. I'm going to be back in middle school soon, I can understand things.”

“Are you going to be upset to see him like that?” Oliver asked.

“No. He's alive and I understand that.”

“Then I'll ask Dr. Snow,” Oliver smiled a little, hoping he had handled the situation well enough. He was still navigating William, but he had come to find he didn't respond to Oliver being overly cautious with him.

Oliver pulled out his phone and dialled Caitlin’s number.

On the other side of the city, Caitlin was laying on Cisco’s sofa. She heard her phone start to ring but she couldn't find any real motivation to answer it. She had locked herself up. With Ronnie gone and Barry’s fate uncertain she felt lost. It took all of her energy to sit up and glance at the caller ID.

She frowned when she saw Oliver’s name on the screen. She answered it. “Hello, Dr. Caitlin Snow speaking.”

“Hello, Dr. Snow. This is Oliver Queen, do you have a moment to discuss Barry?”

“Of course, though there is only so much information I'm allowed to give you directly,” Caitlin began. “Legally anyways.”

“Barry was helping me out with my son.”

“He mentioned that vaguely,” Caitlin nodded to herself, recalling him bringing it up at one point.

“Anyways, I've explained the situation to my son. He's asking if he can see Barry. He's middle school age, and I don't think he would want to stay long. He gets anxious in new places.”

“I would have to ask Detective West, he's currently trying to restrict your access to Barry as well ... but Iris is fighting him on it.”

“Oh. Okay, well thank you for your time. Have a good rest of your day.” He hung up the phone.

“Can we go?” William asked.

“I don't know, buddy. Barry’s foster dad doesn't like me, so I'm not sure if he’ll say you can go.”

“Why doesn't he like you?” 

Oliver rubbed his hands together, wishing he could stall. “You know how I told you I wasn't a good person when I was young? Well, Barry’s foster dad knew me when I was like that. So he doesn't think very highly of me.”

“So it's your fault I can't see Mr. Allen?”

“Yes, I'm sorry.”

“I hate you,” said William before turning around and heading out of the office. 

Oliver rose from his seat and followed him, watching William go to his room and shut the door. He heard the click of the door locking and sighed heavily. Oliver reached the door and knocked. “I didn't know you liked Mr. Allen that much.” There was no response. “William, please talk to me.”

“Mr. Allen is my friend.”

“He was my friend too, buddy.”

“I don't want him to die.”

“I don't want him to die, either.”

William stopped replying after that.

“William, I'm going to talk to Mr. Allen’s brother-in-law and see how I can fix this.”

* * *

A few weeks later, Oliver got a call from Eddie. “Detective?” He answered. 

“Oliver, hey. So listen. We’re all getting together at Anthony’s. It's that little sit down place on 83rd. We’re all getting together to talk about Barry. I know it's last minute but we're meeting at five p.m.”

“ _ All _ ?” Oliver repeated.

“Yes, the family … to make sure we’re all on the same page about Barry.”

“I … I guess I'll be there.” He sighed and rubbed his face. He wasn't looking forward to being in the same room as Detective West, but he wanted to make a good impression.  
  


When Oliver arrived at the restaurant, there were several people in the large back booth. A few he didn't recognise. “Thank you for inviting me.”

“What's he doing here?” Joe asked, his eyes easily falling on Oliver. The only one he felt didn't belong.

“Eddie and Iris invited me, Detective.” Oliver offered a hand but it was rejected.

Caitlin crossed the way and to his surprise, hugged him. He returned the hug a bit awkwardly before shaking hands with Cisco.

“Good to see you,” he smiled.

“Who is this?” an older woman with cropped short hair asked.

“Aren't you Oliver Queen? The CEO?” Another woman asked, she was light skinned with straight hair pushed back with a yellow headband. She looked to be closer to Caitlin’s age than the previous woman who spoke.

Oliver extended a hand. “Yes, I'm Oliver Queen.”

She shook his hand, as did the older woman. The younger woman introduced herself as an old college friend of Barry’s. The first woman was introduced as Joe’s sister Sarah.

“Thank you for inviting me.” Oliver spoke to Eddie now.

“It's not a problem. I think we should all be sticking together right now, and kept on the same page.” He started to set Esther into a booster seat. “Oh, Oliver, this is my mother, Edna.” 

“It's a pleasure.” Oliver nodded to Eddie’s mother, shaking her hand as well. “Hi Esther,” Oliver waved to her and she waved back but didn't say anything. Which Oliver had been told to expect. Barry could talk for hours about his niece and nephews, and Oliver had always been happy to let him.

“Sorry, she's shy.”

“That's alright. My son is quiet as well.”

“How is William? He’s not joining us?” Eddie set Esther into a high chair as he spoke and strapped her in.

“William is school supply shopping with his Aunt Thea and her boyfriend.” He smiled.

“Are we keeping you from that?”

“No,” he shook his head. “William isn't exactly pleased with me--”

Iris appeared and kissed Eddie on the cheek. “Hey everyone,” she tickled Esther’s arm. “Hi, baby.” 

“Iris, good to see you again.” Oliver smiled.

It wasn't very long before they fell into telling their favourite stories about Barry.

“Eddie, you actually don't know this one!” Iris laughed, Esther now seated in her lap. “So, about a year after Eddie and I got married, Barry and I were out getting drinks. This guy comes up to us-- tall and handsome and he says ‘ _ can I buy you a drink _ ?’ and Barry is getting ready to back me up when I reject him. I politely declined. However, that's what that's what he says that he was talking to Barry.” Iris passed Esther a  french fry. “So, now Barry has no plan. He accepts. I tell him to go and have fun. The two go off and things are going really well. Then suddenly Barry returns, and starts talking about how he and that guy are way too different.”

“Is this the Astrology guy?” Eddie asked suddenly, interrupting her.

“Oh, so you do know this one?” She laughed. “So Barry looks at me and says ‘ _ He asked me for my sign to determine if we’re compatible, then said he's a Virgo. I will not base an entire date on a pseudoscience _ .’ and I look at him and say ‘ _ Barry, you own a cast of Bigfoot's footprint and last weekend you were literally in Crowhaven looking for a pack of vampires lords or whatever, but a guy being a Virgo is going to scare you off _ ?’”

“Did he correct you that vampires have covens or clans, not packs?” Oliver laughed softly.

“He did!”

“I accidentally called the Loch Ness monster a sea serpent and I got educated very quickly.” Oliver took a sip of his soda.

“How did you meet Barry?” Barry’s college friend asked.

“Oh,” Oliver smiled. “Well, I have a twelve year old son named William. I was buying books for him. I actually mistook him for an employee because he was neck deep in science books.” Oliver admitted albeit a little sheepishly.

“His natural habitat,” Sarah chimed in. “I swear every time I visited that boy had his nose in a book.”

“So, tell me about your son! I didn't know you had a son.” Iris smiled at Oliver. They were waiting for Wally to arrive, so they had been sidetracked a bit.

“Neither did I,” Oliver admitted out pulled out his phone and handed it over to her after pulling up a photo of William and Thea together. “William, he's almost twelve.”

“You didn’t? Handsome young man you've got there. He looks like you!” She smiled and showed Eddie. “Barry mentioned he only moved in with you recently but I didn't know anything else.”

“He's got your eyes,” Eddie commented.

His mother took the phone from him. “He does! What a cutie!”

“Let me see!” Sarah chimed in.

“He looks like his mother,” Oliver replied. “I was a bit reckless in my youth … I just met more recently, but he's my life now.”

“That's good. I'm glad you found him.” Iris had said.

Sarah, who was beside Oliver as a barrier between him and Joe, patted his arm. No one seemed to question very far into how he knew Barry. He almost felt jealous of Barry’s family.

“Actually, when I was getting custody of William, there were some road bumps. My son was in the hospital after his mother passed, and my name wasn't on the birth certificate. His estranged grandparents wanted custody as well … Barry ran a paternity test so that he could come home with me.”

“I bet Barry rushed right in,” Sarah smiled and laughed softly.

“Actually, he did. We were discussing the issue and Barry immediately came up with the solution. He nearly dragged me into his lab.” Oliver smiled and crossed his arms a bit.

Finally, Wally arrived with his girlfriend Linda, they sat on Joe’s other side. “Oliver!” he grinned, his son on his lap.

“Hey, Wally. That's the infamous Sam?” he laughed and waved to the baby who waved back.

“Yup! Oh, Oliver, this is Linda.” He introduced his girlfriend.

“Great to meet you.”

“Okay,” Joe cleared his throat. “Everyone is here. Time to talk about Barry, I'll need Caitlin to help me out here.”

“Oh! Right. So, I have some print outs of Barry’s vitals if anyone wants to look at them, I know Eddie mentioned that Mrs. Thawne had a medical background … anyways. Barry’s vitals are fantastic and his brain activity is completely normal.”

“What does that mean?” E.J. asked, climbing over Cisco’s lap to sit with Caitlin.

“It means he's still thinking, and he's alive.” Caitlin smiled softly and placed an arm around the boy who had crawled into her lap. “He's okay.” she pointed to a graph in her hands. "Those are Barry's thoughts. So he's okay. He's he's just taking his time. He'll wake up when he's ready."

“So, because Barry is still with us," Joe took over again. "We will be continuing life support as long as necessary and you're all welcome to come in and visit with him. I’ll be updating the visitor list with Caitlin this week.”

Oliver took some time to get to know Barry’s family. There was something nice about getting to know the people who essentially made Barry into who he is as a person, or at least contributed to that.

When everyone started to leave Oliver got Joe’s attention. “Detective, I was wondering I could possibly bring William to see Barry? I think he's having a hard time processing the situation. He's very broken up about it.”

“Fine,” Joe sighed. He didn't want to fight with Iris about it later. “but I've got my eye on you, Mr. Queen.”

* * *

Iris sat up at the kitchen table, her cell phone in front of her. It was half past three in the morning but she couldn't sleep. Barry had been comatose for four months now and they had given up hope of Barry waking up again. Four months had passed, but for Iris, it felt like a lifetime.

“Hey,” said Eddie softly as he came into view. “Can't sleep?”

“No,” she flipped passed another page in her magazine.

“Thinking about Barry?” his voice was low and gentle.

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry,” his lips found a spot on the top of her head. “I wish I had all the right answers, baby.”

Iris found herself curling into his arms, more than willing to melt into her husband. She usually felt so in control of her life. 

She always knew what to do. She always knew how to help her brothers when they needed it. The older one was quirky, gay, and had his traumas. He had always had trouble finding his place. When he had nightmares, she was there to assure him it was over. When he got picked on in school, she would put other kids in their place. When he got hurt, she was right there with him the days following with ice packs and what she hoped were soothing words.   
  
The younger one, on the other hand, was always getting into trouble from his gambling problem. She learned quickly how to clean up his messes. She knew how to keep secrets from their dad, and always found him a way out or a loophole. When he got into a debt from his drag racing, she used her first paycheck from Jitters to bail him out without her father finding out.   
  
She couldn't do any of that now. This wasn't something that could be helped with encouraging words or a payout. She just had to sit by the phone and hope for a miracle.

“I can't fix this.”

“No one is asking you too, Iris. None of us can,” Eddie tightened his arms around her. “Come to bed, try to get some sleep.”

“I'm waiting for S.T.A.R. Labs to call,” Iris shook her head.

“Iris. It's my turn to be stubborn. We’re going to bed.”

Iris stayed unmoving for a moment before she stood, grabbing her phone and starting to walk up the stairs. She made her way into their bedroom and sat on the bed.

Eddie joined her. He gently pushed her hair to one side to take off her necklace and set it on the end table. He pressed a soft kiss to the back of her neck where the clasp once laid against her skin. “Caitlin will call us if anything changes. You need to rest.” He tried to comfort her as much as one could. The station wasn't good. Even Eddie was worried at this point.

Eddie laid back on the bed and waited to see what Iris would do. Much to his surprise, after wrapping her hair, she moved into his arms. She faced away from him. Eddie knew it was to keep him from seeing her tears. His arms slid around her. There wasn’t much else he could do. His lips found the back of her neck again with a soft kiss. He knew she didn't want words.  “I love you,” but in the end, he couldn't go to bed without saying anything. “We’re all in this together, okay? You don't have to shoulder everything on your own. I love Barry too, just as much as you do.” He pressed a kiss to her shoulder over her shirt. “It's going to be alright. He'll come back to us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen ... that Oblivion/Elder Scrolls reference was a marriage proposal, if you got it I am your husband now. Let's go play the Shivering Isles questline.


	6. Chapter 6

Even six months after the accident; Cisco still couldn't sleep, the guilt ripping him apart at his very core. He spent his nights awake on the sofa, waiting for morning, where he would occasionally doze off at his desk. In the morning, he sat by Barry’s bedside. “Morning, Barr. So, I was thinking; I wonder how much trouble I would get it with Cait if I drew a moustache on your face?” He of course always greeted Barry with nonsense. “Trying to decide if she would let me keep my life."

It was still early in the day so he was the first to arrive. He tried to ignore things with jokes, some days were better than others. He had left Caitlin at his apartment, still asleep, something she struggled with as well. With Ronnie gone and Barry comatose, she was cold again, locking her feelings inside.

“You know, Barr--” he was cut off.

“Mr Ramon,” came a voice from the entrance of the cortex as Dr Wells steered himself inside. “You're here early.”

“Dr Wells,” Cisco wiped his eyes quickly as Wells came to sit beside him. “I know we were repairing the cell today sorry--” he was cut off by Harrison.

“Barry was your friend too, wasn't he, Mr Ramon?”

“Yeah. The best, actually.” Cisco gave a quick laugh. “He's just one of those people you can't help but love.”

“The lab is closed. Spend time with your friend and don't apologise.” He replied before leaving to return to his office.

Waited until he was gone and squeezed Barry’s hand tightly. “Come on, man. We need you here. Caitlin can't lose you too, she's been through enough.” His head snapped up when he heard footsteps.

“Are we interrupting?” Oliver asked upon seeing Cisco was already with Barry.

“No,” Cisco stood. “Barry usually texts the group chat good morning. So I just come in here and say good morning you know--,” He pushed his small table out of the way. “I'm heading back to my workshop now you and your son can-- I’m gone.”

Oliver entered the cortex with William by his side. He wanted to understand why seeing Barry was so important to him. He hadn't been able to get through to him. “If you want privacy while you talk to Barry, that's okay, you just have to ask.”

William approached Barry’s bedside and sat down. He had to scoot the chair closer to the bed. “Hi, Mr Allen. It's William.” his tone was casual and he crossed his legs on the chair after a moment. “I had Oliver bring me here.” He smiled and placed one hand on Barry’s arm. “I get to go back to school soon.” He just continued talking about what had happened over the last few months.

Oliver hung off to the side, carefully listening to the conversation.

After a few more minutes William rose from his seat. “Bye, Mr Allen. I don't know if I'll be able to come back before you're awake again.” He looked to Oliver. “Are you ready to go, dad? Or do you want to talk to Barry first?”

Oliver paused, William had never called him that until now. He smiled in return though. He didn't want William to think he wasn't happy about it. He walked to Barry’s bedside and patted one of Barry’s hands with his own. “Hey Barry, it's Oliver. William and I are heading out now. Hang in there, buddy.” he turned to William. “Do you feel better now that you talked to him?”

William stepped forward and threw his arms around Oliver’s middle.

Oliver hugged William back. He was surprised, but not unwelcoming of the new development. “You okay, kiddo?” he gently rested a hand on the back of his head.

“I'm sorry I said that I hated you. I was scared that Mr Allen was going to die. He was my friend when I was hurt and I wanted to be his friend too.”

“Thank you for apologising. You can tell me when you feel scared.”

* * *

“William, this is Detective Thawne. Eddie, this is my son, William.”

“Hi, William!” said Eddie in a friendly tone as they got together at Big Belly Burger. He glanced at Oliver. “Iris got called into work on a big case, she's not sure if she'll be joining us or not.”

“Oh, well, I hope she gets the scoop,” he smiled and they headed over to table. It took exactly seven seconds for E.J. to spill his cup of apple juice on Esther.

“Great,” Eddie sighed. “It's okay, buddy.” he started to wipe down the table before lifting up Esther. “Uh, Oliver could you hold her for a second? I have to get more napkins.”

Oliver’s life flashed before his eyes but reached out and lifted up the girl, awkwardly holding her a little ways away from him. He couldn't say he held many babies in his life. Thea, sometimes when he was around ten or eleven years old but never unsupervised.

Eddie returned with more napkins and started to clean up the high chair.

“Gram-pa!” Esther wrapped one of her tiny hands tightly into Oliver's beard and tugged hard. Oliver didn't flinch but he laughed a little.

Oliver couldn't help but laugh a little. “Yeah, like your Grandpa,” he realised the girl probably hadn't seen another beard that long up close. She seemed to cling to the Wests and Barry.

“She doesn't talk a whole lot,” said Eddie as he finished wiping up.

“Barry mentioned that,” he nodded again.

“It bothers some people, but that's our girl,” he shrugged.

“I don't like talking either,” said William quietly.

Oliver gently placed a hand on his son's shoulder when Eddie took his daughter back. “and that's okay. You don't have to do anything you don't want to.”

“How old are you?” E.J. asked William.

“I'm twelve.”

“Wow that's like almost as old as daddy,” E.J. looked at him with wide eyes.

“E.J, I'm twenty-nine,” said Eddie.

“Wow, that's  _ way _ older than Grandpa Joe.”

Oliver chuckled and dropped his face into his hand slightly.

“I'm here now! The lead was a bust,” Iris swooped in with a bit of time to spare. “Sorry,” she kissed E.J. on the cheek.

“Honey,” said Eddie. “You should know that I'm older than Joe. E.J’s just told us.”

“Wow, babe. Your moisturizer game on point. Tell me your secrets!” she sat down with them.

* * *

Oliver came downstairs and started to make breakfast. William came down soon after him. “Morning, buddy. Are you excited for school today?”

“Yeah, I still have my place in my advanced classes.” he seemed to be genuinely looking forward to it.

Oliver felt a little nervous, not that this was ever something he would admit. He didn't want to shove William back into a crowded public school while he was still working through his trauma. “That's great,” he nodded. “Also, I talked to the school and they know that if you ask to call me they have to let you.”

“Thanks, dad,” he nodded and sat down. “but I'll be fine.”

“I got a slinky too, like you and Mr Allen talked about … maybe you can tell me what he taught you about it when you get home?” he said hopefully.

“Yeah, I didn't think you liked science.”

“I think I could like it if you taught me a little more.”

William nodded.

There was a knock on the door and Oliver got up to answer it. He repressed an eye roll when he saw Wally West. His lips formed a hard line for a split second. Wally had gotten a bit … Oliver took a moment to think of the right word. After a moment of thought, he settled on  _ clingy _ .

“Hey, Wally.” He put on his business face. “What's up?”

“I just wanted to see what you were up to. How's William?”

“He’s fine. He’s getting ready for his first day of seventh grade.”

“Fantastic.”

Oliver let him in and Wally seated himself on the sofa. It was a habit he had gotten into, which Oliver wasn't sure if he liked it or tolerated it. “Did you see the Gotham Rogues game?”

“Yeah, they got destroyed.” Oliver laughed and sat down in the chair beside the sofa

“You said you were working on something with my brother?” Wally asked after a few minutes.

“Not really. He helped me with the … he helped me get custody of William. That's all we really worked on together,” he looked at him sceptically, unsure of what Wally meant.

“What did you guys talk about so much, then?” Wally pressed.

“I don't know what you mean? We spoke about a lot of things. My son, your son, his other niece and nephew …”

“What did he say about me?”

Oliver clasped his hands together. He understood now. At least, he hoped he did. “Ah, um …” he tried to think of what Barry had said about Wally specifically.

“Barry … he loved you and your sister more than anything. He  _ adored _ your kids too,” Oliver leaned back slightly. “He also talked a lot about how proud he was of you.”

“There isn't much to be proud of,” he laughed a little.

“He said you've overcome a lot and that you were a great father.”

* * *

It was close to noon when Oliver received a phone call from the middle school. William had a panic attack during lunch and one of the teachers had found him hiding in the washroom.

"Sorry to call you at work,” said one of the receptionists.

“I have my secretary immediately bring me all calls about William for a reason. If he needs me, I will come to get him.”

“Make sure he doesn't make a habit of it, truancy is a real problem."

Oliver paused, trying to think of what to say. “How do we avoid that?”

“Does he had a medical reason for needing to be out of school?”

“Yes.”

“Then we’ll need a doctor's note,” she glanced up at him from her spot behind the desk with raised eyebrows.

“Thank you.” Oliver finished signing William out and headed back to the nurse's station.

“ _ Please _  don't be mad,” William said when Oliver entered the small room. His face was red, like he had been crying, his eyes slightly swollen.

Oliver frowned “I'm not mad at you, William,” he started thinking about how Barry reacted when William refused to speak to him when they met. “Okay? Now, do you have your bookbag and everything?”

William nodded and headed out to the car with him. He got in the front seat and clicked on his seatbelt. “Are you going back to work?”

“No, I'm staying home with you,” he answered.

“Roy and Thea too?”

“Yes, they're in Central City because I have to go back to Star City for work soon, remember?”

William nodded.

* * *

Oliver sat on the sofa with William and phone began to beep. He pulled it out. His car was on the far side of the city. According to his tracker, anyways.

“Stay here with Thea and Roy, Will. I have to take care of something.”

“Work?” William asked.

"Yes.”

“You're always working,” William complained, turning off the movie they were watching. “but then you say you want me here but you're never around.”

“I know, I'm sorry. I'm off this weekend though, I promise we can do something together. Do you want to go see Barry again? I'm sure he would love for you to visit him.” He suggested.

“I want to see Caitlin again.”

“Then we’ll do that. You can ask Caitlin doctor questions,” he smiled and headed out.

* * *

 

Wally gripped the steering wheel, trying to not get distracted by the overwhelming new car smell. “You got this, Wally. Just like riding a bike, you can--” 

One of the tiny, scantily clad girls in the centre waved the start.

Wally’s foot slammed down on the gas as he started, he was sure he could make this. He just let the speed take him. His eyes focused heavily on the road in front of him but his mind began to drift.

 

**Eleven Years Ago**

Thirteen-year-old Wally quickly finished brushing his teeth and rushed into his bedroom across the hall.

“Wally, we’re leaving in fifteen minutes are you ready?” a familiar voice called up the stairs. Barry.

“I need to find my mitt!” Wally called down the stairs.

_ I still remember everything about that house. _

“It’s down here, Wally!” Iris called.

Wally bounded down the stairs in his  _ Clintock _ jersey. “Okay!”

_ I still have that jersey somewhere. _

Iris didn't look up from her coffee as she held the mit across the back of the sofa for Wally to grab.

_ I can smell that old leather sofa and hear the pipes as they screeched and clinked. _

Wally grabbed the mitt and rushed towards the door.

“Are you sure you don't want to come with us? I can probably swing a ticket there,” Barry offered to Iris a final time.

“You know I hate baseball.” 

_She had waved us off._ _Iris only cared about Football._

When they got to the game, the stands were already filling up. Wally briefly recalled Barry mumbling something about how they should have left earlier, but none the less they found their seats.

Wally could remember the game carried over into sundown. When the big overhead lights went on, they sparked. That was when the night started to go downhill. It was the night Wally learned why Barry had night nightmares.

Wally was supposed to be in bed, but he was at the top of the stairs, listing to Joe argue with Barry.

“You better not have told Wally that,” said Joe seriously.

“Of course I didn't! He's a kid, what did you think I was going to say to him?” Barry demanded. “‘Hey, Wally listen, my mother was brutally murdered in front of me and I had a panic attack because I thought I saw him today?’ I'm more responsible than that Joe.”

“We both know your judgement isn't always the best,” Joe shot back, crossing his arms.

“Why don't you ever believe me?” Barry demanded. “I'm level-headed about everything else but you refuse to believe me about this?”

“Barry Allen. There is no man in the lighting! That was your eleven-year-old brain trying to process what you couldn't--”

“So, what? Are you going to send me back to therapy? More shrinks to tell me what you've been telling me my whole life? That I'm crazy?” He turned on his heels. “No thanks. Goodnight, I'm going back to my dorm,” he snapped before heading out.

Wally rushed into his sister's room. “Iris can I use your laptop?” he asked quickly.

Iris squinted at him from her seat on the bed. “For what?”

“I want to research something.”

“Fine. Just Don't go on any weird websites, Barry's roommate just cleaned my computer up,” she turned the laptop towards him.

He sat down on the end of the bed and typed ‘ _ Henry Allen Central City _ ’ 

**Central City Woman Murdered in Front of Young Son**

**Central City Doctor Found Guilty of Murder**

**Son of Victim Insists Lightning Man Killed Mother**

**Henry Allen: Beloved Doctor or Murderer?**

**Henry Allen Gets Life Sentance**

Wally clicked on the third link and he blinked a few times, his hands started to shake.

Iris glanced up from her magazine and frowned deeply. Concern raising, he turned the laptop around to face her. “Wally … Dad wouldn't want you looking at this.”

“Mr Allen killed Barry’s mom?” Wally asked, crossing his arms and trying to process the information he had been overwhelmed with,

“No, Wally,” She shook her head.

“So it really was a man in lighting like Barry thinks?”

“No, it's not that either,” she shook her head and took her brother’s hand.

“Barry saw something really bad happen to his mother, and sometimes the mind does weird things to protect itself. I trust that Mr Allen didn't hurt Mrs Allen but we don't know who did and Barry’s mind tells him it was lighting to protect himself--”

“Is he ever going to be better? Can we fix it?” Wally asked.

“I don't know, buddy, but, no, we can't fix it. We can love him though, we have to just keep loving him while he gets better on his own, okay?” Iris smiled. “Can you be strong and do that for him?”

Wally frowned. “But I want to help Barry.”

“I know, Wally. Come here,” she opened her arms and closed them around Wally when he leaned into them. “I want to help him too, but sometimes things are just bigger than us.”

* * *

* * *

Oliver followed the tracker to the far edge of town, having taken one of his more modest cars. When he arrived he could see the area was a bit unsavoury. Cars were lined up all over the place. He scoured the lot until he found what he was looking for.

His car. It had just skidded to a stop thirty feet in front of him. He approached and saw Wally sitting in the front. He frowned a bit, he had guessed it was Wally but he was hoping he would be wrong.

He knocked on the window and Wally got out of the car.

“How did you find me?” Wally asked casually, untroubled by the situation.

“I have a tracker on this car. It's my favourite,” he half lied, holding up his phone to show the GPS location. His Arrow box was locked up in the trunk, where William wouldn't find it.

“So what now? You're going to have me arrested?” Wally demanded. “Go ahead!” He crossed his send and leaned back against the body of the car. He looked defeated. He didn't look like a criminal the Green Arrow had just brought in.

Oliver saw something broken inside this boy. Normally Oliver would have just walked away, it wasn’t his problem. Something in him cared though. He wanted Wally to go home to his son.

“Get in the car, Wally,” Oliver’s voice was soft, surprising even himself.

Wally walked around the car and got in the passenger's seat. He didn't say anything, unsure of what Oliver had planned. After a few seconds, he spoke up. “You're one of those quiet mads, huh? Like my dad. Iris and Barry yell.”

“I'm not mad at you, Wally,” Oliver said firmly. “I'm disappointed.”

“Ugh, you sure sound like a dad,” he turned to look out the window.

“I  _ am _ a dad, and that's why I'm disappointed,” Oliver pulled into the sit-down place that the family had gathered before.

They sat down in a booth at the back and the waiter handed them some menus. “Order whatever you want. On me.”

“Can I get a beer on tap? Yeah. Miller is fine.”

“Are you even twenty-one?” Oliver eyed him.

“I'm twenty-four!”

“Alright, then,” Oliver ordered a lemon water. “You know, last year I would have called the police. Taught you a lesson the hard way.”

“What changed?”

“Barry.”

“So you didn't call the cops because of your obsession with my brother?” Wally nearly snapped, crossing his arms and slouching down in the booth like a disgruntled teen.   
  
“We’re both adults, we’re both fathers let's act like it, Wally. You had no issues with me being close to Barry when you were spending every other day at my house-- unless that was just to distract me while you committed grand theft auto?”   
  
“I don’t see why you won't just call the cops and be done with me,” Wally began, glaring at the table now. “We both know that's what you would rather do.”   
  
“I didn't call the police because I don't know if Barry would forgive me if I did,” he scratched the back of his head as he spoke, letting out a deep breath. He has a hard enough time dealing with his own son let alone someone else's. "What would Barry say if he was here?"   
  
“That was my brother,” Wally said quietly, his hand forming a hard fist where it laid on the table. "and he's gone, so what's the point in thinking about that?”   
  
"The point is Wally, that if you don't come home one night someone is going to have to explain that to your family. Imagine someone having to explain that to your son, and Barry when he wakes up."   
  
“He's not going to wake up, Oliver. My brother is gone,” he wanted to leave, but something kept him plastered in that both. “I don't know if I can do this without him,” he whispered.   
  
“We all lose people, Wally, but we have to keep going."   
  
“I don't know how. You can't understand. Something was wrong before Barry came to live with us. My mom died right after I was born, and I thought what our family was like-- I thought that was just normal.”   
  
“but?” Oliver nodded, listening to what Wally was trying to get out.   
  
“One night when I was five or so, my dad came home with Barry. He said he was going to live with us, and I was too young to understand what had happened, and it was hard for the first few months. I couldn't understand why Barry didn't like me anymore, but I know now it was just him dealing with his parents being gone and no one believing him…” Wally took a deep breath, appearing very interested in the wood grain of the table they were seated at. “But then, when him being with us started being normal it was just like … there was this light there we hadn't felt before.”   
  
“Barry seems to have that effect on people.”   
  
“He held our family together, but now with Barry gone, it's like ... he took that light with him or something.”   
  
“From what he’s told me, I think you guys did the same for him,” Oliver nodded once. “He’s going to need you here when he wakes up, and so is your son. So I'm not calling the police. This time. So go home and forget about racing." He picked up the check. “... but if you ever need to talk about Barry again … you know where to reach me.”

 

When Oliver returned home, William was still awake. He frowned when he saw him, seated on the sofa with his knees pulled into his chest. 

Thea hovered beside him at a safe distance, one arm outstretched, fingers combing through his hair. “He’ll be home soon, Will. I promise, sweetheart.”

“What's going on in here?” Oliver asked, crossing the room.

“William had a bad dream,” said Thea, pulling her hand back slowly.

Oliver moved across the room to sit on William’s other side. “What's the matter, kiddo?”

“You didn't come back," William mumbled, glaring at the floor.   
  
“In the dream?”   
  
He nodded once. “You didn't come home and I was all alone.”   
  
Oliver sighed and crouched down to William’s level. “Listen, I will always come home, okay? I won't leave you all alone.”   
  
William nodded again and stood, disappearing up the stairs. Oliver had been tracking his progress as much as he could. Some days were better than others. Some nights were good, others he was woken early by the sounds of William's screams. He remembered Caitlin talking about how children benefited from strong support systems after traumatic events and hoped he was there for William enough.   
  
He found himself thinking, despite himself, that Barry would know. He hated thinking that. Hated it. But it was the truth. All he got from his friends was an understanding that he was doing his best with the situation presented. He didn't need that though, he needed to be told when to be better. Barry would do that, but he hadn't wanted to admit that he needed direction. That he needed help. That would mean admitting he couldn't do it on his own.

He headed up the stairs and made his way down the hall. He stopped at William’s door and knocked. “William? Can I come talk to you in a second?”

“Yeah,” was his only response.

Oliver opened the door and headed over to the bed where William was already curled up under the covers. He sat down on the end of it. “I know this has been hard for you. Everything with your mother and then moving and … I know I said I'm always going to be here, but I also need you to tell me when you need things.”

“I know,” William said quietly.

“Good,” Oliver nodded.

“Will you stay here until I fall asleep?”

“Sure, Kiddo.”

* * *

Oliver got up the next day to his phone ringing. He snatched it off the bedside table with more dexterity than someone barely awake should have.

“Hello?”

“Okay, Oliver Queen. What do you want?” Iris’s voice rang through the receiver.

“What?” He sat up and rubbed his face.

“So you just ignored my brother stealing from you, bought him drinks and went in with your life? What do you want?”

“I didn't want to explain to Barry why I put his brother in jail over a joyride.”

“I don't understand.”

“Look, Iris, just … forget about all this. I don't want anything from Wally. I just wanted him to go home to his kid. I have to get ready, I promised to spend the day with William.” 

“We don't live in a world where people just do things for people.”

“I'm trying to take after Barry,” he ended the call.

Oliver got up and headed into the kitchen where William was already awake, he sat at the kitchen counter poking at his bowl of cereal. His full attention was on an open book next to him.

“Morning, I would have cooked something for you if I knew you were up this early,” Oliver smiled.

“I'm fine.”

“What are you reading?”

“A book about carnivorous plants,” William answered. “It was in with the ones Mr Allen bought for me before he got hurt,” he flipped to a new page.

“That's like Venus flytraps and stuff, right?” Oliver asked, genuinely curious.

“Yeah!” William smiled and held up the book so Oliver could see a large reddish plant. “Some plants just have big reservoirs insects fall into though.”

“That's really neat,” Oliver smiled and moved to sit beside him.

William began to break down how that carnivorous plant worked.

* * *

Wally trudged into the Cortex of S.T.A.R. Labs. He hovered awkwardly until someone acknowledged him.

“Wally, my man!” said Cisco, it was a bit forced.

Wally nodded once, his hands stuffing into his pockets. “I wanted to see Barry.”

“I'm sure he would love to see you,” said Caitlin with a small smile.

He slowly made his way across the room. “I got into a fight with my girlfriend,” Wally admitted.

Cisco glanced at Barry’s vitals once more before leaving Wally with Caitlin.

“What happened?”

“She said Barry isn't even really my brother,” Wally said quietly, moving to sit by Barry’s bedside.

“That's tough.”

“Barry is my brother and I don't care what anyone says,” Wally said quietly. “You know, I don't talk about this a lot, because people make it weird …” He hesitated for a moment before reaching out and taking one of Barry’s hands.   
  
“But when Barry and Iris were just starting high school and I started having these nightmares-- which was a bit of an understatement. We still don't know why I was having them,” he squeezed Barry’s hand. “Barry was always there with me. Whatever I needed, even if it was four in the morning he would come sit with me until I felt better or until my dad sent him to bed because it was a school night--” Wally closed his eyes. “When Sam was born I was still finishing my degree and I was freaking out-- but he was right there with me..”

  
“When I was thirteen Barry took me to my first Diamonds game … He always helped me with my homework, even when I started college, he's always been there. I don't understand how she can look me in the face and tell me Barry isn't my brother. She knows what we've been through together. She knows Barry is my brother.”    
  
“Sometimes you choose your own family, people who have never had to do that ... they don't get it.” Caitlin reached out and gently wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

“Yeah …”

“Do you want me to give you privacy?”  She rose from her seat when Wally nodded and made her way down the hall to Cisco’s lab.

Wally leaned his head on Barry’s arm. “I really hope you can hear us, Barr,” Wally said quietly. “I need my brother,” he had tried to deal with This, but he didn't know how anymore. “Please don't leave us.”

After what seemed like forever, a hand came down on his arm. “How’s your brother?” Linda's voice cut through the silence.

“He's the same,” Wally looked up at her holding Sam in her arms.

Sam saw Wally and immediately started to reach for him, tiny hands flexing.

“Come here, buddy,” Wally picked the boy up, kissing his head.

“I'm sorry about what I said, I was mad. It was out of line. I know what you and Barry have been through-- He's your brother, he's our brother.”

“It's fine, Lin,” he smiled a little and rose to his feet. “Let's go home, okay? I'm sorry.”

“I think we should talk about it--” Wally pressed a kiss to the corner of her mouth. “We can talk about it later. I just-- I need to go home with my family right now.”

“Okay,” she nodded. “That sounds like a good plan.”

* * *

On a hygiene day in the eighth month, Caitlin entered the cortex and grabbed her materials from a cabinet on the other side of the room. She carefully placed each item on the tray, the pre-shampooed shower cap, a packet of wet wipes and a few washcloths.

She moved the table to Barry's bedside and took a deep breath in. “Goodmorning, Barry. We're going to take care of some of your hygiene needs today.” She closed her eyes for a moment. She was a doctor, she knew Barry was alive. It was just hard to really feel it sometimes. 

She closed a curtain around his bed in case anyone came into the cortex.

She opened the plastic pouch the shower cap came in and carefully put it on his head before gently massaging the soap inside into his scalp. “I bet you can't wait to get up and take a real shower,” she said conversationally.

When she felt like that was done she removed the cap and began to dry his hair with a towel until it was as dry as she could manage. He would probably need a haircut soon, she thought anyway. 

She threw away the shower cap and towels before starting to wipe his arms with the wet wipes, carefully scrubbing between each of his fingers and paying attention to the crooks of his elbows. She went through the motions like a robot.

When everything was done she got rid of her trash and retrieved a bowl of water so she could do his face with one of the washcloths.  When everything was done she cleaned up her work area and pulled the curtain back again so she could feed him. She paused briefly before returning to her other duties. She looked at him for a few seconds too long before she reached out a hand to brush through his hair. Her lips pressed to his forehead for a fraction of a second.

“You know, it's okay to spend time with him,” said Cisco, coming into step beside her. He patted one of Barry's hands, “Hey, Barr, it's Cisco.”

“I'm his doctor,” Caitlin said seriously.

“You're also his best friend,” Cisco reached out and squeezed her arm.

“I'm fine,” she insisted. “Doctors and nurses do this every day,” she pulled away from him subtly.

“Usually not for their best friends.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry is awake, and he does his best to reconnect with his loved ones.

“Good afternoon, Barry,” Caitlin began with difficulty. Every day got harder. She had tried to view him as just another patient, but it wasn’t that easy. This wasn't a regular hospital and this was her best friend. She pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “I'm going to adjust a few things.”

Barry could just register the voice of his friend around him, and that made him feel uneasy. Several seconds after her voice reached his ears he was able to recognize that it was Caitlin. He tried to respond. He wasn't all there though, so even with the tube in his throat, all that came out was a soft groan.

“Barry?” Caitlin was adjusting his IV when she heard his wordless mumble that sounded like a groan. “Barry, it's Caitlin. If you can hear me, squeeze my hand--” she placed her hand in his.

He couldn’t quite proces her words but he could feel the pressure around his hand. His hand closed around the sourse, her own hand. It was weak, but it was an effort that Caitlin could pick up.

Caitlin squeezed back again. “It's alright, Barry. It’s alright,” she said quickly. “Wells! Cisco!”

 

  
“How much longer until he’s fully conscious?” Asked Harrison Wells after Caitlin caught them up on Barry’s condition.

“He should be coming around in a week,” she smiled and squeezed Barry’s hand again, relieved when she got another answering squeeze. “That estimate is based on my own observations of his new regenerative abilities.”

“You should contact the Wests, then,” Harrison Wells smiled. “I'll leave you two with your friend.”

“Is he going to remember us?” Cisco asked once their boss was gone.

“There will be no way of knowing the extent of the damage until he wakes up, however … he seems to have gotten stronger while in the coma.”

“Yeah, neither of us had abs before this. I hope his new abs don't hinder his ability as my wingman.” he laughed weakly.

* * *

“Hello?” Joe answered his cellphone in the precinct.

“Detective! I have some promising news. Are you sitting down?” Caitlin asked, unable to contain the grin on her face.

“Yes, I am…”

“Barry has entered a stage of higher consciousness and at this rate, we don't see why he shouldn't be fully conscious in less than a week!”

Joe leaned back in his chair and tears welled up in his eyes. _My boy_. He thought hopefully. “Thank you, Caitlin. I need to go talk to my kids. Thank you.” he ended the call.

He spoke briefly with Singh before making his way across the city to Central City Picture News. He let himself into the front and found Iris’s desk.

“Dad!” she smiled a little, then stopped when she saw his teary eyes.

“Barry started to wake up,” his hand landed on hers and squeezed gently. “Caitlin said he should be fully conscious by the end of the week.”

“Oh my gosh-!” She stood and hugged Joe tightly. “We should go see him.”

“I’ll get Wally from the auto shop, you go on ahead.”

* * *

When Barry fully regained consciousness, he sat up and his eyes darted around the room. He recognised where he was. _S.T.A.R. Labs_. He thought weakly. He opened his mouth to speak but quickly realised there was a tube down his throat.

To his right in the Medbay, Caitlin’s head snapped up and she rushed over. “Barry! Thank God,” she placed a hand on his shoulder. “don't move too much. I have to do some things-- don't try to speak,” she urged as she slowly began to remove the tube from his throat.

Barry coughed when the tube was removed, his throat felt raw. “What's going on? All I remember is the rain-- and then my hands burning and my whole body hurt at the same time,” he voice was like sandpaper.

“You were struck by lightning when the particle accelerator exploded,” Caitlin explained, slowly removing the IV from his arm. “How do you feel right now?”

“I feel fantastic … well besides my throat,” he shrugged his shoulders.

“That's good!” She nodded. “You were in a coma.” she pressed a cotton ball against the hole in his vein left behind by the IV. After it was taped down firmly she patted his arm near it gently.

“A coma? For how long?”

“Nine months,” Caitlin spoke softly.

Barry stood. “Does E.J think I'm dead? I need to call my family--”

“Don't worry, Barry. Iris was with you yesterday, she knows you're coming around. I'm going to call Detective West soon.” She was relieved that he seemed to remember his family.

“Someone kept my dad updated too, right?” he checked.

“Yes. Iris went in to your father every couple of weeks.”

Barry nodded once and slowly settled down, pulling the covers back. “I'm naked,” he suddenly realised, staring down at his boxer briefs.

“You're not all the way naked--” Caitlin headed over to a drawer and pulled out a S.T.A.R. Labs sweatshirt and a pair of pants, tossing it to him. “Stay,” she pointed at him. “I need to call Joe then remove your catheter.”

“Wait … Did the lightning give me abs?” he called, running a hand over his stomach but she was already out of the Cortex.

He pulled the sweatshirt over his head. After a few minutes Caitlin returned and removed his catheter-- something Barry considered to be the third worst experience of his life.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Barry asked when he saw Caitlin’s expression.

“Nothing, I'm f-fine,” she stood up a little straighter and began to check his vitals. She started by sticking a thermometer into his ear to check his temperature.

“Caitlin, you know you're always my friend first, right?” He reached out and stopping her from checking his blood pressure.

“A coma lasting more than five weeks is considered a long coma,” she began. “We had to face the possibility early on that you might not come back to us.”

“I'm here,” he squeezed her hand. “I have too much to do. How about you go home to Ronnie? I feel great. You did a good job taking care of me.”

“The explosion took Ronnie,” she said quietly. “Officer Adams was lost in the blast… countless others that we didn't know as well.”

“Cait … I'm so sorry.”

 

Wally was the first to arrive, breaking up the current event talk he was having with Caitlin. He just stared at Barry, casually leaned down against the bars on the centre desk.

“There’s my little bro,” Barry grinned, pushing himself up and heading over to him.

“I'm only five years younger than you.” Wally rolled his eyes, avoiding looking directly at him.

Barry wrapped him up in a tight hug; his arms locked around him securely. “Sorry, you're still my baby brother,” he could tell Wally was tense.

“Always,” Wally whispered and buried his face against Barry’s shoulder. His fingers knotted into Barry’s sweatshirt. Wally had a tendency to view Barry as invincible. No matter what happened he stood tall. When Barry didn't wake up, it had really weighed on him.

“Hey, it's okay,” Barry patted his back before starting to move his hand in circles when he felt Wally’s Hands trembling. He pressed a kiss to his temple. “It's alright.”

“I didn't know how I was going to--,” he pulled back and sniffed quietly before quickly wiping his eyes on the bottom of his sleeve. He didn't want to break apart there.

“It's alright,” he squeezed his shoulders. “How's Sam?”

“He's big now,” Wally smiled a little. “I think he’ll have to get to know you again.”

“I can't wait,” he smiled.

Soon, Iris arrived and didn't waste any time wrapping her arms tightly around him. “Oh my god--” she kissed his cheek. “Barry! Should you be walking around?”

“I feel great,” he assured her. “Are E.J and Esther okay?” He asked.

“E.J is fine, he was determined you’d wake up soon,” she smiled a bit. “We tried to show Esther a lot of pictures and talk about you … but she stopped saying your name at some point so we can't say for sure if she'll remember you.”

“Alright,” he nodded. “Did someone call the others?” He rubbed his face.

“Sarah is flying out soon, Eddie let his mother know you were awake. I think Wally called Linda?” Iris guessed. “But the phone tree is trickling down don't worry,” she cupped his face in her hands. “I'm so glad you're okay.”

Barry hugged her again and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “I'm okay, and I feel amazing!” He tried to reassure her.

When Joe arrived they sat down and talked as a family. Catching Barry up on what he had missed. What the kids were doing. Barry thought of something after a little while. “Um … did Oliver come looking for me at all?”

“Actually,” started Iris. “Oliver and William are kind of friends with us now,” she seemed surprised by her own words.

“Really?”

“Unfortunately,” Joe grumbled.

“Dad, be nice,” Wally rolled his eyes. “William and Esther are best friends,” his tone was joking.

“They're both very quiet,” Barry nodded once and looked down at his hands. “Can I see the kids?”

Iris blinked. “Sure, right! Of course, let's head out. I'll drive you. E.J. will be so happy--”

“Actually, I'll catch up with you in a few minutes,” he stood and hugged her again. “I just want to get in touch with Cisco and talk to Caitlin before I leave,” He explained.

“Alright, well, come by whenever,” Iris kissed his cheek before pulling his phone from her clutch and handing it to him.

 

When his family left, he went to sit with Caitlin, rested his hand on her arm. “Where's Cisco?” he asked tentatively.

“Cisco is in his lab! You should go visit with him then go see your family. I'll be fine,” she insisted, brushing him off.

He watched her for a second, certain she was lying. However, he knew Caitlin needed time so he nodded. “We’ll do lunch!” He decided against hugging her and moved down the hall again, heading towards Cisco’s lab.

He knocked on the open doorway when he saw the other man hunched over his desk heavily. “It's Cisco, right?” Barry began with an awkward smile. He hoped the joke wasn't too off colour, but he also figured it wasn't too far off from jokes this go would have been making while he was gone.

Cisco’s head snapped up, unsure of whether or not he’d heard a ghost. His eyes fell on Barry and he sighed heavily. “Yeah … it's Cisco, how are you feeling?” it was obvious he was holding back an emotional reaction.

“I was teasing you, sorry,” Barry crossed the room as Cisco stood.

“Asshole,” said Cisco but he wrapped his arms around Barry in a bone crushing hug that Barry returned easily. “We were worried about you.”

“Sorry, I'll try not to get struck by lightning next time,” he laughed. “Listen, I have a few more rounds to make, but I'm getting lunch with Caitlin this week, you'll come with us, yeah?”

“Of course,” Cisco smiled sadly.

“You going to be okay?”

Cisco laughed and wiped away one of the tears that had escaped. “You come back from the dead and you're wondering if I'm okay?” crossed his arms and gave him a look. “You really are just fine.”

“I'm going to head out, I have to go see the kids and Oliver,” he explained and began to head out. He only reached the door before Cisco spoke again.

He thought about the weird things they were tracking in the city. The ones Wells told him and Caitlin to keep quiet about. “Barry?” but this was his best friend. He couldn't lie to Barry.

“Hmm?” Barry turned back and frowned when he saw Barry’s serious expression. “What's wrong?”

“I have to tell you something.”

* * *

As soon as Barry walked through the door, he felt a tug on his arm. “Barry! Barry! Mom! Mom! Barry's here! Just like you said!” E.J. grinned excitedly.

Barry knelt down and pulled the boy up into a tight hug. “Yes, I'm so glad to be back and see you. You're so big now.”

“I'm five!” he grinned.

 _We_ **_weren't_ ** _supposed_ _to tell you._ Cisco’s voice echoed.

“I'm sorry I missed your birthday, little man.”

 _You need to be_ **_careful_** _._

“Its okay, are you better now?” the boy looked up at Barry.

 **_Weird_ ** _things are happening._

“I'm am perfectly fine, I promise,” he kissed the top of his head.

 _You may have been_ **_changed_ ** _._

“Barr!” Eddie said with a smile, moving in to give Barry a hug.

“Hey, Eddie,” he grinned back, happy to see his brother in law. “Where's Esther?”

“Uh, she's … around,” Eddie rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “Iris has her, look, if she doesn't remember you. I'm sorry, we did try.” he hoped Barry didn't think they just shoved Barry under the rug while he was unconscious.

“I know, memories are tough with kids that young. If she doesn't remember me, it's not the end of a world.”

Iris came out of the kitchen with a now twenty-eight month old Esher in her arms. She was still shy and withdrawn, holding onto Iris’s first two fingers tightly in her small hand.

Barry moved around Eddie, crouching down down like a duck. “Hey, Ester, sweetie. Do you remember me? Uncle Barr?”

Her face lit up. “Bawer!” she grinned and rushed across the small space and reached up at him.

He laughed and pulled her into his arms. “Hey, princess,” he laughed a little and hugged her close, kissing her cheek.

“Bawer!” She giggled and seemed content to stay glued to him.

“I guess that answers that question,” Irid laughed softly. “It's so great to have you back, Barr.”

Barry lifted Ester up, holding her on his side, where she decided to stick. “What else did I miss while I was gone?” He asked curiously, eager to catch yo on the last few months.

“Nothing that we didn't fill you in on at S.T.A.R. Labs,” Eddie shrugged his shoulders. “Wally got mixed up in some stuff but Oliver helped him.”

“You should go see him soon,” Iris suggested. “Wow, I never thought I would be saying that but … he and his son are nice. Esther likes William because they're both quiet.”

“Willam is a good kid,” Barry agreed.

* * *

Before Barry left, Iris couldn't keep herself from asking.

“What … What happened to William?” Iris asked quietly. “the scars on his face--”

“I can't say too much. It's not really my place, but … something bad happened to him,” Barry admitted. “I think Oliver keeps me around because I know how to talk to William more than he does.”

“Oh,” Iris nodded once. “Anyways, I'm glad you're awake … please be careful, okay? I love you.”

Barry pulled Iris into a tight hug and kissed her cheek. “I love you too. I promise I'll be careful.”

Barry made his way to Queen Consolidated: Central City and headed through the set of large glass doors in the front. He headed towards the front desk, passing small clusters of employees. He always liked how open the lobby was. Natural light flowed in from every angle, and spare for the reception desk and a few beige sofas, it was void of furnichure.

The floor was white tile, and Barry admittedly always felt very out of place when he showed up in even his work attire. He made his way to the large desk in the back. Behind it, sat a tall brunet. Barry recognised her as the secretary.

“As I live and breathe, Barry Allen!” she said in an overly friendly tone that honestly sounded like nails on a chalkboard to him. “I was wondering where you were. It's been a while. You go out of town?”

“No, Debrah, I was actually in a coma.”

“My mistake. Anyway, should I call him and let him know you're here?” she offered.

“I think I'm just going to go up and see him, if that's still fine?” Barry asked.

“By all means. I hope this means I'll be seeing more of you again."

“Yeah,” Barry nodded and headed past the desk to the elevator, taking it up.

When he got off the elevator he headed down the hallway, which he noticed was still blue, while the elevator had been renovated to a more subtle silver.

He knocked on the office door, a few times.

“Come in,” Oliver called from the other side of the door.

Barry hesitated before pulling the door open. He stepped inside and closed the door behind him. “I'm really digging the new elevator,” Barry smiled warmly.

Oliver’s head snapped up. He didn't say anything at first, his hand moved to the phone on his desk, pressing one of the buttons. “Debrah, please cancel all of my meetings for the rest of today.”

“All of them, sir?” the voice rang back though the speaker. “Even Hong Kong?”

“Yes, even Hong Kong. Thanks.” he pulled his hand off the button and he stood. “What's happening?” Oliver asked seriously. Oliver didn't trust this for a second. This would not have been the first time he’d seen a ghost after all. Something jumped in his chest at the sight of Barry before him though, however he could say the same real feeling washed over him when he saw Slade and Shado.

“I just woke up, and I came to see you?” Barry frowned slightly, crossing his arms. “Did we have a fight I don't remember?”

“Not a recent one … It doesn't matter,” he waved his hand and stood, crossing the room to meet him. “It's good to see you. How are you feeling?”

Barry seemed suspicious but nodded, smiling a little. “I feel great! How an out you? What have I missed?” he couldn't shake the feeling that Oliver wasn't being entirely honest with him, but he also didn't want to pry. “Do you have time to grab lunch now that you canceled all of your meetings?”

“Absolutely,” he headed out the door with Barry and back out the door. “I think we should celebrate, sushi?” Oliver suggested.

Barry hesitated, but then agreed. “Sure, that sounds good, let's go.”

* * *

Central City’s favourite sushi restaurant had a very different vibe than the places he and Oliver normally elected to dine. There was the front portion of the shop, which had a few tables. It was dimly lit, the only light coming from the soft glow of fake candles at the tables. Not far away was the bar where the chefs made the sushi.

Barry’s first assumption was that Oliver would request a seat near the sushi bar. However, when Oliver approached the host podium the words that came out of his mouth surprised him. “Could my friend and I get the booth in the back, please?”

Barry glanced at Oliver, bewildered. Barry had been the this particular restaurant once or twice in his life. They went once for Cisco’s birthday, once for Iris’s and he briefly remembered getting dinner there with Iris after they'd both had a bit too much to drink at the bar down the street. Never had they gone into the back room.

The hostess smiled and picked up a few menus before she lad them back. A thick black curtain separated the front and back rooms. Brry had never been back here, because people usually brought dates there. It was quiet, and dimly lit, even more so than the front room. Fairy lights hung along the walls.

The hostess set the menus down as the two mean sat. She spoke to Oliver in Japanese before turning to Barry and asking in English. “Do you need a moment?”

“Uh-- yes I'll need a minute. Sorry,” he mumbled.

Oliver spoke back to the server in Japanese, though he seemed to struggle with it slightly.

“Since when do you speak Japanese?” Barry asked as he glanced at the menu.

“Ordering food and ‘ _please and thank you’_ are hardly _speaking_ Japanese,” Oliver laughed softly. “My real talents lie in Mandarin and Russian,” he picked up the menu again and began to read it over. Though he had eaten there a hundred times. It was some of the only east Asian food he could stomach anymore.

Most other dishes just reminded him of his time in Hong Kong. Something he didn't like remembering. He often avoided it if he could.

“Still impressive,” Barry laughed a little and started to look over the menu as well. “kind of a weird place to pick for a friendly lunch,” Barry observed.

“This is the booth I get everytime I come here. It's quiet.”

“Fair enough. I've never even been back here,” he admitted. “It's nice though.” he shrugged it off. “What have I missed while I was gone?” He was sure he had to have missed a thing or two while he was gone.

“Nothing really,” he replied. “William and I missed you,” he admitted carefully,

“Oh yeah … what does he think happened?” Barry asked.

“I told him the truth. He came to visit you with me a couple times,” Oliver looked at at the waitress when she returned.

The paused their conversation to order more sushi than either man could eat. When the waitress was gone again, they resumed.

“Is he okay?” Barry asked with a small frown.

“Yes. He’s been managing,” Oliver nodded. “Caitlin has been very helpful though all this-- to all of us,” he smiled faintly. “Cisco is quite the character as well.”

“Yeah, Cisco has always been a jokester and Caitlin is great," Barry hesitated, unsure of the best time to ask this question. "Could I come see William sometime?” he worried about how his absence may have affected the boy who was just starting to enjoy his company.

“It’s a Saturday. He's at home with my sister; Thea,” Oliver smiled a little more genuinely. “Thea has actually been dying to meet you. She claims you put me in a good mood.”

Barry hesitated for a moment but smiled back. Occasionally Oliver would say something like this. He always tried to brush it off. It was the twenty-first century after all. It wasn't abnormal for men to have closed friendships. Barry and Cisco were as close as they came, but it was rare that Barry met a man like Cisco. “Well,” he decided on. “I hope that's true.”

“I would like to say something,” Oliver scratched the back of his neck, honestly endeared by the way Barry was smiling at him.. “I--”

Their server returned with their orders and laid them across the table. Oliver spoke briefly with her in Japanese again. It wasn't anything long, probably just a thank you, Barry assumed.

“You were saying?” He up a salmon roll with difficulty and popped it into his mouth.

“I told you this while you were in the coma, but you don't remember so--”

“You visited me?”

“Once or twice. Mostly with William,” Oliver wasn't exactly _lying_ , but he wasn't being fully honest either. Which may have been why he could get away with it. Oliver had tried to visit Barry at least every other week while he was under, if not more. “I'm going to be honest, I don't know why we’re friends.” that wasn't a lie either.

“William asked me why we were friends once,” Barry laughed softly.

“I believe things happen for a reason,” he picked up a spicy shrimp roll with a dexterity Barry would only envy. “I don't know why, but I walked into that bookstore for a reason. It just happens to be a decision that I'm very happy about.”

“Me too,” Barry agreed.

When they were done, they ended up packing up a lot of the sushi. They had ordered a bit much. When they got into Oliver’s car again he spoke again. “Do you want me to drop you at the Thawne’s or would you be up for seeing William?”

“We can go see William,” Barry smiled. “I would love to meet Thea.”

* * *

When Barry walked through the door behind Oliver he heard him say “Hey, William, you'll never guess who stopped by the office today.”

William stepped out of the living room and when his eyes fell on Barry. He didn't seem as receptive as he once was. He hung back slightly. He seemed visibly confused and wary.

“Hey, buddy,” Barry smiled softly. “How are you? Eighth grade going well?” he asked.

“Yes,” William replied.

“I brought home Sushi,” Oliver said quickly to diffuse the tension. “It's cooked, so you can have it for lunch, or bring it to school tomorrow.”

 

The group got together for dinner, Barry’s college friend was back in town and more than happy to come by the restaurant. She crossed the room and threw her arms around him; squeezing so hard Barry lost his ability to breathe for a few moments. “Barry!” she grinned widely.

“Hannah,” he smiled and returned the hug. “Thanks for coming out.”

“Of course! How are you feeling?”

“I feel great, thanks. How is your bee hive?” he asked but soon got pulled away from her to greet Mrs Thawne who was extremely relieved to see Barry on his feet. Joe and Iris gave him another hug and when he sat down, E.J. was demanding to sit in Barry’s lap.

Esther made a reaching movement towards William, who had reluctantly agreed to join them. Barry understand that William would probably need time to warm up to him again.

“William?” Eddie said with a small smile. “Would it be okay if Esther sat with you in the booth?” with a nod from the boy, Eddie set Esther up in between them.

“I would like to say a prayer for Barry before we eat,” Edna spoke up a few minutes later.

Hannah, to Barry's left, put on a smile and took Barry’s hand, and then Joe’s on her right. Barry looked to his left and Oliver took his hand awkwardly. Barry could tell he hadn't been raised being pulled into prayer circles. Barry hadn't really either, but occasionally Edna prayed over dinner.

Oliver gave Barry’s hand a gentle squeeze that surprised him. While it took him by surprise  he far from minded. Edna Thawne said a small prayer for Barry and the family before everyone ordered food.

William was more than willing to help Esther with her dinner. He also somehow managed to pick the seat farthest from Barry. Which made Barry a bit sad but he wouldn't press the subject. He hoped that William would warm back up to him one day though.

When they headed out of the restaurant after saying goodbye to most of the family, Oliver turned to Barry. “Would you like to say goodbye to Mr Allen?” Oliver asked gently.

The teenager responded by stepping pointedly behind Oliver in an action that was a bit immature for his age. Barry didn't pay it any mind though. “It was good to see you, William.”

Just then, Barry's hand started to vibrate violently. William noticed and pulled even more away. He had seen reports on online forms lately of strange criminals with inhuman powers. "Dad, I want to go home, now, please?" The child insisted as he tugged on Oliver's sleeve.

As Oliver assured William that they were leaving, Barry stuffed his hands into his pockets to hide the movements. He was a bit panicked himself, and didn't want Oliver to see. They said their goodbyes quickly and he shot Cisco and Caitlin a concerned glance. "I need to get to the lab, my hand is ... vibrating," he informed them lowly when Oliver and William were out of earshot.

Caitlin and Cisco rushed him to Caitlin's car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I think I'm a bit late. I got distracted because I joined an awesome Olivarry Discord!! I alwaya see all you awesome folks subscribing to my fic and commenting (quite a lot of you now, thanks for the love!) and I'm always like "Man i wish I could talk to these shippers, where are you hiding?" XD none of my irl Arrowverse friends are fans of the ship. So I was so psyched when I found You Can Inspire! You should come join us <3 
> 
> https://olivarrynet.tumblr.com/post/179668652866/come-join-us-over-at-olivarry-discord-chat-the


	8. Chapter 8

Oliver headed down the stairs when he saw a figure in the kitchen. It was far too large to be William. When he drew closer his eyes fell upon none other than Dick Grayson. He crossed his arms.  
  
“What are you doing, Dick? I have a young son, you can't just break into my house.”  
  
“I'm having a bad day, a little punk at the register laughed at me for using batdad's black credit card to buy dollar store Nutella!” Dick sniffed slightly and wiped his face. The brown food substance being smeared around with his actions.  
  
“That doesn't explain why you're … having a breakdown in my kitchen ... at three am.”  
  
“I was so upset that I forgot to buy a plastic spoon, and I was like ‘you know what? Uncle Ollie is like a block away and I bet he has spoons’.”  
  
“I'm not your uncle.”  
  
“But aren't you old like Bruce? So you're basically my uncle.”  
  
“Bruce Wayne is fift-- you know what? Sure, yeah,” he went over to the sink and sat down next to Dick. He wasn't sure what to do. He would probably feel bad if he kicked him out. “What ... uh ... happened?” he was almost certain that he wasn't more than seven years older than Dick, but he tried not to be annoyed by the old comment.  
  
“Being a superhero and dating is not a good combo,” he sniffed and wiped his eyes on his sleeve.  
  
“No, it's not.”  
  
“She was really nice, but I couldn't tell her that I'm Nightwing so she left me,”  
  
“That's rough, buddy.”  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
“Well listen … feel free to use the shower in the basement … but could you try to be out of here before seven? I don't want to explain you to my son.”  
  
“Superhero life bruh, I totally get it. I'll be out lickity split,” he shot Oliver finger guns.  
  
“Thanks …” Oliver stood and went back upstairs.

* * *

The team was still at S.T.A.R. Labs when the morning came around. Barry sat up and wrapped his arms around himself, the lab was a little chilly.

“You're going to bend the monitor,” Caitlin complained.

“The way William looked at me last night, I've never seen him that scared.”

“Let's just hope he doesn't say anything to Oliver,” Caitlin said with a huff. “He could easily break you in two.”

“What do you mean?” Barry’s eyebrows knitted together, unsure where Caitlin got that idea. Oliver wasn't a fighter, at least, that's what he thought.

“Um, well, he sort of … helped me out while you were in the coma. I was nearly mugged on my way to the lab. He took the guy down really fast,” she looked down at the clipboard in her hands and took a few more notes.

“You should go to sleep,” Barry commented, taking in the dark circles covered by her partially smeared make-up.

“No, I have to-- um,” she shook her head. “Here are the changes to your DNA,” she picked up her tablet and showed him side by side images of his DNA before and after he was hit with dark matter.

“That's neat and all,” Barry sighed. “but all of us are tired,” he nodded to Cisco who was nodding off at a nearby table.

Cisco sat across the room, his mane of hair tied back for once; probably to keep it out of the Chinese takeout he kept accidentally dipping his face into. He started upward “I'm awake!” he announced loudly.

  
“We’ve been at this for hours, maybe my hands just vibrate. I mean, it's weird, but I'll take it,” Barry laughed with a bright grin. "Better than fire powers, because let me tell you, the last thing someone as clumsy as me needs, is the ability to make fire."  
  
Caitlin's lips formed a hard line, and Barry was almost positive she was fighting a smile.  
  
"Can you imagine me contorting fire? Remember the last time I was trusted with _flames_?"  
  
Caitlin laughed in spite of herself. "Y-you set your sleeve on fire."

“I set my sleeve on fire, and then what happened?” Barry sat up straighter.

“Cisco sprayed you with the fire extinguisher,” once in the emotion, Caitlin couldn't stop laughing.

Barry pulled off the monitors and carefully set them down, pulling on his shirt again. He got up and wrapped Caitlin up in a light hug, holding her against him like she might break if too much pressured were applied.

Cisco crossed the room and wrapped her arms around both of them from the other side. “If you thought I wasn't getting in on this, you were so wrong, bring it in, guys,” he joked and gave them a tight squeeze.

* * *

Barry was eager to get back to work, he had gotten enough sleep to last him a while. He expected a quiet day, he had about a hundred miles of cases to finish because Singh never replaced him. He decided it was best to hunker down and start on one of the evidence boxes.

It was about eleven thirty when a bag was dropped in front of his face. It was white and bore a big belly logo. He glanced up to see Oliver Queen. “Detective Thawne told me that sometimes if I don't come get you for lunch, you'll occasionally work through it,” he set a drink down next to him. “If you pass out because I stopped intervening I'll feel bad,” he rolled his eyes.

“I um … thanks,” Barry picked up the bag. “Let's sit over here,” he headed over to another desk in the room and Oliver sat across from him. “You know my Big Belly order?” Barry raised his eyebrows when Oliver dropped a loaded burger in front of him.

“We'd gone out to lunch together about fifty-five times before you went into the coma,” Oliver shrugged his shoulders.

“You counted?”

“I actually looked at my credit card statements this year and the three months we knew each other was like, half fast food,” he laughed softly.

“Wow, it's weird that we've only known each other for a few months,” Barry unwrapped his burger and dripped his fries onto the wrapper. He wondered what it must be like to not even need to glance at your credit card statements. _Must be nice_. He thought. “So, how's William?” he shoved a few fries into his mouth.

"William is fine,” Oliver shrugged. “He's doing as well as he can. School is a new challenge. He comes home a lot, he gets these panic attacks,” he heaved a sigh. “I can't help but feel like I'm not doing enough.”

“You're doing your best.”

“You're going to stop being honest now?” Oliver laughed, taking a bite of his chicken sandwich. “What happened to brutally honest Barry?”

“I was forced into therapy sessions as a kid,” Barry popped another few fries into his mouth, chewed and swallowed. “and one thing they always told me is that recovery isn't linear, but you have to keep going. How well William is or isn't doing, isn't a direct reflection of you.” which was a lot easier said than done. Barry hardly dealt with his own traumas. He was too busy taking care of everyone else, or working his mom's case. “I mean I had an amazing support system and look at me.” he laughed darkly.

“I don't know--” he felt confused by Barry’s final comment though.

“Are you being a support system for him? Are you encouraging him to talk to professionals without forcing him?”

“Well, yes, but--”

“Then that's all you can do, Oliver. He may be your son but you can't just fix him,” Barry took a sip of his drink. “If it will make you feel better, I'll give you some of my PTSD books.”

“Sure,” Oliver nodded.

When the two finished lunch, Oliver stood and Barry walked him to the door. The blond opened his arms slightly then forced a cough. Barry caught it though.

“Do you want a hug?” Barry was admittedly a little amused. He didn't take Oliver as a touchy-feely guy. He gave Oliver a look with raised eyebrows. His lips curving into a slight smirk.

“No,” Oliver crossed his arms. “I thought you might--”

“Give me a hug, Ollie,” he opened his arms.

Oliver pulled Barry into a tight hug. It was innocent enough and Barry didn't think much of it. Aside from some pride that Oliver, one of the most stoic guys he knew, wanted a hug from him.

Oliver pulled back and headed out the door soon after.

* * *

Oliver headed into the kitchen and “What are you making?” his tone was curious as he came into step beside Barry. He was surprised Barry having so much energy despite having just woken from his coma four days ago.  
  
“Pancakes, sausage, hash browns, and bear claws are in the oven,” Barry answered with a smile, starting to incorporate the wet ingredients into the dry ones.  
  
Oliver picked up a dot of it and wiped it on Barry’s nose. “Are you ever _not_ doing something?”  
  
“I almost died. I want to spend time doing things that make me happy. I'm sure you can understand that.”  
  
“Cooking breakfast with me makes you happy?” Oliver repeated back to him. A ghost of a smirk crossing his face. He fought with himself about how … _warm_ … the thought made him feel.  
  
Barry stiffened. “I just meant uh-- I'm not trying to be weird at all-- I just. We're friends and it's nice?” He lowered his eyes to the pan in front of him. “Sorry.”

Oliver placed a hand on his shoulder and flexed it. “I was just teasing you. I like it too.” he pressed his forehead against Barry’s for a moment. “I'm sorry. I like having you around, Barr.”

Barry was surprised by the action at first, until he felt something thick and wet plaster across his cheek. “You jerk,” Barry pulled away with a chuckle and wiped the pancake batter off his cheek with his sleeve.

“Sorry,” he didn't sound very sorry at all.

Barry picked up a handful of flour and tossed it onto Oliver. “There, all over your suit.”

“I have to go to work, Allen--” Oliver touched Barry’s face with the hand that was still covered in batter, making the other side a mess as well.

It didn't take long until they were chasing each other around the kitchen like a couple of teenagers. Oliver couldn't remember the last time he felt like this -- with Laurel, maybe. Barry went to flick the spoon onto a Oliver's suit but Oliver’s hand locked around his wrist

“No!” Barry laughed and struggled to free himself, but to no avail. Oliver drew Barry in without thinking, and Barry marveled at his strength. Their noses almost brushed each other, so he leaned backwards slightly.

Barry hadn’t realised before how toned Oliver’s arms were, or how hard his body _really_ was. His suits hid it fairly well most days. His arms were hard.

Oliver had the kind of tone you had to work at. He felt -- happy. Almost. Quite close to it. Or at least, closer than he had been in nine months. He smirked. With them being as close as they were now, there was no way Barry didn't feel his breath on his lips. That Oliver was sure of.

“Hey, Oliver-- uhm,” a deep voice cleared its throat and the looked up to see a young man standing in the kitchen. _Roy Harper_ stood in the kitchen, slowly backing out. This was the last thing he wanted to walk in on.

Oliver pulled back from Barry quickly and they both began to brush off the flower that clung to their clothes. “Roy,” Oliver said, switching immediately to business mode. “Can I help you with something?”

“Um, actually … nope. I was just leaving,” Roy slipped out of the room quickly.

Barry returned to the stove as fast as he could, starting to make pancakes. “You're going back to Starling in a week, right? To take care of stuff at Queen Con?”

“That's right, that's why Roy is here,” he held Barry’s chin in his hand, to support it as he wiped the other side with a kitchen towel.

They didn't say anything, and it was obvious Oliver took his time. The sound of pancakes cooking almost silenced around them. Barry’s eyes fell closed when the towel scratched against his nose. As soon as the mess was gone though, so was Oliver's touch. A few seconds too long, but still not long enough.

Oliver opened the door to the basement and tossed the towel down before returning to the stove. Playing innocent so well that Barry actually believed it. Oliver had liked it though. He liked touching Barry. Just, little things. Like the hug the previous day and just now, holding his face was … nice. He did his best to ignore that though.

Barry’s cheeks felt warm, but he pushed the feeling down. He didn't want to think about Oliver that way. He liked his friendship with him. He liked him and he liked William, Roy and Thea too. Even if she was what others would consider a little much at times. She’d taken a fast liking to Barry.

The first time he met her was a nice expierence.

* * *

* * *

Barry was helping to cook dinner, despite Oliver's insistence that he should be resting. Oliver eventually gave up, letting Barry do what he liked.

“I've never met anyone who could out-stubborn my brother,” Thea commented.

When he turned around, the young woman sat on the small island behind him. He smiled. “I’ve got three stubborn family members and children under eight in my life. I'm used to it,” he said this confidently, as if Esther and E.J couldn't get him to give them what they wanted with a single look most days.

“I bet Ollie is more like the kids,” she grinned triumphantly.

“He is stubborn … not too good at praising himself either,” he thought of how much weight Oliver seemed to carry around.

“My brother … He’s …”

“You don't need to explain. We all have something that follows us, my mom, William’s mom, I know Oliver has the island. I don't want you to feel like you have to validate--”

“Your mother?”

“She was murdered when I was a kid,” Barry answered, moving to put the dish in the oven. “Around the same age as William.”

“Oh man,” said Thea sympathetically. “I'm sorry.”

“I've addressed it,” he lied with a shrug.

“I wanted to say _thank you_.”

“It's just Grandma Esther's noodle dish,” he smiled and set the timer.

She laughed and shook her head. “No, I mean-- yes, thanks for making dinner but … my brother has been a lot lighter with you around.”

“I don't know if that has anything to do with me, but I'm glad.”

* * *

* * *

In the present, Barry realised how much he had grown to really enjoy Oliver's family. They were a little different. Just like his. He never once felt the need to defend his role as uncle, brother, or son. It was refreshing. People usually asked questions, as Barry wasn't legally adopted by the Wests until he was sixteen.

“I have to get going, have to get to work,” Barry said, pulling at his collar awkwardly.

“Right, of course. I'll see you later."

* * *

Barry sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He was grateful that he hadn't started vibrating for no reason yet this week. Things had been quiet since dinner. He was scrolling through his Instagram when he heard the all too familiar sound of heels on the lab floor.

“Hey, Cait,” Barry said before he turned around in his chair to face her.

“How did you do that?” she asked with an amused smile.

“The only women who ever come into the lab are you and Iris. Iris wears wider heels that click differently,” he shrugged his shoulders and leaned back slightly in his chair, resting his head on his folded hands.

“Well, I’m glad your auditory functions seem to be in working order,” she smiled. “I was hoping I could check your vitals really quick.”

Barry frowned. Caitlin had been really on top of his health lately. More than she usually was. It worried him. Cisco sometimes jokingly called her WebMD due to her bad habit of assuming the worst from the smallest things. “Sure, yeah that's fine.”

She sat her bag down on his desk and opened it, pulling out a blood pressure cuff. Just as she went to wrap it around his arm he pulled away.

“I have a condition though.”

“What's that?”

“You have to come out for drinks with me. Tonight,” he grinned up at her.

“Fine,” she agreed. “Just give me your arm.”

He surrendered his arm to her and she wrapped the cuff around it. “It's still high … but your heart rate is high lately too …”

They had to redefine what was healthy for Barry while he was in a coma. His vitals had more than tripled. Cisco had to make calculations of what was healthy for him and the undergo made her anxious.

* * *

Later that evening Barry and Caitlin met at the local bar. It was the after-work rush so getting to the bar was a bit of a pain but they managed.

However, it wasn't long into the night that Barry noticed something. “This … isn't doing anything to me,” he squinted at his six empty shot glasses, and two beers. Barry was a bit of a lightweight and usually felt at least a buzz by now.

“Huh …” Caitlin wobbled slightly. “Well, I think I should take some blood in the morning.

“I think you're done though,” Barry laughed a little. However, she ordered another drink, pointedly shoving him away when he tried to stop her.

Eventually, Barry convinced her to go home. He got them a cab to her apartment on the other side of town. “Barry Allen, you are--” she paused. “My best friend!” She grinned at him as he helped her out of the cab. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Cait,” he laughed. “Let's go, time for you to go to bed.”

“Alright!” She grinned.

He lead her upstairs and used the spare key she’d given him to get the door open.

She stopped. “No,” she said firmly.

“What?” He stopped and let go of her.

“Why would you do this?” She demanded.

“Cait, hey, it's okay. What's wrong?” He held up his hands in a cautionary gesture.

“Why did you bring me here?” her voice was barely a whisper. She hasn't been inside her apartment since Ronnie died.

“Because you have to go to bed?” His eyebrows pulled together.

“Ronnie lived here with me."

“Were you staying somewhere else?”

She didn't answer, she just held onto him tightly. Barry frowned and pulled out his phone, texting Cisco.

 **Barry:** _Where is Caitlin staying? I brought her home and she's really upset._

 **Cisco:** _She's been staying with me since Ronnie died._

 **Barry:** _What should I do?_

 **Cisco:** _I think you should stay with her._

Barry sighed and wished he had known this beforehand. “Cait, it's okay. I'll stay with you, okay?”

Eventually, he convinced her to go inside. He turned around when she changed and got into bed.

“Barry, can you sit with me?” She asked.

“Yeah, of course, Cait,” he moved and sat down with her. He placed a hand on her thigh over the covers, gently gliding his thumb back and forth.

She cried quietly into her pillow and he moved up to gently brush her hair back. “It's okay,” he said softly.

“Please don't leave.”

“I'm right here, Cait,” Barry stood and kicked off his shoes, sitting up against the headboard on the other side of the bed. “Do you want to hold my hand?”

Caitlin rolled over and took his hand. Her eyes were closed tightly. She didn't want to be there, but it was too late to get another cab in this state. She hoped with Barry there it would be easier.

Barry pulled the blanket up a little further over her. “Do you want the lamp next to me on or off?”

“On,” she requested quietly.

When Barry awoke the next morning, he was still sitting up against the bed slightly, but Caitlin was curled up into his side. He frowned and mentally compared her to a wet kitten. He wish someone had thought to me ton that she wasn't living at home. It could have saved Caitlin the stress.

“Ronnie,” Caitlin mumbled.

“It's Barry,” Barry said quietly.

“Oh,” she sat up. “sorry.”

Barry reached out and touched her shoulder gently. “Do you remember last night?”

She shook her head. “Not really.”

“We came back here … I didn't know you were staying at Cisco’s. I stayed with you because you were upset,” he wondered if she would be mad at him for taking her home.

“Oh,” she nodded. “Thanks, Barry,” she forced a smile. “I haven't been here since Ronnie … I haven't even gone through his stuff. Cisco was supposed to help me but then weird things started happening in the city…”

“Then we’ll do that this week. Together, okay?”

They would spend the next week packing up all of Ronnie's things into boxes. It took a few days but they managed bit by bit. “Joe’s got a strange unit … we’ll keep the stuff in there in case you decide to do something else with it,” he assured her.

Caitlin nodded, taking only one of his shirts and letting the rest get taken away by movers.

“You know you can talk to me,” Barry said quietly.

“I'm fine,” she insisted. “Last night was just the alcohol. Alcohol is a depressant after all. I need to get to work,” she went to her closet to pick out some clothes to change into.

Barry didn't believe her, but he didn't know what else to do. He had tried to te get her to talk, but she didn't until she was drunk and barely remembered the next day. He came to stand beside her. He hugged her with one arm. “Do you need anything else?” he asked gently.

“No,” she moved away from his touch and then stopped. “... but thank you for your help,” she gave him a forced smile.

“Alright, I have to head out, I have a couple of case files to finish.”

* * *

Barry headed into the lab around four and managed to get to work without any distractions until about five o’clock.  
  
“Mr Allen?”  
  
Barry glanced up to see William, clinging to the doorway. His hands shook slightly and it made Barry’s lips turn down in a frown. “William?” he stood and William moved back slightly.  
  
“Are you … different now? Like the bad men?” he asked, creeping further into the crime lab.  
  
“What? William, this is a crime lab you really shouldn't--”  
  
“Are you bad now?” William asked firmly.  
  
Barry tried to understand what William was talking about bit he couldn't. “I'm not bad, what bad men? The ones who hurt you and your mom?”  
  
“No, these--” he held out a large smartphone towards Barry, a very low-quality video of someone creating a storm in their hands playing on it. “Dr Snow gave me an article about comas, and you're strong now and you were shaking really fast, then at dinner you were weird.”  
  
“William, I would never do anything bad, okay?" He took a step forward. “I promise. I'm good.”  
  
William flinched, hard and suddenly time stopped for Barry. William was colliding with a set of shelves. It slowly swung back then forward-- Before Barry could process it himself, he was moving, and shielded William from the falling glass with his body.  
  
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to break it--"  
  
"William, it's okay," Barry flinched. “Are you hurt?”

“I'm sorry, I'm sorry,” he just repeated.

Barry sighed and pulled out his cell phone, dialing Oliver's number.

“Barry, I can't talk right now. I went up to Williams room and he was gone and he won't answer my calls--”

“He showed up at my work … he got confused but everything's okay. I'll stay with him until you can get here.”

“Why is he there?” Oliver demanded. Barry could tell he was getting heated.

“I don't know, Oliver. He just showed up. I don't know how he even knew how to find me the city is huge,” he sighed heavily. “Look, he almost knocked over some stuff and he's crying, you should try to get here soon,” he hung up the phone and bent down slightly, starting to clean up bits of broken glass. “William, look at me, no one is mad at you, okay? You didn't do anything wrong.”

William sniffed and wiped his face as Barry finished cleaning up the glass. “I'm sorry.”

“It's just a little bit of glass,” Barry smiled and chucked the last bit into the garbage can.

“You got hurt though,” William argued.

“What?”

William pointed to his cheek.

Barry touched his cheek and it came back red. “It's just a small cut. I'll be fine. I'm more worried about you.”

“William,” Oliver was on a knee in a second, his hands on Williams shoulders. “You can't run off like that, okay? You need to answer me when I call too. You gave me a heart attack. That's why you have a phone, to answer my calls.”

Barry chuckled softly, muffling it with his hand. He smiled fondly down at the scene of Oliver fussing.

“What?” asked Oliver.

“Sorry, I just don't think I've ever seen you go into dad mode before,” Barry shrugged and crossed his arms. Barry felt alive, he was _fast_.

“What happened to your face?” Oliver closed the space between them and turned his head to investigate the thin slice on his cheekbone.

“It's nothing,” Barry insisted.

Oliver gave a firm nod and then looked to William again. “William, you can't just show up to Mr Allen’s lab. This is his work, not a playground. You could have gotten seriously hurt.”

“Oliver, it's my fault. I should have gotten him out of the lab,” Barry insisted. “How about we go to Jitters and get some hot chocolate? William has had a rough day.”

“Okay,” Oliver agreed reluctantly.

The coffee shop was oddly quiet. Only a few tables were taken up. They sat on the upper level. William seemed content on staying silent. Barry passed him his hot chocolate.

“How is school going?” Barry turned to look at William who shrugged his shoulders.

“It's okay.”

“William got an A and his end of term science paper,” Oliver bragged shamelessly with a grin.

“More and more like a dad every time I see you,” Barry teased to turned to look at William. “That's great! You should be really proud of yourself.” Barry’s hand started shaking again and he forced it into his jacket pocket. “I have to head out, but it was good seeing you.”

Oliver glanced at him with raised eyebrows, it had been _his_ idea to go out after all. Seeing him leave so fast definitely made him take notice. It was odd.

Barry managed to get around back before he lurched forward at an inhuman speed, smashing into the wall. He winced and forced himself up before managing to zip to S.T.A.R. Labs. He pulled out his phone and opened the group chat.

 **Barry:** _We’ve got a problem. I'm fast._

 **Cisco:** _what?_

 **Caitlin:** _Elaborate, please?_

 **Barry:** _I just ran from Jitters to S.T.A.R. Labs in about four ten minutes. Maybe less._

 **Caitlin:** _Leaving now._

 **Cisco:** _Me too!_


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry has some unexpected reactions to the Speed Force. William gets sick for the first time Oliver has seen, and he doesn't handle it well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[Warnings; flu symptoms, grief, loss,
> 
> Notes: I originally had a longer arc planned for Cisco dealing with his guilt and grief, but I just froze up trying to write him, so I'm really sorry it pales in comparison to Caitlin's. I will revisit it in the future if I can. Wally's is going to go deeper and Eddie definitely has an emotional arc coming up that I sort of gently teased here.]]

“His speed is impressive,” Caitlin watched in awe as Barry gained more and more speed on the treadmill Cisco built. They watched from behind a window. Cisco at the controls.

“It's incredible! Way to go Barry!” Cisco called, cheering him on. The lab was quiet, it seemed that Wells hadn't even come in. Caitlin knew he most likely would not be surprised.

Barry got off the treadmill grinning ear to ear. “Whoo! This is _so_ cool!” he announced and rushed into the other room to stand by his friends. “How fast was I going?”

“Three hundred miles an hour,” Cisco grinned. He was visibly excited.

Barry’s phone began to ring. He pulled it out and glanced at the caller ID. it was Iris so he answered right away. “Hey, Iris!”

“Wow, you sound like you're in a good mood!” Iris sounded relieved. “So, are you feeling well enough for a favour?”

“For my favourite sister? Always,” he got that stupid grin on his face that he always did with Iris.

“Alright, well, I need some background for my scientific article--”

“I'll be there soon,” he promised.

“How soon?”

Barry glanced at his friends. “Uh … _pretty_ soon!” he said a bit louder.

 

When Barry arrived at Iris’s house, it was just a little quieter than he expected. “Hello?” he called, letting himself in. “Someone ordered a scientist?” he grinned as he moved further into the house.

Iris suddenly appeared out of the kitchen with Esther in her arms. “Bar!” the baby grinned and reached for him, making determined ‘grabby hands’.

Barry laughed and took the girl into his arms. “I'm sorry I didn't come see you guys yesterday … I had a weird day. Plus there was a robbery and it was a mess.”

“Oh you're fine!” Iris hugged him and kissed his cheek. “So, Simon Stag is getting an award and I was hoping you could give me the scientific background I need for it.”

“Simon Stag is doing wonders for medical science!” Barry grinned, causing Ester to giggle. He laughed into a full explanation that was broken down enough for Iris to write on it properly.

He hung by even after though. He hadn't spent enough time with his family that week. “Where's Eddie and E.J?”

“Eddie is at work and E.J. is at school.”

“Oh … I missed his first day of Kindergarten didn't, I?” he frowned.

“Yeah, but it went well! He loves it,” she smiled sadly. “He has a ton of friends,” Iris squeezed his shoulder. “Also, we still have a few years before this one goes off to school,” she tickled Esther's arm. “Stay out of comas for a while.”

“Oh, I'll try,” Barry gave her a wry smile.

Iris grew serious again and she touched his shoulder. “It's really great to have you back,” she looked at him as if he night fall to pieces in front of her.

“I'm okay, Iris,” Barry took her hand in his and wove their fingers together.

“I'm not,” her voice was barely a whisper.

Barry dropped her hand an arm around her, pulling her close to his side. “Hey, it's okay,” he pressed his lips to the top of her head.

“I know i just … we watched you die in front of us, _so many_ times. Your heart kept stopping,” she hid her face against his shoulder. We didn't know if--”

“It's okay,” he said softly. “I'm here now, I know that was hard for you.”

“I'm sorry, just so much happened while you were gone. Wally stole Oliver's car and he was drag racing again,” her hand knotted into the back of Barry’s shirt.

“Hey, hey,” he rubbed her back gently. “We’ll work through this, we always do. What happened with Wally?”

“He stole Oliver's car and tried to drag race with it, Oliver got him to go home-- I'm so glad he didn't call the police,” she sighed and wiped her eyes. “I was worried at first but you know, I think he's a good guy.”

Barry just let her talk it out.

“I’m sorry, it's just all been building for a while.”

“You never have to apologise, Iris,” he smiled softly at her. “I'm right here with you, okay?”

“How do you do it?”

“Hmm?”

“No matter what happens, you always look at me just like that,” she cupped his cheek. “with your big dumb grin.”

“Because I have you and Wally, and my nephews and my niece. I’m _alive._  Why wouldn't I be happy? Everything will work out, Iris. As long as we have each other we can figure anything out, just like we always have.”

* * *

Cisco outfitted Barry with a friction proof suit that allowed him to run without his clothes catching fire. It was simple, but it even had a communication system built in.

He knew he had to use his gifts for good. He could finally do _more_ be _more_. It terrified and exhilarated him at the same time. It wasn't long before he fell into a routine with Cisco.

“Hey, Green Arrow!” Barry greeted him one day when he was out.

“Who are you?”

“I don't have a name yet, but I'm a hero too. Big fan by the way!” he beamed, his voice disguised by vibrations.

“Thanks … try to stay out of my way, okay?”

“No need to worry about that! I'm fast!” he put his fists on his hips in a triumphant pose.

“You're … fast?”

"Barry zipped around back and forth. “and I'm here to help people!”

Green Arrow laughed. “Well, alright kid,” he crossed his arms, admittedly impressed. “Being a vigilante isn't a game though. Get yourself a proper name for when you're zipping around. There and gone in a Flash.”

“Huh, maybe I could be The Flash,” he mused.

Green Arrow found himself responding to this guy's energy in an unexpected way. It reminded him of someone he couldn't quite place. “Maybe, just don't get yourself killed.”

Something about the Green Arrow seemed _different_. Though Barry couldn't place it.

* * *

It wasn’t long before Barry started to get dizzy spells. The first time he had fainted was when Iris was about to leave for work. Esther had climbed up on the coffee table and nearly fallen off, Barry had used his speed to grab her.

She giggled but Barry suddenly felt light headed, he was lucky enough to land her on the sofa before he went down though.

“Barry! Barry?” Iris was shaking him frantically, getting close to calling nine one one all over again.

“What?” he mumbled weakly as he began to process lights and sounds again, he slowly opened his eyes and say Iris standing over him with a frantic expression.

“Oh, thank god! What happened?” Iris asked, helping him sit up straight.

“I … fainted,” he mumbled. “Where's Esther?” He mumbled weakly.

“She's on the sofa…”

"Thank God, I was holding her when I went down.”

“You fainted?” she sighed. “Okay, look, I'll call off today or see if Wally come com--”

“I'm fine, Iris, really I'm fine,” he sat up straighter and ran a hand down his face. “No need to worry.”

“You passed out on the living room floor! Of course I'm going to worry--”

* * *

“This isn't a good idea, Eddie,” Iris sighed as she finished cutting up some apple slices for E.J’s school snack.

“I think it's a good idea. Iris he fainted in the living room while holding our daughter. I don't think he should be alone.”

“I'm not saying that you're wrong I just don't think Barry would agree to that--”

“What wouldn't I agree to?” Barry suddenly appeared shortly after hoisting E.J up into his arms.

“We were wondering if you would possibly consider moving in with us,” Eddie grinned, avoiding Iris's pointed look.

“Uh,” Barry starred at them. It was certainly out of the blue. Not something he expected to be asked on a Tuesday afternoon. “For how long?”

“We need some help with the kids!” Iris said quickly, moving in front of Eddie.

“I'm really close to getting promoted to editor and Eddie is entering a lot of heavy shifts with all the weird  activity,” Iris gave him a soft smile.

Barry frowned. “Um … my lease is up soon. I'll think about it,” he felt like something was off but didnt want to press it. “Do you need me to stay over tonight? I have mostly forensic reports to write so I can do that anywhere.”

“Oh, we’re fine today I think.”

“Uncle Barry is moving in?” E.J grinned and wrapped his arms around Barry's neck.

“Maybe, baby. We'll see,” Iris smiled.

“I got more dinosaurs!” E.J announced.

“Okay, how about you show uncle Barry your new dinosaurs while daddy and I figure some stuff out.”

Barry frowned a little and set E.J. down. “I'll be up in a minute,” he told him and the boy rushed upstairs. “Is there something you're not telling me?”

“Look, Barr,” Eddie started. “We're worried about the fainting thing. You fainted here _holding our daughter_ , you fainted at Simon Stag's speech…”

“I told you I'm fine--”

“After the year we've all had, can you blame us for not believing that?” Eddie crossed his arms, the bottom of his blazer raising slightly with the action.

Barry reluctantly agreed.

* * *

On a particularly dreary day after Oliver got back from Starling, he reached out to Barry. William had caught some kind of virus from school and had been in bed. He refused to see a regular doctor so Oliver had reported to calling Caitlin to come look at him.

He called Barry as well, he wasn't sure why. It was his first instinct. He wanted Barry there with him. It was hard to look at William like that, feverish and vomiting. He had sat with William by the toilet until Caitlin arrived rubbing his back gently.

When Barry arrived, they were sitting on the cold tile in the upstairs bathroom. “You're not feeling well, Will?” Barry frowned.

William shook his head weakly.

“Okay, well, Caitlin is here to have a look at you and run some tests. I brought saltines and vitamin water for you.”

“Okay.”

Oliver helped William off the floor and into bed. Barry caught a glimpse of a worried look on his face. Barry gave him a pat on the back without saying anything.

Caitlin came in as Barry and Oliver stood at the end of the bed. Oliver's presence was brooding and both Barry and Caitlin could feel him in the room.

“Hey, Oliver, let's go downstairs,” Barry cleared his throat.

“I'm fine here.”

"Oliver,” Barry tugged his arm a little.

Oliver gave in and they headed downstairs.

Barry followed silently.

Caitlin sat down on the edge of William’s bed. “Okay, buddy. We’re going to do a strep test, have you ever had one of those?”

William made a face “You have to shove a cotton swab in my throat.”

“It's really fast, I promise.”

William reluctantly agreed and opened his mouth.

Caitlin did the test quickly and placed it into the small machine she had set on the bedside table just a moment ago. She smiled. “Good news, no strep!”

“That doesn't seem like good news I still don't feel well,” William groaned.

 

Downstairs, Oliver passed a mug of coffee into Barry’s hand. “Two sugars and a cream.”

“Thanks,” Barry nodded and they sat at the kitchen table. “First time your kid gets sick is stressful.”

“I'm fine. I can handle it.”

“You know, when E.J was four: he got this nasty bug from daycare. He had a high fever, and he was vomiting. Iris spent the whole night in the emergency room with him. Eddie was still a beat cop and was on a late shift, so I went instead.”

“Where are you going with this?”

“Iris was terrified, seeing your kid upset and in pain isn't something parents deal with very easily. It's okay to be worried about him.”

“I'm not worried.”

“You were hovering over William and Caitlin like a hawk, or a bear … _papa bear,_ ” he took a sip of his coffee, he tried to get a rise out of Oliver. He wanted to lighten the mood. He smiled softly though, seeing Oliver slip so easily into dad-mode was endearing to him. 

“Don't call me that,” Oliver rolled his eyes, but smiled a little, repressing a laugh.

“Hey, Oliver," He reached out and touched Oliver's hand. "you're in new territory. It's okay to get a little anxious or unnerved.”

“I don't get unnerved,” Oliver's tone was flat now. “I push forward.”

“Yeah, you were doing such a great job of that upstairs with your brooding over Caitlin’s shoulder. Drink your gross, black coffee and then we’ll go back upstairs and check on William again.”

Oliver grumbled something about hownhe ' _doesn't get unnerved_ ' before he finished his mug and set it in the sink. Barry followed him back to Williams room.

“There you are, Oliver,” Caitlin barely glanced up from where she was checking Williams blood pressure. “I would like to give him some Zofran for the nausea and vomiting, and he's a little dehydrated so unless he can keep fluids down I'll have to give him an IV.”

“Zofran?” Oliver looked at Barry.

“Caitlin’s given it to me a hundred times,” Barry nodded once.

“Okay,” Oliver nodded. "Do what you need to do."

“Barry, you should stay here or with me for a few days. Just in case William is contagious, you don't want to bring anything home to the babies.”

 

Barry stayed with Caitlin for the next few days but something felt _different_ about his and Oliver's next few lunch meetings. Barry couldn't place it, Oliver sat a little closer, he wasn't on the other side of the table. He was right up beside him. He met his eyes more and things felt more open. He even managed to make Oliver laugh a few times.

Barry headed home and Eddie laughed when he saw Barry.

“What's funny?” Barry crossed his arms.

“Dude, you look happier than I did when I saw Iris walk down the aisle.”

“Shut up, I do not.”

Eddie grabbed his shoulder. “I'm teasing, come here I need to show you the board.”

Barry and Eddie had always been friends. For the most part. Eddie had once admitted that Barry's closeness to Iris intimidated him. However, they became fast friends.

“Eddie, does he need to learn the board _right now_?” Iris came into view with her briefcase.

“Well, yes, he lives here now,” Eddie pointed out.

Iris shot Barry an apologetic look as Eddie pulled Barry over to the board. “Have you been working out? Your arms are really toned.”

“Y-yes,” Barry mumbled, not only embarrassed by Eddie pointing it out but also trying to lie.

“So, his is the house board. This section is where you write any notes and then there's the calendar in the top half,” he checked something on the other half of the board. “If you leave, let us know you heads out.”

“Okay,” Barry thought the board was kind of dumb, but he didn't say anything. He just smiled and nodded. He wasn't sure what it was about. They didn't have a board when Barry went into the coma.

* * *

Barry wasn’t as fine as he claimed to be.

As he laid on the cot in the medbay, he heard the very distinct sound of Caitlin’s heels clicking on the Cortex floor. He already knew he would be in for it.

“Why didn't you tell me you were having dizzy spells?” Caitlin’s voice came through the medbay. “You could be having any number of issues!” she grabbed the blood pressure cuff from her stand and secured it around his arm. “You could be having a mini stroke!”

“Calm down, I'm sure it's not that bad--”

“It could be that bad, Barry! We don't know anything about your health! Don't you understand how serious this is?” she started to shine a light in his eyes to check his pupils.

“I think I know my own body and would know if I was _dying_.”

“I am the doctor here--”

“Lay off me, alright? You're not my mother, stop,” he gave her a serious look.

The look and his words cut through her. She down hard on her lip and she closed her eyes so Barry wouldn't see her tears well up. “Fine, but don't you dare come crying to me when you break something again!” she turned on her heels and strutted out of the medbay before he could respond.

Barry sighed, recognising right away that he was being harsh. Before he could reply, Cisco spoke up. “If you don't get up and go after her then I don't know you at all,” he crossed his arms.

Barry stood and pulled off the monitors and retrieved his shirt before going off in the direction she disappeared to. After about fifteen minutes, he found her in Cisco’s lab.

“Cait …”

When she turned to face him, she was holding something near her neck tightly in her hands.

“I'm sorry, Cait,” he frowned when he saw her tears start to spill over.

“I don't want to talk, Barry,” she managed.

“I think you need to,” Barry said carefully. “Look, Cisco and I have been trying to give you your space while you work through this-- but it's not working--”

Tears rushed down Caitlin’s face and she hid her face in her arm. She was normally good at keeping things locked away. “I need you to take this seriously. I can't lose anything else. I don't have to tell you that this is my family. You and Cisco and Dr Wells...”

Barry moved closer to her and he caught a glimpse of what was I her hand-- a ring.

“Ronnie,” Barry said quietly.

She tucked the ring back behind her shirt. Her hands came up to frantically wipe her eyes. “I can't lose anyone else, Barry. If you're just going to kill yourself then I won't keep patching you up.”

“I'm sorry, Cait. Look, we're all stressed. I'll be more careful, I'll let you run all the tests you want--”

Caitlin slowly pulled herself together, and eventually found the will to go back into the medbay.

* * *

The following Sunday, the Star Wars theme began to roar out of Barry’s cellphone. He picked it up and glanced at his text messages.

 **Cisco:** _Hey man. Can you swing by for lunch? I'll order a bunch of tacos from Titos._

 **Barry:** _Sure. Just let me know when._

Barry arrived at Cisco’s around eleven, it was earlier than he usually ate but he couldn't shake the feeling that something was off. Cisco was quieter than usual. “Hey,” he set his keys and wallet on the table without a second thought. Landing them beside Cisco and Caitlin's keys and Cisco's wallet before kneeling down to undo his chucks. He left them at the door as well.

“I killed Ronnie.”

“What do you mean?”

“He told me to seal the doors in two minutes to protect everyone-- even if he didn't-- and he never came back. I sealed him inside the particle accelerator. I killed him.”

Barry pulled Cisco closer to him. “Cisco, that is not your fault,” Barry said firmly. “Ronnie sacrificed himself to save everyone. If you hadn't sealed that door he would have gotten someone else too.”

“Caitlin heard him die. Right after he proposed.”

“It's okay, Cisco. It's not your fault. It's no one's fault.”

Barry spent the day with Cisco. He didn't leave, even after the sun went down.

When Cisco fell asleep against Barry, he didn’t move him right away. He couldn't imagine how Cisco felt just locking that up for almost a year. He ge waited for him to settle into a deeper sleep. He then replaced himself with a pillow He put a blanket over him and ran a hand over his hair gently. Which was a _privilege_ , Cisco often joked. He didn't let people touch his hair. When he finished cleaning up the slight mess they'd made of Cisco's apartment he left Cisco a note. 

_If you need anything, call. - Barry_


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[Warnings: mental health, panic attacks, sexuality struggles, minor violence, minor original characters (one only mentioned)  
> AN: This chapter is a bit longer than normal, closer 6.5k words. Others have been closer to 4-5k ]]

The board caused more problems than Barry initially imagined. It caused a _few_ arguments in the house.

“I don't understand why it's so hard for you to text us,” said Iris, typing away on her phone. “No one in this house has time for the board. I love you but we don't. We can convert the board to a group text-- or a secret Facebook group. That's even more organized and everyone can reach it. We can--”

“Because it needs to stay in the kitchen, the hub of the house--”

Barry ducked out of the kitchen, deciding not to get involved. He went to Oliver's instead. It was his day off and he hadn't gotten any Flash calls yet. So he decided he could afford to spend some time with his friend.

Barry spent a good portion of his free time with the Queens. Too much of it, he thought. William was warming up to him again, and it seemed to be faster than before. He was grateful for it. He liked being around Oliver. Even if they both vanished at a moment’s notice. The time they did get to spend together, lunches, the occasional day they made him feel good.

However, it wasn't long until a new meta came along. Barry sat on the sofa with Esther on his day off. They had just watched the same episode of Clifford for the one-hundredth time that afternoon.

He frowned when he saw Iris and Eddie walk in together. “I'm fine, Eddie,” Iris insisted. “You're not a real journalist if you haven't been threatened at least once.”

“Whoah, hold on. Someone threatened you?” Barry was on his feet in an instant.

“It's fine, Barry--”

“It's not fine.”

“It's just Tony Woodward-- what's that look for?”

All the blood drained from Barry’s face. His hand formed a fist at his side. “I have to go,” said Barry, crossing the room and giving Iris a tight hug. “I'm going to take care of-- something.”

 

After trying all of his options, he finally knocked on Oliver's door, after of course checking that he was home.

“Hey, Barr,” he was actually smiling, glad to see Barry.

“I need you to teach me how to fight.”

“I'm sorry?” Oliver cocked his head to one side.

“Caitlin said you took down a mugger. I need you to teach me how to fight. Eddie taught me a little bit but he’s not as good as you according to Caitlin--” Barry started to ramble.

After a few minutes of convincing, Oliver got Barry inside with a coffee mug in his hands. “Now, tell me what's going on.”

“I became a CSI so I could help people, help get criminals off the street,” he sighed and seemed restless. “I'm good at science but I can't even-- I can't protect my family.”

Something pulled at Oliver with that, as much as he hid his reaction. “You want to fight to protect your family?”

“My sister was threatened. I went to the Green Arrow the other day, but he wouldn't help,” Barry had hoped the Green Arrow would help, but he refused.

“Your sister?” He frowned, glancing into the long room, where Thea was sitting with William. “Well … listen, I can't promise to make you into a warrior in three days but-- we could do some training together,” he couldn't say no to Barry, not with his motives and how desperate he seemed.

They made their way downstairs to the basement. It was just as barren as Barry remembered. Oliver had placed a treadmill, training mat and a punching bag in it.

“Where did you learn to fight?” Barry found himself asking as he took in the sight of the room. He remembered he was once terrified to venture here, back when he was a child.

Oliver remained silent for a while. He moved the mats around and did some checks on the bag. He kept it simple, he couldn't exactly have his training room in his house.

“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to drag up anything unpleasant.”

Oliver stayed silent. Barry wasn't Diggle or Roy. He had minimal fighting experience, Oliver needed to focus and keep himself withdrawn.

“Oliver--”

“When I got off the island, I hired someone to teach me some hand to hand combat. Nothing out there,” Oliver began. “I just needed to get back something I lost.”

Barry nodded once and Oliver gestured for him to come to the mat. They spared in nearly slow motion at first, none of their hits really landing.

Oliver was getting Barry used to to the moments, and showing him how to block. “You're small,” Oliver began.

“Oliver, I'm the same height as you,”

“Let me finish.”

Barry waited.

“You don't have a lot a muscle mass, but if you're fast enough you _might_ make up for that--” he dodged one of Barry’s faux hits. “Don't hold back any more, Barry. Hit me like you mean it.”

“I don't know--”

“You said you wanted to protect your family? I'm the threat. Channel that into me and hit me like you mean it.”

Barry remembered what Eddie told him, _drive through focusing on a spot behind the target._ Barry threw his whole body forward-- he hit the mat.

Oliver had pinned him before Barry could even process what had happened. He huffed. “You really are good at this.”

“Yeah,” Oliver agreed reluctantly.

 

As the days went on, Oliver strived to teach Barry more and more about not only defence but some offence as well.

“You're like a video game, increasing difficulty on me.”

Oliver pulled his shirt over his head and let it fall to the floor. “Don't worry, I'm still holding back. I won't actually hurt you.”

“I'm not worried,” Barry rolled his eyes but stopped when he turned to face Oliver. His eyes widened as he took in the site of Oliver’s shirtless form before him. He slowly reached towards him, his fingertips nearly reaching the long scar on his abdomen.

His first instinct to help. He didn't know how he would, it was a scar. Whatever it was, but there was no helping now, was there? The fact didn't stop Barry from _wanting_ to though.

When he realised what he was about to do, he stopped and pulled back. “I'm sorry I didn't--”

“It's okay,” Oliver shook his head. “people have touched them before.”

He cleared his throat. “May I?” his voice was quiet and calculating. He was always careful not to push Oliver too far about his trauma. He wanted Oliver to feel comfortable and unpressured around him.

“You're the first person to ask.”

Barry met his eyes and lowered his hand again. “Are you ready to train?” he didn't get a ‘yes’, so he withdrew.

“If that's what you want to do,” Oliver almost felt disappointed when Barry neglected to touch him, but also relieved. It was a conflicting set of feelings that he decided to bury instead of deal with.

Barry was getting stronger, a little faster too. Well, his own speed untouched by the Speed Force was improving. He was still clumsy but he was becoming more refined.

Oliver had certainly noticed a change in Barry since he'd gotten a new lease on life. He was bolder, and he seemed more free. Barry had always seemed happy, but there was always new confidence and Oliver was drinking it up. He loved this new Barry,  though it wasn’t like a new Barry. Just a less diluted Barry. This one seemed more _himself_. It was a breath of fresh air.

He wanted Barry to continue getting stronger, he didn't want this threat on Barry's family to continue to dim his light. He envied Barry's ability to come out of hell with a smile. It almost made him bitter, but being with Barry gave him even more of a reason to fight off his own darkness.

* * *

After just two weeks of training, Barry was considerably stronger and it impressed Oliver greatly. Not that he would admit it. “I'm going to stop holding back now,” it was a lie of course. He would never flaunt his lessons from Slade and Talia Al Ghul to Barry if he could help it. He wouldn't show Barry his darkness.

They spared for hours this time, back and forth. Barry dodging a lot of Oliver's advances, but also only landing one or two. Barry was impressed by his skill, even if it wasn't anything fancy. It looked to him like Oliver just knew some boxing and self-defence. He was blissfully unaware of the skills that had been trained into Oliver's muscle memory.

 

When Barry confronted Tony, it was after he’d taken Iris. Which only gave him the motivation to fight harder. He didn't feel comfortable doing this alone. He remembered what Oliver had told him during one of their training sessions about being impulsive. He would get back up as fast as he could.

“Green Arrow? I need your help.”

The leather-clad man turned to face The Flash. “How did you find me?”

“There's a woman who's in danger from a metahuman. Please, he turns to metal and I don't know how to handle him on my own.”

The Green Arrow picked up his bow, but also grabbed a different quiver than he usually used. “Can you take me?” he asked after a moment's hesitation. He didn't know very much about the Flash yet, and he was hesitant. However, in the end, he decided to trust him.

They arrived at the school, quickly forcing their way inside. “Come back for another beating?” Tony capped his hands and his skin took on a metallic sheen.

“Green Arrow, he's denser than steel lookout--” Flash dodged a hit from Tony.

“I'm going to try something,” the Green Arrow’s robotic voice cut through the room. “Flash, get the girl out of the way--” Oliver turned and saw Iris. He halted. “Ir--”

Flash registered his momentary emotional reaction but he couldn't focus on it then. He rushed to Iris’s side. “We have to get out of the way.”

Iris hesitated but trusted the Hero of Central City. She was rushed out the doors and Oliver fired an explosive arrow onto the metal man before him.

"Flash, hit him now!” The Green Arrow growled out the words and Barry reacted, getting a running start before circling around and letting his fist collide with Tony's normal face. He dropped.

Flash started to catch his breath. “Thank you.”

The Green Arrow nodded. “This is my city too, now.”

* * *

Barry arrived at the Queen house, he was surprised that Thea’s boyfriend answered the door with her. He vaguely remembered that his name was _Roy_. Oliver seldom spoke of him and he'd only heard his name said a few times. Roy was tall, about as tall as Oliver. He was also blond, with a bit of stubble. He had that same square-jawed face Oliver had. Of course, the two men looked almost strikingly different otherwise, but they both had that vibe.

Thea grinned when she saw him. “Come on in, Barry,” she moved to the side to let him in. “Oliver! That CSI is here.”

Oliver appeared in the front room. “You could just call him my friend.”

“You'd have to actually have friends for me to do that.”

“ _Ouch_ ,” Oliver feigned offence, a hand on his chest for added dramatics.

“You two are lame,” Roy gave one breathy laugh.

“You're an only child you wouldn't understand,” she kissed his cheek.

Oliver pointedly looked away from them. He was clearly uncomfortable. He turned his attention instead, to Barry. “So, what brings you by?”

Barry laughed at the familiar scene and shut the door behind him. “A friend of mine got a job at the field museum and I was thinking if William was feeling up to it, we could go this afternoon? I got tickets but E.J doesn't want to go.”

“I'll ask him,” Oliver nodded and waved Barry to follow him.

William eagerly agreed to go to the field museum with his father and Barry. When they arrived, Oliver stuck close to William, almost touching him at all times. Barry tried his best to put Oliver at ease. When William was distracted by a soil display, Barry nudged Oliver’s arm lightly. A quick jerk of his head was enough to indicate he wanted to speak with him privately.

Oliver hesitated, glancing at his entranced son before retreating a few feet back. “What is it?” he kept his eyes on his son.

“Is this the first time you and William went out somewhere together?” Barry dared to ask. Oliver usually responded to personal questions with either a vague answer or something indicating he wasn't comfortable talking about it just yet.

“Yes, I mean … while you were in the coma we went out places but nothing like this. Nothing-- there's so many people. I don't want him to get lost or overwhelmed--”

“Ollie,” Barry placed a hand on his shoulder. “look at me, there are two of us here for William. If he needs something, one of us will be here for him.”

“I know--”

“Do you trust me?” Barry squeezed his shoulder.

Oliver's expression softened. “Yes,” he surprised even himself with his answer.

“Listen to me, we've got this, okay?” Barry paused. This felt different. This was different from when Barry came over in the mornings or dropped by to make them dinner. He had spent time with William before he was there, and to help Oliver.

“You're right.”

Now, they were pointedly going out, and making an effort to take care of William _together_ . This was different. This felt like crossing lines. _This is so different_. Even the way Oliver looked at him felt different to Barry, like he was relying on him. Had he always looked at Barry like that? Oliver didn't even like admitting he needed help.

Oliver crossed the room again but gave William a medium birth. He placed a hand on his shoulder for a moment. “Are you having fun?” Oliver asked with a smile, seeming to relax more.

Barry found himself holding his breath. Less than an hour later Oliver was actually _smiling_. It made Barry feel more at ease as well. Soon they arrived in the bug and insect room. They both enjoyed watching William get excited.

“Hey!” a tall brunette woman waved from the end of the room. She wore a polo shirt with a name tag identifying her as Hannah. “Barry!”

Barry tapped Oliver on the shoulder. “That's my friend Hannah.”

“I know who she is,” Oliver smiled and gave her a reserved wave.

“Hey,” Barry smiled and broke off from his trio slightly. “How are you?”

“I'm doing great! Getting ready to tell a group of fourth graders about bees!” she adjusted the stack of pamphlets in her hand. “They're gonna be here in a half hour-- Hi Oliver!” she waved a little more exuberantly than he did.

 _Another cute nerd_ Oliver thought with a laugh. He hadn't really gotten a chance to get to know Hannah. All he really knew about her was that she studied insects of some sort and she was very excited about it. She was nice, Oliver remembered from their brief interactions. “It's nice to see you again, Hannah.”

“Oliver and I think I see William back there-” she smiled at William who was focused on one of the displays of beatles. “No E.J?” she was looking at Barry now.

“No, thanks so much for the passes though,” Barry watched Oliver walk off towards a glass case with a large centipede inside.

Hannah nudged his arm. “So,” she crossed her arms. “What's going on with that,” she gestured to Oliver with the pamphlets in her hands.

“I … don't know,” Barry stuffed his hands into his pockets. “I don't think it's about anything--but sometimes things feel … _different_. I mean.”

“I meant what made you drag them here instead of E.J but it's good to know you've got a crush.”

“You always were easy to talk to,” Barry gave a small laugh. “I knew William would use one of the tickets. I didn't want them to go to waste when E.j refused to go.”

“Ah, yes. I'm remembering when you suddenly told me your entire life story at four am. Then you cried in my lap, then you cried harder because I was being _so nice_ and you _loved me so much_ because I was touching your hair,” she looked off into the distance for added effect like she was recalling a fond memory.

“You were my best friend in college. Of course, I loved you. Yeah, well, I still don't know what the hell was in those drinks you guys gave me,” he laughed softly.

“Barry, it was a super sugary mixed drink. You're just a lightweight.”

 _Not anymore_ Barry thought with a sigh. Remembering that he can't really drink anymore. “Right.”

“Are you okay?”

“I don't know. I just wish I could shake this feeling…” he closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose between his forefinger and thumb.

"I don't know if I should tell you this but ... Liam got a job here too. Not in today or I wouldn't have invited you-- He asked me about you."

"What did you say to him?"

"Nothing. It's none if his business what you're up to now."

“We should talk about this later, I think your fourth graders are here.”

As if on cue, a bunch of school-aged kids burst into the room. They were loud, and they moved fast, covering every inch of the room at once. Barry left Hannah to do her presentation before heading over to William and Oliver.

 

“Will you hold my hand? It's loud,” William said quietly.

“Of course,” Oliver took his hand and held it securely in his.

“Do you want to go into the next room? I think there's some fish and it's quieter.”

William nodded once, he closed his eyes for a second and started trying to collect himself like Barry taught before the coma. “Okay, I want to go into the next room.”

They went into the next room, easily finding themselves a tank to look at. The one they found was full of mantis shrimp. “Can we get a fish tank at home, Dad?”

“Absolutely. Your grandmother loved fish,” Oliver recalled. “She used to have a really big one in hers and your grandpa's bedroom.”

“Do you have any pictures of grandma?” William asked suddenly.

“I'm sure I have them somewhere,” the question seemed to make Oliver shut down slightly. It was barely noticeable, but Barry picked up on it.

“You know, William,” said Barry. “I used to keep fish as a kid. I had some clownfish and a few shrimp too.”

“That's really neat!” they laughed into a discussion about the care of saltwater tanks. Oliver was grateful for the change of subject as they moved through the aquatic room.

When they reached the activity room, Barry picked up a plexiglass tube with a white cap on each end. “Hey, William, come look at this.”

“What's that?” Oliver asked, clearly _trying_ to be interested. Barry could see he was trying but knew by the look on his face that it looked like nothing more than a tube of dirt to him.

“It's a sedimentation tube,” Barry held it where William could see. He shook it, scattering its contents into a tan mush. He then set it on the table. “The rocks are already starting to settle to the bottom.” he pointed to the stones, barely visible in the murky water.

“We learned about sedimentation in school,” William began to explain the process to Oliver.

Soon, the room was absolutely flooded with kids, One of them ran right into William, hard enough to jolt him. The sedimentation tube fell to the floor and Barry watched as William’s eyes unfocused slightly. Panic.

He grabbed Oliver’s arm tightly. Oliver felt the pressure and glanced down. “Dad,” he rasped, pressing his face against Oliver’s arm.

“Hey, it's okay.”

“I want to leave. Please, I want to leave,” he begged, pulling on Oliver's sleeve.

“We can leave right now, buddy,” Oliver insisted. He tried to remember what he'd learned from Barry and the professionals about grounding him. He found himself glancing at Barry. He mentally cursed himself.

He didn't like this. Oliver hated not being in complete control of the situation. Seeing William in distress was activating his own anxieties. He ended up looking for Barry’s reaction. He didn't want Barry to think he couldn't do this.

Barry nodded once. It occurred to Oliver that Barry thought he was looking for support, rather than just the opposite.

He quickly collected himself and placed his hands on William’s shoulders. “Listen, kiddo. Look at me, okay?” he squeezed his shoulders gently. “You're here with me, look at me.”

William met his eyes with difficulty.

“We’re going to go home right now, I promise. I need you to be strong for me, okay? Focus just on me, and we'll get out, but you need to work with me.”

“If we go to the left room, we’ll get back to the front faster,” Barry chimed in.

They made their way out and got William into the back seat of the car. Oliver sat with him, holding his hand in both of his. “It will pass,” Oliver said gently.

“I can drive,” Barry offered and took them home.

* * *

Barry stayed with them until William was settled. He texted Iris to let him know he would be late and then went to work on making dinner. “William, if you need something to do your hands come in here and help me start the noodles while we wait for your dad to finish his paperwork.”

William appeared in the kitchen and came to stand behind Barry. “What should I do?”

“How about you pick some music for us?” he smiled openly and passed William his phone. “Go ahead and put on whatever you like.”

William pulled out his own phone and pulled up an app while Barry set some things up on the counter. A synthesized melody that Barry didn't recognise flowed through the high-end speaker on the counter.

“Who's this?” Barry asked as he had William start the water boiling on the stove.  
  
“Troye Sivan,” he turned the volume down a little. “You don't know Troye Sivan?”  
  
“I'm _supposed_ to know him? I'm getting old,” he shook his head a little. “It's not too bad though. How are you feeling?” he glanced at William while he stirred the noodles.

“I feel a lot better now. I'm tired though.”

“That's okay, you had a long day.”

William began to mumble under his breath softly.

“Do you like singing?” Barry asked as he dumped the noodles into the pot.

“Only sometimes,” William answered, and the kitchen become silent again.

“I like to sing too,” Barry found himself admitting. “Do you know Queen?”

“I don't know who that is.”

“Excuse me,” Barry popped his head into the other room where Oliver was dealing with paperwork before helping in the kitchen. “Oliver Jonas Queen, why doesn't your son know about Queen?”

“What?”

“William doesn't know who Queen is. Freddie Mercury is legend.”

“William,” Oliver came to stand in the doorway abandoning his paperwork completely. “You know who Queen is. We listen to them in the car sometimes. We Will Rock You.”

“Oh!” William nodded. “I know who Queen is.”

“You're off the hook, _for now_ ,” Barry squinted at him in a judgmental way.

“My kid knows who Queen is,” Oliver said defensively and came fully into the room as a soft base strumming started. He started to add things to the pot at Barry’s instruction.

By the time dinner was finished, William and Barry were singing softly as they set the table and Oliver helped and watched them with a smile.

“William really missed you,” said Oliver when William had gone to bed. “You reached him.”

“He's a good kid,”  they stood awkwardly in the living room.

“Do you want coffee?” Oliver offered.

 _Coffee? At eight-thirty? Friends don't make excuses for you to stay this late._ He tried to force those thoughts aside. “Coffee sounds great.”

Oliver headed into the kitchen and started to work one of the most complex coffee makers Barry had ever seen. If it wasn't for Iris’s first job at Jitters Barry would have no idea what the thing was.

Oliver handed Barry a hot mug, already knowing how Barry took his coffee. “Can I ask you a question?” he managed when they sound a seat in the living room.

“Ask away,” Barry shot him an endearing grin.

“You mentioned before that you were off the market these days?” Oliver took a sip of his coffee, it was black. He never added anything to it. “I was wondering why. I couldn't help but notice you're a bit of a romantic and you love kids, and I've seen the way you look at your family.”

“I don't know,” Barry half lied. It was hard to let people in like that. A lot of guys were scared off by Barry's past and his obsession with his mother's case. “There isn't really anything desirable about a grown man who likes to chase bigfoot.”

“You're so much more than that, Barry,” Oliver didn't even skip a beat.

Barry laughed. “Well, thank you for saying so…”

“I just mea-- never mind.”

“No, I know. I'm sorry I'm being a little bit of a downer. If I'm being honest, it's hard to let people in. I'm sure you understand that better than anyone. The last guy I dated …” Barry closed his eyes for a moment, flinching slightly at the unpleasant memories.

“I'm sorry if I drug something up--”

“No, no. It's okay, I just … I don't think I'm going to get that.”

“Thank you for coming,” said Oliver after a few moments. “It's … always good to have you around.”

It had taken a long time but Barry was finally somewhat comfortable in that room. It certainly helped that Oliver had redecorated the entire house. He rested a hand on Oliver’s and smiled a little.

Oliver put a hand over Barry’s, gently running his thumb along it, but he didn't say anything. He really enjoyed having Barry around, more than he had expected to. He was surprised that he had reached out to him like this.

Barry looked at their hands for a moment and when he glanced back up, Oliver was looking at him. His expression was calculating as he thought over his next actions carefully. He hadn't planned on letting himself get so attached to Barry, and he wasn't sure how he felt about that.

“What?” Barry laughed a little at his serious expression.

He knew how he felt about Barry though. That he was certain of. He wanted this. He wanted Barry's gentle touches and his big stupid grin … even if he felt he shouldn't.

His life didn't allow for something like this. Even when he couldn't deny it anymore and he craved this quirky CSI and his stupid grin like air. He knew it wouldn't end well for either of them. He was the Green Arrow and Oliver Queen, he wasn't allowed to get what he wanted.

… but then Barry looked at him, head cocked slightly, waiting for an answer. He felt like he could. He had to _try_. Suddenly Oliver didn't care about anything else. It was all background noise as he slowly leaned in and caught Barry’s lips with his own. Just once the first time, slow and calculating. When Barry responded openly, he gave Barry another.

Barry hesitated, but it was from feeling Oliver's own hesitation. He could feel the tension in the kiss. He responded. He brought one of his hands up to pull Oliver closer to him. He couldn't remember the last time he had been kissed like this. _College_ , he decided. The kiss wasn't rushed and sloppy or expecting something more, it just _was_.

Oliver relaxed into the kiss, he felt _free_. For the first time in decades. He felt the weight of ignoring things he wanted. He wanted Barry, and he felt relief in letting himself want Barry. He continued to kiss Barry until--

Hot liquid spilled onto his thigh and he winced.

“I'm so sorry!” Barry set his mug on the table and scrambled for some tissues, but Oliver was laughing. It was a light hardy laugh that surprised Barry.

Oliver leaned in and kissed Barry again, moving to straddle his lap and pull Barry a little closer to him. This kiss was a little more heated than the first but Barry kept up without issue. His head was wheeling.

Oliver hadn't intended to let things move this fast. Though, he also hadn't expected this deep need to drink Barry in. To inhale him. His need to get closer to Barry was clouding his judgement.

Barry pulled back once he gathered himself. “Wait,” his breathing came in shallow pants. “slow down.”

Oliver’s hands fell from Barry’s face. “Sorry I just … I was thinking about doing that for a while.” he was done pretending Barry didn't mean anything. It was too far for that. He couldn't act like Barry was just anyone else anymore.

“That just … I was surprised--I’m sorry um--.”

Oliver seemed to be shutting down, he pulled away slightly and returned to his seat beside Barry. “I suppose that was a bit-- random.” his phone went off. “I have to take this,” Oliver pulled out his phone. “Roy? Yes. I'll be right there. Yes, Thea is fine she's in her room, yes, right. Bye.”

Oliver had to disappear again.

* * *

Barry leaned back in his seat at big Belly burger the following afternoon. His phone was in his hand, but he didn't do anything with it. He was debating on texting Oliver, as he hadn't heard from him since the previous afternoon. Instead, he glanced out the window tearing his eyes away from the phone.

“Sorry, I'm late!” Iris’s voice pulled him from his thoughts.

He glanced up to see Iris and Wally joining him in the small booth. “You're fine. I was just thinking.”

“About?” Wally pressed.

“At the risk of sounding like a high schooler, I was thinking about a guy,” he found himself admitting as he slid his phone back into his pocket.

“Barry Allen thinking about a guy?” Iris gave him an amused smile. “This is new. Tell me about him!”  
  
Barry ordered their food, knowing both their usuals before looking back to her. He thought for a second. He couldn't out Oliver. “It's a really complicated situation.”  
  
“Well, luckily for you: It's my day off.” Iris laughed.  
  
“Me too! You haven't talked about anyone since … high school? College? Last time you had a boyfriend, or told us about your dates I was a baby," Wally chimed in.  
  
“You're still a baby,” Iris retorted.  
  
“Are you saying I’m a baby, with a baby?”  
  
“That's exactly what we're saying, Walls," Barry grinned. “Sorry, bud. We don't make the rules.”

“That didn't distract me though, Barry!” Iris pointed at him.

Barry sighed, knowing Iris wouldn't let it go. “Well … I was with a guy recently and he kissed me.”

“Have you never kissed a guy before?” Wally took a sip of his water. “You dated that dude in college …

“Of course I have. This was just … I was _trying_ to not think of this guy like that because I thought he was straight,” he sighed and rubbed his temples. “He’s always all over women and I’ve never seen him look at a guy-- plus he knows I’m gay and never said anything about it … Also, it was awkward because we weren't even alone.”

“That _is_ awkward.”

“I just don't know what he was doing. I don't want to be someone's experiment, you know?” he picked at his fries but honestly wasn't eating much. “I've been down that road and it's not fun.”

“You should just talk to him about it,” Iris shrugged her shoulders.

Barry’s phone dinged and he retrieved it from his pocket. _Of course, he texts me now_. He sighed and opened the text.

 **Oliver:** _Hey. My behaviour the other day may have been out of character. I hope I didn't cross a line again. I know I'm good at that._

“Is it him?” Iris asked casually.

“Yeah, I'm just gonna...” He started to type a reply.

 **Barry:** _You don't need to apologise to me, but I'm sorry if I wasn't clear that I'm not interested in anything casual._

 **Oliver:** _Nothing about you is casual to me._

 **Barry:** _We should talk about this in person._

 **Oliver:** _You can come by now if you want._

 **Barry:** _I'm at lunch with my family, but I'll reach out to you soon._

 **Oliver:** _Okay. Talk soon._

“He wants to talk about it,” Barry told them. “Which is more than I expected.”

“Do I get to know who this mystery man is?” Wally asked casually.

“You know I don't out people, Wally.”

“I know … you seem to like this guy though.”

“I don't know how I feel about him,” Barry shrugged his shoulders. “I tried not to look at him like that … but looking back now I don't think this is anything new.”

* * *

When Barry and Oliver finally met up, Barry rubbed his hands together. “What was the other day all about?” his hands came apart again and he thought for a moment. “We need to talk about it.”

“I’m not great with words, I'm sure you've figured that out.” Oliver shrugged. “I want you in my life, Barry. I want us to be together. You're good for me, and I'm trying to be good for you.”

“Are you out?” Barry stuffed his hands into his pockets. “You've never given me any indication … I mean I know we crossed lines sometimes but you never really told me you had feelings for me.”

“You and my sister are the only ones who know I ...” he kept stopping himself. Barry could tell this was a difficult conversation for him. So he tried not to push too hard.

“Was that you … trying to?” Barry asked carefully. He had never seen Oliver be truly vulnerable with him, not to this level. He tried to tread carefully. He feared one wrong move could bring Oliver’s walls back up.

He tried to imagine what it must have been like … revealing something like that after that many years. He remembered Oliver saying once that he was in his thirties.

“I have a role to play, I can't be all of this and be--have you.”

“Then I'm sorry but regardless of what we have between us-- I won't deny there is something … I can't be anything more than friends with you, Ollie.” He frowned a bit. “If you ever decided you would, I'll be there for you and I'm always here for you … but I can't be with you like that under these circumstances.”

“Why not?” Oliver’s eyebrows pulled together.

“Because our feelings aren't shameful, and I won't act like they are.”

“I never said there was anything shameful about this--”

“You implied it when you decided it should be kept where no one can see,” Barry explained. “I'm sorry, Oliver, I've worked too hard on myself to just go back in the closet again. I care about you … but I can't.”

“If that's how you feel,” Oliver’s mouth went dry. He took a deep breath and ran a hand over his hair, trying to contain his reaction. It hurt. This was what rejection felt like? He hadn't felt it in years, because he had never really tried with anyone that mattered.

“It is, I'm sorry.”

Oliver frowned deeply and stuffed his hands into his pockets. “No, no. You have nothing to apologise for. It's better that you were honest with me now.”

Barry left with a bitter taste in his mouth. Of course, things were too good to be true. Of course, Oliver would never be with him like that. Not openly. He bit his lip. He _liked_ Oliver, as much as he fought against it. He liked him, maybe he could even loved him. He wondered if it made him self-righteous to want, no, _need_ , to know if Oliver hurt as much as he did right now. Or was this just a game for him?  
  
It wasn't that he wanted to have _hurt_ Oliver. But he felt a hard sting in his chest. He really could have loved Oliver if he let himself. Who wouldn't? The Oliver Barry had watched grow into not only a genuinely good person but a good father? He was still rough around the edges, but he tried. Barry could see that in his heart, couldn't he?

How could he not love him? So, he wanted to know if Oliver was telling the truth when he said Barry wasn't causal to him. He felt his mouth go dry and a few tears slipped down his cheeks.  
  
_You barely know him_. Barry mentally kicked himself, trying to minimise the last four months as much as he could. That wasn't even counting the nine months that Oliver stuck with him and even with his family. He wanted to push those thoughts down.

 

Oliver sat down on the sofa and mentally cursed himself. He had ruined everything. Why was he surprised? Everything he touched burned. He had trusted Barry, let him close. He had wanted to bring him closer. He wanted to tell him things he couldn't tell other people.

He blew that now, probably. He had gotten so swept away in their mornings spent together and their lunch ‘dates’. He had _almost_ started to feel like he had a normal life with someone. Someone untouched by his sins.

 

When Barry walked into the door at home. He hoped he would be the only one there. He was corrected when he headed into the kitchen to get a glass of water. He needed to cool off, to _think_. He wouldn't abandon Oliver, and logically he knew this wasn't about him.

But it still hurt.

“How did things go with the gu--” Iris stopped when their eyes met and she saw the tears in his eyes.

His eyes were reddened around the edges and he wiped them on his sleeve again. “I would rather not talk about it.”

“He's an idiot--”

“ _I_ rejected _him_ , Iris.”

“Then wh--”

“He wanted us to hide,” Barry sighed and ran a hand over his hair. “and I can't do that. I won't. I also can't watch him like this. The guy couldn't even say the word ‘gay’.”

Iris sighed and crossed her arms. “You'll find someone, Barr, and he'll be okay.”

“I have everything I need here,” he smiled. “I think I need a shower, then maybe I can take the kids out for ice cream?”

“Sure, Barr,” she smiled sadly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[AN: Sorry this chapter had me hung up for a bit. I couldn't get confident in it for the life of me. Feedback is always welcome and appreciated! Thanks for coming back for this chapter!]]


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry and Oliver have another heart to heart. Thea is kind of tired of watching her brother play house. New threats rear their heads.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[Warnings: Violence, trauma, 
> 
> AN: bottom]]]

Barry waited a day before calling Oliver. It was late, but he knew Oliver would be awake.

“Hello?” it was William who answered.

“Hey slugger, it’s Mr Allen. Is everything okay?”

“Everything is fine! Dad’s going back to Star City for a bit so he's packing,” William’s tone was casual, he was almost used to his father leaving town last minute.

“Okay. Can I talk to him?”

“Let me see--” William held the phone against his shoulder and Barry could hear the fabric scratching on the receiver. “ ** _DAD!_ ** ”

William didn't seem to want to go _find_ his dad so Barry settled on telling the young teenager to have Oliver call. Which he hoped would go well. He didn't really want to text him about the station in case William saw.

* * *

The next evening, Barry was asleep but the tone woke him up. He glanced at his phone and saw it was Oliver through his sleepy haze. He picked it up right away. “Hey, Ollie … lemme sit up,” his eyes barely open as he forced himself awake “thanks so much for calling me back. I know you're busy but--”  
  
Oliver didn't have time to let his guard down and enjoy his name on Barry's lips. Any other time the sleepy tone may have made him feel something. “Calling you back?” his eyebrows pulled together as he flipped up his hood and starred out over Star city. Only lights coming from windows and lamp posts.  
  
“Yes … I called last night and William said he would tell you,” something felt heavy. He couldn't quite explain it. Oliver felt different to him.  
  
“He didn't. That's not why I'm calling.”  
  
“Oh,” Barry nodded. “You go first then.”  
  
“I wanted to make sure that you knew I wasn't playing games. I meant it when I said you weren't casual.”  
  
“Okay,” Barry nodded. “Thanks and I just had a few things to say.”  
  
“I don't have much time, I have … something important to take care of,” his tone was distant and serious. Which didn't help Barry’s nerves.  
  
“I’ll talk fast. Listen, Oliver. Thea has told me you have this habit of pushing people away, and I need you to know that you can't push me away. Okay? I know what it's like to feel like you have to protect yourself even from people who care or say they do,” he stared out the window as he spoke, the night pitch black, all he saw was his own reflection. “Even if things are confusing between us. I'm still on your side. I'm always gonna be on your side.”

“Thank you, Barry.”

“When you get back, I think we should get coffee and talk again. I have some things I can't say over the phone and I know you have things to take care of. William needs you too.”

When they hung up, things still felt heavy, and Barry couldn't sleep. He got up and headed downstairs to the kitchen. He was surprised to see the light on.

Sitting at the island with a low glow on his face was Eddie. He glanced up when Barry walked in and ditched his glass of water. “Hey Barr, I just got home from a double.”

“Yeah, I read the board,” Barry teased, Eddie had left a note for the house that he was working a double. “I'll get E.J from school tomorrow if you want to sleep in.”

“I got it. Thanks though. I'll see you in the morning.” He waved him off.

* * *

It only took a day and a half for the article to make its way to Barry.

 

**Green Arrow Takes Down Biggest Foe To Date**

_Two nights ago the SCPD received a gift from our City’s vigilante. A crime boss named Matthew Lyn who called himself_ **_The Producer_ ** _. He and his men have wreaked havoc on the glades, collecting a high body count for the last year, but remained untouched. Not much is known about him besides the damage he has caused to the city._

 _We at the Star City Observer, personally thank the Green Arrow for his service to this city and his willingness to do what SCPD_ **_cannot_ ** _and often_ **_will not_ ** _. Many lives have been saved._

An itch began to form in the back of Barry’s head as he turned his evidence board around and added the article to his information about the Green Arrow. Why did this stick out to him? Right. Oliver was in Starling when this went down. He brushed it off as coincidence.

When Oliver came back into town, he made plans with Barry as soon as he could. They sat down and they talked for a while.

“I think … I think you need to be honest with yourself, Oliver,” he wanted to reach out to Oliver, he wished he knew what to say but he didn't. He didn't know what to do. “I mean you were locking yourself up even before as you tried to tell me.”.

“Please don't say anything.”

“I won't tell anyone,” Barry promised, reaching out to touch his arm gently. “I meant what I said, about being on your side.”

Oliver withdrew from the touch. Which Barry understood and didn't press. He just ran a hand through his hair and looked down. “Listen … I really hope you can figure this out. If this is part what prevents you from being happy.”

“I am happy.”

“You're not, Oliver, and I'm starting to think it goes deeper than the island. Or more than you're telling me, and if that's the case, you know I would never force you to talk. I'm just going to tell you again that you don't need to push me away. I'm not afraid of your demons.”

Because even if they didn't sort things out. He wanted Oliver _happy_. Or at least, as close as he could get to it. Even with the sting in his chest. He wanted Oliver to let his guard down, to let things out. He wanted Oliver to breathe. Barry couldn't help him down, and he wouldn't.

“Do you want to come by and spar again?” Oliver asked suddenly, a brief lapse in judgement. “Your next day off, while William is at school.”

“I would love to,” he nodded.

* * *

Barry quickly threw himself into his hero work. He started working alongside the Green Arrow, much to the vigilante’s annoyance at first.

Barry was bold under the mask, he was a bit flirty and daring when he wanted to be. He could also be a bit of a trickster. He quickly formed an alliance with the Green Arrow.

It was something he could help. Especially with the urge to show off for the Green Arrow, part of him wanted to impress his idol.

“Do you have family?” The Flash found himself asking one night when he saw the Green Arrow on patrol.

“No.”

“I'm sorry. You have me, though, anytime anywhere,” he offered with a small smile.

They had deep conversations about the lives of heroes. Though the Green Arrow always seemed to stay at arm's length. Occasionally, he opened up or even responded to the flirty lines that The Flash couldn't help but throw at him. It was sadly though, never anything that personified the Green Arrow, and maybe it was the mystery that drew Barry in.

However, Barry learned quickly that the two just operated differently. It was easy to see. Flash always wanted to find the best option, Green Arrow was already ready for a fight, ready for anything. He often scolded Flash for rushing in without a plan.

That's what lead them to this situation. Green Arrow had just ripped two rigged arrows out of Flash’s back. Flash roared in pain. Thanking the universe for his fast healing.

“ _Ow_!” he protested. “You shot me!”

“You agreed to this training, I'm not responsible for you not casing your surroundings. You have the time. We've talked about this over a dozen times,” he sounded annoyed, even with the tech disguising his voice.

“I didn't expect you to shoot me in the back! I _trust_ you!”

That took him back a bit. He stepped back once and paused. Flash had been getting good at reading Green Arrow. He was started to tell the difference between his different types of silences. This was a stunned silence. He had never seen this one before. He was usually so locked up and composed.

“What?”

“Why do you trust me?” he slowly lowered his bow.

“Because we’re on the same side. We’re heroes.”

“I'm _not_ a hero. We aren't the same.”

Flash crossed his arms. “How do you figure that?” he was so confused to hear that. He almost stopped vibrating his face and voice.

“You're a guardian angel, watching over your city, bringing hope-- It reminds me of someone I know. That's not what I do.”

“You help people--”

“I'm driven by darkness and righting past wrongs. We are opposites.”

Flash stopped, he bad noticed a certain darkness in Green Arrow when he fought, but he never thought anything of it. “I don't believe it. You help me protect this city.”

“I was trained to _kill_. I know how to kill someone the moment I look at them, and I've done it.”

“That's not who you are though,” he stepped closer. “if you were evil, you wouldn't work with me. You wouldn't protect this city with me--”

“There is a darkness inside of me--”

“I don't care where you got your skills, you use them to help--”

“You're naive.”

“I believe in you, Green Arrow.”

* * *

Cisco was seething. “My beautiful suit--!”

“Isn't it _my_ suit?”

“I was going to consider calling it our suit, but then you go and treat it like this!” Tears welled up the corners of his eyes. “my baby.”

“Look, I was training with the Green Arrow--”

“The Green Arrow did this?”

“Yes.”

“Fuck the Green Arrow.”

* * *

 Green Arrow moved downwards in what was once one of the public pools of central city. Flash coated the edges of the pool in a slippery substance. “I didn't know you were a plant guy too.”

“I'm not. My son once told me about carnivorous plants.”

Flash stopped. “Your son?”

“Yes,” the Green Arrow continued to check the area.”Did you really think I knew anything about plants on my own?” they were in the middle of trying to track down a meta with insect derived powers, who could somehow also control insects.

"Anyway, the guy who made my suit says you're not welcome at our headquarters after what you did to my suit."

"I don't know why I would ever go there in the first place."

* * *

_Thud._

Barry and Oliver were working up a sweat in the basement of Oliver's house. Barry landed a hit on Oliver’s arm, but it didn't even move him. Barry admired how stable he could stay when they would spar.

Oliver called a time out, and he found that holding out as as tiring for him as it was for Barry. He pulled his shirt over his head; revealing his scars to Barry once more. He tossed his shirt to the side and they got back to it.

_Blocked._

_Blocked._

_Dodged._

“I thought I was getting better,” Barry’s breath came in heavy pants.

“You are,” Oliver encouraged. “Every day.”

“Oliver, I want to ask you something.”

“Okay.”

“When you said you learned how to fight to get back something you lost on the island,” Barry started, falling back and lowering his fists. “You didn't lose it, did you? It was taken.” he nodded to the scar on Oliver's abdomen.

“That's correct.”

“That's one of the things you carry around, then? The evil that hides in people.”

“The world is dark, you can't trust anyone.” _not even me._ “humans are unpredictable and capable of dark things.” _I know better than anyone._ “I needed to protect myself, so I adapted.”

“ _T_ _he world isn't perfect, but it's there for us. Doing the best it can, and that's what makes it so damn beautiful._ ”

“That sounds like a line,” Oliver accused. “I have to admit I admire how you seem to see the world through.”

“Roy Mustang; Fullmetal Alchemist.”

“What's that?”

“An anime,” with a shrug of his shoulders Barry wiped his face.

“I'm sorry?”

“Japanese Animation,” Barry clarified.

“Cartoons?”

“Yes.”

Oliver almost laughed, a huff and a half smile. “You're a nerd,” he deflected the conversation away from himself.

“Well, this nerd will be able to kick your ass one day,” Barry smirked.

“Keep dreaming,” Oliver raised his fists again.

Barry moved forward.

_Dodged._

_Fuck._

_Again-- dodged -- again -- blocked._

Oliver moved forward and Barry dodged easily.

* * *

Barry started to feel like things were _working_ in his life. He had his friends, he had his family. He even had Oliver and William, even if it wasn't the way both he and Oliver wanted. His friend was opening up to him. They found evidence that Ronnie could be alive and we're now in an active search for him.

As Oliver and Barry made their way through the alley on 30th and main with William, something felt off. They ended up boxed in by three large men, two in front and two behind. It started becoming clear that things would escalate, Barry could see one of them had a weapon of some sort. Of what type, Barry couldn't identify. Either a knife or a small gun.

Barry felt the Speed Force coursing through him as William looked to him to do something. Before Oliver could react, Barry was backing William against the wall behind them, shielding him with his body. He had more time to process the situation, like the Green Arrow had taught him. It was too fast for William to process, but Oliver didn't even notice.

Just as he was ready act, willing to reveal his identity to Oliver if he had to-- Oliver was acting. Something felt different about him. A chill ran down Barry’s spine as Oliver quickly escalated the situation himself. Immediately acting and taking down the first two, wrestling the weapon from the third.

They way Oliver fought, it was like nothing Barry had ever seen before. Oliver wasn't like this in his sparring sessions. He was thankful that William had his face in the back of his jacket, his hands trembling.

It was over as soon as it began, but to Barry it felt longer. As he watched Oliver … lose himself. He had become someone-- no-- he had become _something_ else. It reminded him of-- another itch in the back of his head. This was like how the Green Arrow fought, but there was something darker in Oliver’s eyes.

When Oliver moved to check on Barry, Barry flinched heavily.

“Are you both okay?”

“Don't touch me,” he stepped back further.

“Barry--” he stopped at the fear that flashed in Barry’s eyes. He dropped his outstretched hand as he further pushed the darkness into that place in the back of his mind.

“What the hell, Oliver?” this violence … it had been so deliberate. It went far beyond what Oliver had convinced him he was capable of. Fear crept up in the pit of his stomach. He didn't know how to react tor this. He didn't know Oliver was capable of something like this. The men lay on the ground, unmoving.

“They aren't dead,” Oliver spoke as if that was supposed to be assuring.

* * *

Barry watched William go upstairs before turning to Barry. “What the hell was that?” he turned to face Oliver, standing tall.

Oliver knew that tone. He had heard it several times. The first being when Barry confronted him about going behind his back. “I think those were some of the men who came after William the first time,” Oliver admitted, stuffing his hands into his pockets. “I'm increasing security.”

“No, Oliver. I'm talking about--I looked into your eyes and I saw-- you weren't you, Oliver,” Barry spoke in hushed tones now.

“Shēngcún.”

“I don't speak Chinese.”

“It's Mandarin, and it means to live, or _survive_ ,” Oliver stuffed his hands into his pockets. “Maybe I wasn't honest about where I learned to fight, but I _was_ honest about why.”

“The island,” Barry suddenly realised. He had found another layer of Oliver's past, it has seemed. One he wasn't sure he wanted.

Oliver nodded once and Barry wanted to reach out to him, but he didn't. “I wouldn't hurt you,” he said after a bit.

“I think I know that. I was just scared today,” he squeezed his hands together, they were still trembling slightly. “I didn't know you could do stuff like that--”

“I was afraid of how you would look at me if you knew,” Oliver admitted, and it was one of the first times he had said that and meant it. He cared about what Barry thought of him. He had felt what it was to almost lose Barry once, and he never wanted to feel that again in any capacity. “Maybe it was selfish, but I couldn't lose you again.”

Barry frowned slightly. Oliver almost looked vulnerable, in a way he wasn't used to seeing. He stepped forward and he wasn't sure what to do. Or what to say at this point. There was so much he didn't know, so much he didn't know who to help with.

“I _know_ I wouldn't hurt you,” but Oliver sounded like he was more concerned about convincing himself. “Did William see?”

“No, he was behind me.”

Oliver nodded, remaining silent.

Barry opened his mouth to speak but Oliver finally spoke.

“Why didn't you touch me? When we were sparing?”

“Because you didn't say ‘yes’.”

He gave a swift nod. “Will you stay for a while?”

“Of course, Oliver.”

* * *

The Emerald Archer helped him get into stance but his fingers lingered on his skin, moving down his arms. His actions earned a slight shiver from the scarlet speedster: nearly causing him to drop the arrow in surprise. “Higher,” he pulled Flash’s arm up a little higher, smirking slightly.  
  
“I can't keep this drawn and lift my arm any higher,” Flash protested, his hand starting to tremble.  
  
The Green Arrow stepped closer, his chest pressing against him as a strong hand wrapping around Flash's to steady it. “Higher, Flash,” he aided him in drawing the bow back further.  
  
It hadn't taken Flash long to realise how intimate the situation was. He was oblivious sometimes, but there was no way Green Arrow didn't realise how his body reacted to the touch-- and to the breath on his skin.  
  
Flash wasn't sure the latter was entirely accidental.  
  
However, he and the Green Arrow had been playing this game for a while now. He knew if he drew attention to it, it would stop. Green Arrow would scatter like a bunch of bats. He didn't want that. As much as they both denied it, they always found excuses for closeness. They never talked about it, they had never even kissed … but it was times like this that made them confront their pent up attractions, even if it was to leave them unacknowledged.

He didn't want to break contact with the Green Arrow but he did. He lowered his arm and turned his head towards the masked face behind him. “You're not married, are you?”

The Flash’s question was sudden, and just as he predicted, Green Arrow backed away. “What kind of question is that?”

“Are you married?” Flash repeated his question.

“I'm not married,” he took a step back.

“Then what is this? We’re both adults, so let's talk about it,” the Flash decided, his and voice face still guarded.

“Guys like us, we don't get the girl-- or guy in our case,” Green Arrow said seriously, picking up the bow and putting it onto his back alongside his quiver. Though even he had to admit that he was addicted to the speedsters light. He had even stopped having Roy go out as the Green Arrow in Central City.

“Oh, so that's what this is? You're afraid of letting anyone this physically close to you? So we fuck around, and we both recognise there’s something between us- I mean, it's purely psychical, but it's _something_ \--” he placed a hand on Oliver's shoulder. “Then you just run away?”

“I'm not running away from anything. I'm being realistic.”

“Oh- _okay_ ,” Flash rolled his eyes, not that Green Arrow could see.

“Fine, show me your face.”

Flash hesitated at the request.

“Just what I thought,” the Green Arrow’s lips formed a hard line. “Stop trying to push us closer.”

“I think you're making a bigger deal out of what I'm saying than is really needed. I've kinda got feelings for someone. I'm just saying there's physical tension and I think this back and forth we do is getting old.”

If Green Arrow was being honest, he was drawn into the speedster. It wasn't love, but it was certainly more than just a little lust. Being close to the Flash made him feel lighter sometimes, and it was easy to get drunk on it.

* * *

Barry sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He was _tired_. Lots of case files piling up and Flash business. He and Oliver had only lasted about twenty minutes sparring.

“You're tired,” Oliver had observed and lowered his fists.

“Yeah, work and E.J has a virus.”

"That's too bad,” he tossed Barry a water bottle.

“Thanks-- yeah, it's just kind of a mess right now,” Barry was currently not so subtly admiring the edges of Oliver's upper body. He found Oliver beautiful. He didn't exactly get as enthusiastic about his looks as Iris or other people seemed to, but he appreciated them.

He liked to look.

It wasn't a secret either. As he opened the bottle, he could feel Oliver's eyes in him as well. This wasn't exactly unusual for them. Their feelings for each other were far from a secret at this point, even if they didn't talk about it.

“You looked good today though,” Oliver clapped him on the back. He waited a few seconds before adding. “You're getting better. Maybe eventually I'll let you land a hit.”

“Right,” Barry was a _almost_ flustered.

 

Upstairs, William sat at the dining room table. He had several textbooks open around him as he studied for his next test. He glanced up at the sound of his aunt’s voice.

“William? Where's your father?” she sounded conceded, Oliver had never left William home alone before.

“He's in the basement.”

“Doing what?”

“I don't know. He's like _always_ in the basement with Barry,” he shrugged his shoulders and went back to his school work. “they said they're working out.”

“Well, okay.” Thea was skeptical, she knew Barry wasn't athletic. She however, also assumed Oliver was more responsible than to leave William alone for a booty call.

She crossed the house and opened the basement door. The staircase had a small landing before turning a corner to go down to the bottom. As she was coming around the corner she could see the boys. She was about to open her mouth and say something about the unattended preteen upstairs but she stopped.

They were talking. Barry was laughing and Thea was surprised to see that her brother was actually _smiling_. Oliver was sporting a large grin as he stood close to the scientist.

Barry had his head cocked to one side as he laughed along with their conversation, his eyes crinkling at the edges. It was obvious they had been working out, sweat clung to their half naked bodies and they were hydrating.

Thea smiled a little and stepped the rest of the way down the stairs. “Boys, sorry to interrupt the cool down but there's an unsurprised preteen upstairs.”

Barry grabbed his t-shirt and pulled it over his head again, seeming a little embarrassed. “I actually have to go.” he headed towards the stairs. “Good to see you though Thea-- are you two coming to the Christmas Party?”

“There's a Christmas Party?” Thea’s tone was surprised and intrigued, in a playful way.

“Right, oh, I was supposed to tell you,” Oliver pulled on his own shirt, meeting them at the stairs. “Barry invited us to the Christmas party that him and the Thawnes are hosting.”

“Oh, we got invited to the family party?” she glanced between them.

“Yeah it’s on the twentieth of next month, it's just a little thing. Feel free to bring Roy too, Eddie loves hosting.”

“Alright, I'll tell him about it, thanks.”

* * *

Barry raised his eyebrows as he saw Thea’s name across the caller I.D on his phone. “Hey, Thea.”  
  
“Hey,” Thea was seated at the kitchen table, William was upstairs taking a nap after another panic attack. “So,” she pinned the phone between her head and her shoulder as she opened a bottle of deep green nail polish. “I was just calling to see what you were up to.”  
  
A small smile spread across Barry’s face. “Okay, you wanted to see what I was up to-- well I'm writing a case report for a really odd case. There was a break in on 7th and main. When I got down there I found a horse hair, and shoe polish-- you're still listening?”  
  
“Why are you saying it like that? You think I don't care about horse hair and shoe polish? Because I do.” she was about halfway done painting her left hand as she spoke.  
  
“Thea, I have siblings. I know that tone. I can practically smell your ulterior motive,” he was smirking, a bit amused and impressed at the attempt.  
  
“I don't know what you're talking about--”  
  
“Alright then,” Barry continued. “Not only did we find those random things, but the horse hair is from a breed of horse that went extinct about ten years ago, and the shoe polish is from a factory that went out of business in nineteen thirty-two.”  
  
“That’s fascinating sounds like you got a real mystery on your hands. Speaking of dead horses and old shoes-- what are your intentions with my big brother?”  
  
“There it is, I knew it."

“Can you blame me for asking, though? I mean the way you two are ...” she trailed off, searching gor the right word to use. "You have this intimacy that everyone notices."

Barry sighed and stuffed one hand into his pocket. He hunched back slightly against his desk. He didn't know what to say, he took a deep breath while he thought it over. “I really don't think either of us are in a place to move beyond what we have now. I also don't really feel comfortable talking to you about it in detail, I hope that’s okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[AN: Possible hiatus! I've got a lot on my plate. Plus and I've been tired. I'm a spoonie, editing and posting takes a lot of energy. Plus winter makes me hurt like a bitch. So I can't be sure when I'll upate next. Sorry! But if I'm late I'll most likely have more than one chapter!]]


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> William sees Barry as part of the family but Barry starts to rethink his blind faith in Oliver.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[Warnings: Needles. hallucinogenic drugs  
> AN: Big thanks to TigStripe for the beta, brainstorm, contributing to this chapter, and his general helpfullness (: ]]

William got up early for school and headed down the stairs after getting dressed. An upbeat melody floated up the stairs. He grinned and rushed the last half of the staircase and moved into the kitchen. He knew Barry would be there by the music and smell of pancakes. “Good morning, Mr. Allen!”

“Good morning!” he smiled back and returned his attention to the pancake currently cooking in the frying pan.

This always made William happy. The house was quieter without Barry. Even Oliver himself was quieter. When Barry was here, it gave William less time alone with his thoughts. “Where's my dad?”

“He had to run into work, but I'm going to stay here until you get on the bus. He said if you felt up to it, we could see a Diamonds game together this weekend. We’ll bring Thea and Roy too,” he explained. They knew William didn't like being alone in the mornings, so Oliver had asked him to be there.

“Can I think about it?” William wasn’t sure if he wanted to go to an event that crowded.

“Sure, if you don't feel up to it, you don't have to.” He made William a plate and passed it to him.

Barry was glad William seemed to be in a good mood that morning. William seemed to be having more good days that bad recently and he was grateful for the change.

When William was done eating Barry helped him check his backpack. “Do you have your history book? You forgot it last time.”

“I have it!” with that confirmation he zipped up his backpack.

“You're a Flash fan?” Barry asked, almost smugly as he noticed the pattern on William’s backpack.

William slid the bag onto his shoulder. “Yes. He’s my favourite.”

There was a tone there that Barry was sure he heard, but didn't comment on it. “You know--” he glanced at the clock on the stove. “You're going to be late, but Iris knows some cool facts about the Flash.”

Barry walked William out to the bus stop. When it arrived William hugged him around the waist, jolting him slightly with the action. “Thanks! I'll see you later!”

Barry waited while William got on with the other kids. To Barry’s left, a brunette spoke.

“I thought William was Oliver Queen’s boy?” she eyed Barry with some confusion.

“Hmm?” Barry turned her. “Oh, yeah. He's not mine. I'm just helping out today.”

“Doesn't that man ever take care of his own kid?”

“Excuse me?”

“I've seen William dropped off by two aunts, an uncle he didn't even seem to like, and you very frequently.”

“Uhm,” Barry didn't know what to say to that. Oliver certainly wasn't the only working parent in the world. “He does his best to make sure someone is always with William, not that I should have to defend him.”

“Rich people,” she rolled her eyes.

Barry rolled his eyes in turn and decided to work.

* * *

At school William didn’t really have friends at school. In fact, some of the kids were mean to him. It was easier for him to keep to himself.

“How are you doing, William?” his teacher had asked that morning. Mrs Darvis was his first period history teacher. He talked to her more than he did his classmates.

“I’m doing okay. Mr. Allen made breakfast, so the house was pretty happy today.”

“Who's Mr. Allen?”

“Mr. Allen is one of my dad's friends! He's there when I get up a lot. We cook breakfast together, and he's really good at singing, so we do that together too,” he beamed. His demeanour had changed in a way she hadn't seen before.

“He sounds wonderful.”

“He is! He's the CSI at CCPD, and he knows a ton of cool science stuff, after school we’re going to work on my science project together.”

“If your father working late again?”

“No, he's just better at science than my dad.”

“That sounds really fun,” she encouraged before the bell rang, sending William off to the rest of day.

* * *

William managed to make it through the day, except for Lunch, when he had a moment. It was the furthest he'd been knocked from reality in almost a year.

One moment, things were normal in the lunchroom. William at on his own. The next thing he knew, he wasn't _there_. William was now sitting under the table in the lunchroom. He was under water. No, he was drowning. He could feel himself going through the motions of breathing, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get enough air.

“William?” the voice sounded far away. “William? … Call Mr. Queen…” the voice faded in and out around him.

It felt like an hour passed before he was calm again. Kids were staring, causing his stomach to plummet.

When Oliver finally arrived, William had somewhat calmed down. He was a little more settled. Things still felt a bit muted around him, but he was _there_ . He didn't apologise to Oliver this time, but he _wanted_ to. He was silent and stayed focused on shapes that passed the car window.

“Are you okay, William?” Oliver asked when the got home.

“I'm okay, I'm just really tired.”

Oliver shuffled uncomfortably. “Okay, get some rest. I love you.”

“I can't sleep, I'm just tired.”

“Okay kiddo, I'm going to make lunch,” Oliver watched as William disappeared up the stairs and emitted sigh. He glanced at the cling slightly, sure he could have said something more productive. He let it go for now.

* * *

A few days on, at Queen consolidated, Barry had just made his way past security and up to the top office. He dropped the Big Belly Burger directly onto Oliver's paperwork with no remorse. “You were an hour late. If I’m not allowed to skip lunch, neither are you!”

Oliver stared up at him, _I love this nerd_ , he thought as he watched Barry beam down at him. He opened the bag and tossed one of the burgers onto Barry's side of the desk. “Fine,” he laughed softly.

Barry sat down and opened his own wrapper, dumping some of his fries out. “So, I think William wants a dog,” he stuffed a few fries into his mouth. “You've seen how he gets around them.”

“No one is home enough for a dog,” he went back to his paperwork with a chicken tender in his free hand.

“I suppose you're right, just thought I would warn you in case he asks. Try to hear him out when he asks and explain why dogs need attention and stuff.”

“What would I do without you, Barry?” he smiled and their eyes locked for a few seconds.

Barry forced down his feelings and broke their eye contact. This was hard. He didn't like it, and he knew Oliver didn't like it either. He wondered how long they could keep up living as uncomfortably adjacent to romance as they were. The two had become such large parts of each other’s lives. Barry was becoming a staple in _William’s_ life even. That, of course, was completely by accident. He knew for a fact the boy often asked if he was joining them out outings.

Barry sighed and choked down a few more fries, though he was suddenly less hungry. “William has a science project due and I promised to help him.”

“Great. I'm glad you can help me out with that, I'm not really the science guy.”

“I figured that out when we met.” A slight smirk was forming on his lips when he spoke.

“Please erase that from your memory. It’s embarrassing.” But Oliver, leaning on his elbow slightly, faced a little closer to Barry with a small smile.

It was too damn _easy_. Easy to fall into a sense of normal with Oliver, too easy to feel happy around him. It was like a trap he kept letting himself fall into. He needed a distraction about as much as he needed Oliver.

* * *

When the weekend came around, William decided that he could handle the baseball game and actually really wanted to go. Barry arrived at the house around eleven. They were still waiting for Roy and Thea to arrive.

“Wiliam, there's metal detectors at the field, so make sure that you don't have any loose change in your pockets when we leave,” said Barry as he helped Oliver pack a few sandwiches and drinks into a cooler.

The car ride was surprisingly enjoyable. Roy and Oliver were mostly silent while Thea, William, and Barry sang along to almost every song that came on the radio. Oliver enjoyed it a little more than he would ever admit.

When they got to the game, things seemed to be going well. They got William through the metal detectors. Oliver had been worried about the closed space, but was relieved when it went off without a hitch. They found their seats easily. Roy filed in with Thea beside him. Barry took a spot next to Thea, and then Oliver. They gave William the end seat, in case he felt needed to get out quickly.

'How can you eat so many of those?” Thea eyed Barry with a mix of curiously and disgust.

  
“I haven't eaten that many,” Barry's defence was a weak mumble. Thea barely registered the words.  
  
“There are like _thirteen_ wrappers in your lap.”  
  
Oliver glanced over and his eyebrows pulled together at the growing pile of bags that once held sandwiches and tin foil hot dog wrappers balancing on Barry's thighs. “Yeah, Barr-” He was cut off by Roy’s hollering.

“I didn't even think you _liked_ sports,” Thea rolled her eyes and leaned slightly into him.

Roy had only partially turned to Thea as he spoke, his eyes mostly on the game. “I'm not reall--” his head snapped forward again. “ _Oh come on_! It was right there! You had that, Duncan!”

“Yeah, you really hate sports,” Thea huffed.

Suddenly there was a fly ball, and almost everyone had their eyes on it. Oliver however, was invested in figuring out just how much Barry could eat. Barry himself was also distracted, his focus on his food.

_Thud._

The hard ball collided with his chest, causing everything in his hands and on his lap to fly when he recoiled and caught the ball. An Instant replay appeared on several of the screens around the stadium.

“Oh god--” Thea was stifling giggles. “Are you-- are you okay?”

Barry flushed slightly. “I'm fine, it's just a ball. Hurts, but I'll survive,” he glanced around at his mess. Unsure of where to start. He decided he should deal with the baseball first. He weighed his options, he was certain it would just gather dust in his apartment. It only took a few seconds for his speedster brain to decide William might want it. reached across Oliver. “William, do you want this?” he held it out while he used his free hand to pick up the spilled wrappers.

“I can really have this?” William was surprised.

“Yeah.” He nodded firmly.

“Thanks, Mr. Allen!” he beamed.

Barry’s phone buzzed twice. Two messages.

 **Iris:** _NERD_

 **Linda:** _Nice catch_.

Barry scowled. _Of course they saw that already._

 

**[Group Text: Dad, Eddie, Wally, Linda, Iris Barry]**

**Iris:** _Barry got hit with a fly ball. Right in the chest and it's been immortalized forever._

 **Eddie:** _is he okay?_

 **Iris:** _it was hilarious._

 **Eddie:** _Oh. This is the group. Barry, are you okay?_

 **Joe:** _I thought I taught that boy how to catch a baseball. Smh._

 **Wally:** That's rough, bro.

 **Iris:** _That's the 6th text I've gotten from you TODAY with smh, dad._

 **Joe:** _Why did you and your brother teach me about it if you didn't want me to use it? Smh._

 **Iris:** _Not all the time, dad._

 **Eddie:** _Shouldn't we be more worried about Barry?_

 **Iris:** _It was just a baseball, Eddie. He's fine._

 **Eddie:** I'm going to call, he's not answering the gc.

  
Barry hadn’t really wanted to deal with his family's roasting or Eddie’s … whatever was going on with him, Barry wasn't quite sure. He sighed when his phone switched from a text vibration to a calling one.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Barr. I'm at work, can't talk long, you okay though?” Barry could hear a soft shuffling noise behind Eddie’s voice.

“Yeah. I'm fine. It's just a baseball. My ego is more bruised than my body,” he tried to reassure him, though he felt the call was a little much.

“Okay, talk soon.” Eddie hung up.

Barry glanced at Oliver, who was watching him with concern. “My sister and Linda saw me get hit with that ball. Everyone roasted me while Eddie worried.”

Oliver nodded once and returned his gaze to the game after quickly glancing at William to make sure he was okay. He sighed, not really caring about the game.

After a while, William asked, “Are there any sandwiches left?”

“Barry, can you pass us a sandwich?”

Barry fished around in the cooler and managed to pull out a very wet sandwich bag from the bottom. He shook it out slightly before offering it to Oliver.

Oliver grabbed Barry’s hand in the process and stopped. He looked at their hands for a moment. Barry didn't move, feeling more awkward than Oliver did.

“Dad?” William cut into the pair’s awkward eye contact.

“Right. Here.” he passed William the sandwich bag and wiped his hand on his jeans to expel some of the excess water

When the game wound down a few hours later, Roy’s game hype was almost completely gone. Thea didn't allow that to go undocumented. When they returned to the house, Barry and Oliver were relieved to see that the day had gone off well.

Oliver made coffee in the kitchen. Barry still had no idea how to work that contraption taking up too much of the kitchen counter.

* * *

The following day, Barry picked up a call from Oliver as his chair slid across the way to another desk. “Hello?”

“Do you think you could get William from school today? I'm sorry, I know it's out of the way--”

“I would be happy to, he gets off around three, right?” he was preparing a blood sample for testing as he spoke.

“He has science fair prep today so he won't be out until four.”

“Oh, okay! I'll get him after I pick up Esther from daycare.”

“Thanks, Barry. I owe you one. I have to go,” he insisted, and something in his voice felt heavy like it had before, when he was in Star City.

“Anytime.”

When Barry pulled up at the school at ten past four, he got out of the car with Esther so William would see him. He was sure Oliver had texted him, but he figured it would be better to be safe.

“Hi, Mr. Allen.” William smiled as he approached. “Hi Esther,” he added when she waved excitedly at him. Barry went to buckle Esther back into her car seat. “Where's my dad?”

“He got caught up, buy everything's fine--” He sighed when his phone rang and pulled it out. “Hey, Cait, what's up?”

“I was wondering how you were doing. Iris said you were having some relationship troubles.”

“Just my ex-boyfriend popping up and asking around about me,” he watched William get in the front seat. “I can't really talk right now, I'm picking up William from school.” He hung up once he was settled in the car. He didn't want to think about Liam, but it looked like he had to.

“Okay.” Barry smiled and started the car. “We’re going to drop Esther off at her house.” He noticed about halfway to the Thawne house that William was being quiet. “Do you want to stay and play with the kids, or go straight home?”

“I want to go home. I'm sorry,” his new focus became his hands.

“No apologies allowed,” he nudged him and winked, now in the Thawne’s driveway. “We'll do what you want to do.”

Once they dropped Esther off, Barry started across town to Danville. He finally broke the silence halfway there. “You alright, Will?”

“You had a boyfriend?” the statement sounded like a question.

“Yes, I did. A long time ago.”

“So, you're gay, then?”

Barry cleared his throat in a very awkward gesture. “Yes … _I'm_ gay, but not every boy with a boyfriend is gay.” One hand worried the back of his neck.

William didn't respond, and the silence felt a bit heavier the longer Barry left it.

“Does that make you uncomfortable?”

“Is it supposed to? Is it bad?” William scrunched up his face, but Barry didn't see. His eyes were on the road.

“No, no, it's not bad. Some people don't like it, but it certainly isn’t bad.” Barry exhaled. He was trying not to ramble. The problem was that he was not sure what the point of this conversation was. It made him nervous. When E.J had asked, it was different. He didn't know what that meant. William seemed to understand, at least on some level.

“Are people mean to you?”

“Sometimes,” he admitted with a shrug of his shoulders, “but I know it says way more about them than it does about me.”

“What does that mean?

“It means,” he sighed as he stopped in the driveway of the house, tugging on the hair on the back of his head in a nervous, frustrated twitch. “It means, I know it's okay to be me, and if people want to be jerks about it, _they’re_ the problem and not me. It shows what kind of person _they_ are.”

“I don't know why it matters.”

“It shouldn't, but it's different from what some people are taught and that makes them mad sometimes.” He hadn’t planned on explaining homophobia to a child for another few years, let alone a child that wasn't his. “But you don’t need to worry about me, okay?”

“Okay,” William shrugged and stepped out of the car.

Barry followed him into the house on the kitchen table was a note and a shiny black piece of plastic.

_Barry,_

_I don't know how long I'll be. You’ll probably need to order dinner for William and yourself. Whatever you both want is fine, use my card._

- _Oliver_

“It doesn’t sound like your dad is going to be home for dinner. What do you want to do?”

“Can we order pizza?”

“Sure.”

For some reason, William was unusually quiet again.

“Are you okay? Was that conversation too heavy for you?”

“I'm okay. Is it okay for me to talk to you about stuff?” he kept his eyes on the floor.

“You can always talk to me,” his statement followed by a firm nod.

“Why don't people like you being gay?”

“People believe what their parents tell them,” he shrugged. “ Some parents tell their kids it's wrong, but there's nothing wrong with it.”

“What do you do when people are mean to you?” He played with his hands in an anxious action that Barry hadn't seen before.

“I ignore them,” Barry sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. William seemed really stuck on this. “Are you worried about someone?” he asked gently.

“I'm glad I can talk to you. It's nice to have a friend,” William said quickly, but still wouldn't look at Barry. “I'm going to go play video games.”

Barry frowned and crossed his arms. Taking time to evaluate the situation. William seemed so _stuck_ . He headed into the living room and leaned against the doorway. “William, you can _always_ talk to me. If you need me, I'll make the time to listen, okay? I know your father would too.”

“Okay.”

* * *

Barry ended up staying longer than he had expected. It was almost midnight. William had gone to bed hours ago, and Barry was still thinking about their earlier conversation. He hoped he had said the right things. Oliver stumbled through the front door. His left leg madeg a sliding sound on the floor, as he moved with a slight limp. Barry rose from the sofa in an instant.

“Are you okay?” He made his way over to Oliver, meeting him halfway to give him something to put weight on, and off the leg that seemed to be causing him distress.

“Everything is fine,” his voice was hoarse and his breathing was ragged. A light bulb went off. He had tried to brush it all off before, the late nights, the fighting, the secrets. He couldn't anymore though. He couldn't just rely on his trust of Oliver and the reassurances. This was the first time that Barry _truly_ suspected Oliver could be The Green Arrow.

“No, it's not--”

Oliver pulled Barry into his arms and pressed his face carefully into Barry’s neck, to Barry’s surprise. He felt Oliver's arms wrap around him hesitantly. He slowly returned the embrace.

Oliver squeezed Barry against his body almost hard enough to hurt. “I'm so glad you're here.”

“Oliver, you need to sit down.”

Oliver shook his head and pulled back slightly, a hard calloused hand falling gently on his cheek. “No. Please. I can't lose anything else.” He leaned in and brought their lips together in a soft kiss.

Barry closed his eyes and kissed him back, swept up in the moment. Oliver's hands slowly slid down Barry’s chest. A light touch from rough hands, aching to explore his skin.

“Oliver, what are you doing?”

“I need--you're the colour of home--”

“Woah, Ollie, hang on. What do you mean?” he broke away from Oliver quickly, pushing his hands away.

“You're so beautiful, Barry,” he murmured. “It's so dark but you're so  bright and--I need you--”

“Oliver, are you drunk? You don't seem drunk you seem...” he cupped his neck gently to make him look at him. He felt something hard embedded in Oliver’s neck in the same moment he registered how blown Oliver’s pupils were. He moved his hand and his eyes locked onto a moderately thick needle protruding ever so slightly from his neck.

“There's a needle in your neck!”

Oliver shook his head. “I'm okay.”

“Ollie,” Barry said firmly. “Look at me. We’re going upstairs.”

Barry lead him upstairs and forced him to sit down on the floor. It was oddly easy, despite how strong and usually stubborn Oliver was.

“Please stay,” Oliver spoke quietly, glassy eyes still on Barry.

“I won't go anywhere.” Barry’s tone was gentle as he patted his shoulder comfortingly. “I'm right here, but we have to get you taken care of.”

Barry sighed and scrambled around in a search for tweezers. He was equal parts thankful and horrified that the needle was large enough that he could easily get a grip on it to remove it. He quickly pressed a washcloth against the spot. “Can you hold this, Ollie?” he figured there wouldn't be too much blood, but it was better to be safe.

Oliver’s hand replaced Barry's as the CSI continued to look him over. He couldn't find any other solution than Oliver having been drugged with some sort of hallucinogen.

“We need to get you under cold water, okay? I'll take care of you but you need to trust me.”

“I trust you.”

 

Frigid water weighed down their clothes as Oliver continued to mumble into Barry’s skin, his face pressed to the other man's neck. “Everything is dark besides you,” his hand knotted up in Barry’s soaked t-shirt.  
  
“It's okay, Ollie--” Barry was shivering slightly. Cold was not a friend of the Speed Force. He had learned that early on.  
  
“You're so bright.” He lifted his head, his eyes still glossy. He traced a finger lazily over Barry’s neck, tracing a line over his Adam's apple. “The colour of home.”

“You're hallucinating.” Barry’s teeth chattered. “You'll be fine.”

“Please stay.” Oliver's voice was once again against his skin.

Barry gently cupped the back of his head. “I'm not going anywhere.” Barry held him tightly against himself. “We're going to ride this out.”

One hour and two dozen jumbled conversations, later, Oliver was more lucid. He wasn’t totally sober, but at least he was aware he was hallucinating.

He stood and turned off the water. “I was drugged.”

“Yeah,” Barry’s teeth chattered very slightly.

“You're cold?” His eyebrows pulled together but he yanked off his wet shirt and it fell to the bottom of the shower with an audible wet sound.

Oliver stepped out of the shower silently and tossed him a towel. He knew he could have vibrated to warm up, but he couldn't do that with Oliver here.

“I'll lend you some clothes.”

When they reached Oliver's room he began to shuffle around before he found a shirt to toss him.

Barry pulled on the new clothes quickly, noting how loose the shirt was in the arms and he had to tie the sweat pants. Oliver wrapped his arms around him. Barry responded by pressing his face gently against his chest. He could have easily warmed up on his own eventually. But he didn’t. He let Oliver hold onto him. His speedster muscles ached slightly and he would need a few minutes before he was warmed up. They were both cold, but Oliver was far too accustomed to low temperatures to notice.

Oliver was too high to register the reaction was a little much, but not high enough to completely ignore it. “You should stay. It's already two.”

As he spoke, Barry looked him over, but it was different from when he usually looked at him. He wasn't admiring this time. He was observing the angry purple stains splattered across his chest. He made a brief but careful assessment of the damage. Nothing looked too heavy, but still looked painful.

He slowly reached out, but stopped. He drew his hand back when Oliver spoke again.

“It's okay.”

Barry reached out and the tips of his fingers gently brushed against Oliver’s skin. He could feel Oliver's heavy exhale pull him away ever so slightly.

“Ice it in the morning. And take it easy tomorrow. Maybe even stay home.”

Oliver just nodded once and Barry slowly pulled his hand back.

Barry was gone by the time the sun came up. He didn't stay for breakfast. He had too much to deal with, too many thoughts running loose in his brain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[AN: The baseball game scene was actually spurred from a covo in a really cool discord server called Flarroverse Shipyard ... did I mention they're pirate themed and an Olivarry room? https://discord.gg/D4RFsRq ]]


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[Warnings: None.  
> AN: Here we go, officially 2/3 through this fic]]

Barry stumbled through the door, at around five-thirty. All he cared about was getting some sleep, or a hot shower. He still felt like he was freezing but wherever his feet dragged him too first he would take.

“Barry-- oh,” Iris began when she looked him over, taking in the sight of him dressed in what clearly were _not_ his own clothes.

“I'm going to bed.”

“Do you want to talk?” She had picked up on his mood easily.

“Hey, Iris have you seen my coffee-- Barry! Are you okay? Where were you?” the corners of his lips pulled down in a frown.

“I'm fine.”

“You don't look fine, Barr,” Eddie tried to argue but Barry started to move past him. He cut off his path “I was worried, _we_ were worried, you didn't call or write on the board--”

“I'm sorry no one uses your stupid board, Eddie,” Barry groaned. “but it's stupid and it's inconvenient and everyone hates it but apparently everyone walks on eggshells around it. I get the effort and I know you’re worried.”

“You're right, Barr. Sorry,” his hands flexed in the strap of his attache case. “I have to go to work.”

Barry could tell he'd struck some sort of chord with Eddie. Though, he wasn't sure why. He had pushed the board into the back of his mind if he were being honest and he had more important things to focus on, like finding his bed.

* * *

The following day, Barry headed to Wally’s for a visit. “There's my brother!” Wally hugged Barry tightly before stepping inside and letting him pass.

“Hey Wally,” he smiled. “Hey, Linda!” Barry waved to Linda who was in the hallway with Sam.

She waved back to him before going to get Sam dressed for the day.

“So, any wedding bells in the future?” Barry prompted. “Sorry, Joe made me ask.”

Wally rolled his eyes. “I told him we’ll get married when we _want_ to,” he went into the kitchen. “You want anything to drink?”

“A Gatorade would be awesome, please? I totally get it too. Who says you have to be married to raise a kid? Joe brought up three _on his own_ , so I don't know what he's so uptight about.”

Wally tossed him a brightly coloured ‘Powerade’ and moved closer. “Exactly! Between you and me though, I'm looking at rings.”

“Oh?” Barry raised an eyebrow.

“I was actually wondering if you could help me? I mean, I have no idea what I'm doing.”

“I'm happy to give you a second opinion, but what makes you think I know more than you?” Barry laughed softly. “You're so young too, don't feel pressured to get married just because Joe is on your back.”

Linda appeared and Barry had already emptied his bottle of Powerade. He held out his arms for Sam, but the child slinked away. “Okay, buddy. Maybe next time!” he smiled, but admittedly was a little disappointed. It felt like it had been overnight that Sam distrusted him.

He knew _logically_ that it has been nearly a year, but it still stung a little and was jarring. He had wanted to bridge the gap by now but it didn't look like that was going to happen.

After visiting with bus family for a bit, Barry dropped by Cisco’s.

“You look like shit,” Cisco mumbled around a mouthful of popcorn. “You need some chocolate popcorn corn, come sit with me. I'm about to watch the next of the more recent Star Wars films.”

“Gee, thanks. I thought you hated that movie?”

“Just keeping it real,” he shot Barry a finger gun. “Also, It's still Star Wars, I figured I have to give it another shot.” He shrugged.

Barry came and sat himself on the sofa beside Cisco. He knew Cisco wouldn't try to force information out of him.

“You going to patrol tonight?” Cisco asked, moving the bowl towards Barry.

Barry took a handful of popcorn. “Yeah. If I can, meta activity has been surprisingly low, so I have more time to focus on helping the community. Beyond painting walls on my way to other crime scenes.”

“How's the destroyer of all my hard work?”

“Don't even ask about him,” Barry sighed.

“Well, now you have to tell me.” Cisco laughed.

“Focus on your movie,” Barry rolled his eyes and stretched his arm out on the back of the sofa, trying to get comfortable.

“I don't know why you won't tell me about the Green Arrow though.” Cisco began, not five minutes later. He eyed him. “You don't … have a crush on him again, do you? I mean, more than before you actually knew him.”

“What?” Barry rolled his eyes. “The Green Arrow is … he's the definition of emotionally unavailable. He went on this long rant when I accused him of being married.”

“Why did you accuse him of being married?” --Cisco inhaled another handful of popcorn and spoke around it.-- “Why was that even a topic?”

Barry’s lips formed a hard line. “I … it just came up,” he shrugged his shoulders in a way that was a little too cartoonish to be genuine. Paired with the look he got was enough to sell him out of his lie.

Cisco gave him a doubtful look. “Really?”

“Okay! Somethings happened with the bow.”

“Woah--! I'm sorry I asked--”

“Not like that,” he rolled his eyes. “We had some up close and personal training sessions but he was weird about it, so I like … went off on him a tiny bit.” he scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Wow.”

“What? I don't like dancing around things.”

Cisco nearly choked on his soda. “ _Okay_.”

“What's _that_ about?” Barry crossed his arms over his chest, one eyebrow arched upwards.

“I have eyes, and you and Oliver exist, is what that's about. You two are worse than Westley and Buttercup in the start of Princess Bride.”

“I--” Barry closed his mouth tightly. “That's not true.”

“Barry ‘heart on your sleeve’ Allen.” He teased. “You know you can _actually_ talk to me about guys, right? You don't have to dance around that topic with me.”

“I don't _really_ talk about relationships with anyone.”

“I forgot how private you are.”

“I'm not private.”

“You hate talking about dating, you end up changing the subject ten seconds in.”

“I don't hate talking about it!” Barry objected.

“Really? Every date you've ever been on didn't go well and you just brushed it off by saying you'll be the ‘Bachelor Uncle’ with your stupid grin even though we all know that you're lonely.”

“I'm not lonely, or emotionally unavailable.”

“Oh that's right, you're not. You're married to Oliver Queen, my mistake.” He rolled his eyes.

“I'm not--”

“I see the way you look at him.” Cisco shrugged. “It's _kinda_ like how you look at Iris, but I think you're _in_ love with him. Speaking of Iris, she is extremely worried about you.”

Barry heaved a sigh. “I feel like that's all anyone does is worry about me.”

“You were struck by lightning,” Cisco pointed out.

“Yeah,” Barry ran a hand into his hair. "well, sorry for coming in here and dropping all this on you.” he stood as he spoke, heading for the door.  
  
“You haven't told me anything!" Cisco rolled his eyes. “but fine! You go ahead.”

* * *

When Barry arrived home, E.J sat at the kitchen table, peeling an orange that Iris had handed to him. He dropped the pieces of the peel onto a plate.

“Hey, Iris.”

“Long day?”

“Sam _still_ hates me.”

“Come on Barr, we both know he doesn't _hate_ you.”

“I know. It just _feels_ like it,” he sighed and ran a hand over his hair. “It's tiring I feel like he's just never gonna like me again.

“Oh shush.” She waved her hand dismissively. “He’ll come around soon enough.”

“How's work?” asked Barry, in need of a subject change.

“Pretty good, I'm working on an article about the new Superhero that'd seems to have popped up. I'm surprised you're not all over this. I'm calling him the _Streak_.”

Barry snorted. “First of all,” Barry crossed his arms. “That's the worst name I've ever heard. Second … I'm putting that stuff behind me, you know?”

“Just all of a sudden?”

He avoided her gaze. One hand on the back of his neck. “I mean, I started hanging out with Oliver and William … I stopped thinking about that stuff.”

Iris paused for a moment. Trying to decide which angle to dive into. “Barry, you know I love that you love that stuff. That's why I brought it up--”

“I need to stop chasing fairy tales,” he shook his head. “and you shouldn't start.”

“The Streak has been spotted with your boyfriend. He's real--”

Barry cut her off, “Stop calling the Green Arrow my boyfriend. Stay out of this Streak stuff. It's not going to do anyone any good.”

“Wow, Barr,” she frowned. “I guess we’ll talk about this later.”

“Mommy, is Barry taking me to school tomorrow?” E.J. asked suddenly, Iris turned to her son and patted his shoulder. “I don't know, buddy.”

“You want to walk with me tomorrow, buddy?” Barry asked.

“Yeah!” E.J. grinned.

“Alright, I can do that. For now, how about we go watch some Spider-Man with your sister before we work on your assigned reading.”

“Okay!” He hopped off the chair to head into the living room.

* * *

The following day, Barry sat alone in his room when he was sure everyone was gone. He held the t-shirt in his hands. The one Oliver had lent him that night. He pressed his face into the soft fabric with a weighted sigh. He was at a loss. He couldn't just ignore this forever. He wanted to see the best in Oliver, but it was hard. Oliver's secrets seemed to be becoming darker.

“Barr?” Came Iris’s voice from the other side of the door.

Barry stuffed the shirt under his pillow before standing and moving to the door. “Hey, what's up?”

“I was just making sure you were okay.”

“I'm fine, you and Eddie don't need to worry.” He offered a small and rather unconvincing smile. “How about you?”

“I'm fine. You know me, bored and waiting for my next big story.”

Barry’s phone went off. Another meta. “Listen, I really want to hear about work but--”

“But you have to disappear again? Fine. Tell your mystery ‘not - boyfriend’ I said hi and maybe he should come by for dinner instead of just summoning you--”

“Love you, bye.” He was already rushing out as the words passed his lips.  


When Barry arrived on location, he didn't survey the area this time. He ran right into the action. It seemed to just be one woman, everyone seemed to be disoriented. Gripping walls and tables for balance.

He struggled to find a perch with his hands or his feet. Before he could fully process the room, and an arrow flew over his head. He barely registered it, but everything was still a moment later.

The Green Arrow was advancing through the room, another arrow flying. Barry collected himself as best as he could. He was surprised to see that the Green Arrow had already subdued the meta.

“How did you--” Flash started.

“Don't look her in the eye. Didn't I teach you to case your surroundings?” Green Arrow nearly barked, annoyed.

“This seemed like an in and out job!” he slapped a pair of meta cuffs onto Top. He tried to look at the Green Arrow’s face but he moved.

“You've got your meta. Don't be a so impulsive next time.” He was gone again before Barry could respond, shooting a line through a broken window and zip gliding out.

* * *

A few days on, It one of Wally’s days off. Barry decided to give him a call. He missed his brother and needed a distraction. “Hey, Wally, are you running today?”

On the other end of the phone, Wally was getting his backpack ready. “I was actually going to hike, why?”

“Maybe I could come with you,” he offered lamely.

“Really? You want to … come with me?” he frowned slightly. Barry wasn't exactly as active as Wally was in his more recent years.

“Absolutely, it's my day off too.”

“Sure, I'm leaving now. Want me to pick you up?”

“I'm almost there, I'll just ride with you.”

The car ride was quiet and Wally spent most of it wondering what Barry’s sudden interest in his athletics was. He didn't question it though, he hadn't gotten to spend much time with him in the time after he woke up from his coma. Almost a month had past and it would be fall soon.

About twenty minutes of near-silent hiking later, Barry caught a water bottle that was tossed to him by Wally. “Thank you.” He had caught it with only minor help from the Speed Force, nothing Wally would have noticed.

“This was never really your thing,” said Wally after another few minutes. “What made you want to come?”

“You,” Barry shrugged his shoulders and finished about half the bottle of water in a minute. “I miss spending time with you, and I'm sure it was hard while I was gone.”

“I stole Oliver’s car,” Wally blurted.

“You … stole Oliver's car?” his eyebrows pulled together as he processed that information.

“I'm sorry. I know it’s bad but I felt like you were dead and I was scared. You and Iris worked so hard to keep me out of all of that and I just ... and I'm lucky Oliver didn't call the cops--”

Barry cut him off, a hand on his shoulder. “Wallace,” his tone was soft. “Listen to me, we all make mistakes when we’re scared. It's _okay_.”

“When I was driving … I thought about the baseball game we went to,” he admitted. “I could _smell_ that old house--” he cut himself off and took a deep breath. “I forgot how much I missed that feeling.”

“The first one?” Barry smiled a little.

“Yeah,” he closed his eyes for a second. “You were always there for me.”

“You're my little brother, Wally, of course, I was.”

“I couldn't do anything for you, I never can. Not after Liam, or the issues in Star then you got struck by lighting. I can never be there when you need me--”

“I'm the big brother here, okay? You were just a kid when most of that stuff happened. I know you were with me almost every day when I was out. That's more than you needed to do. Way more.”

“It's the only way I know how to help you. Iris told me when I was a kid that we could only be there and I just-- I couldn't even do that, Barr. I'm sorry,” Wally looked up slightly, trying to stay composed.

Barry stopped walking. His hand stopping Wally with him. “What do you mean?”

“I know you can't sleep at night.”

“What does that have to do with--”

“Iris always told me that I just have to be strong and--”

Barry sighed and stopped him, holding his arm. “Listen to me. Iris never meant to imply that you were in any way responsible for me.”

“I know that but--”

“No, Wally. You and Iris have been the best support I could ever ask for, but it's not your job. Okay? You have your own life and your own family.”

Wally nodded once, mostly to end the conversation. “I just … it's not just with you. I want to do more, _be_ more. Just like you did and you were always there for me, but whenever something happens i can't do _anything_.”

Barry gave his hand a gentle squeeze. “You're a great brother and a wonderful father. What more could you need to be?”

“All these metahuman attacks. People are dying, I worry about Sam in all of this. Nothing weird happened to you from the particle accelerator, did it? I mean, you were in a coma when all this stuff started happening.” Wally asked suddenly.

Barry bit down on the inside of his lip. “Uh, the lightning gave me a chronic arrhythmia?” It wasn't exactly a lie, so he felt like he could get away with it if he didn't press.

“Where your heart beats all weird?”

“Yeah, it's faster than its supposed to be, it causes some problems still but I'm dealing with it.” That wasn't exactly a lie either. He was managing.

Wally wanted to talk more about Sam, so they changed the subject. For the next week, Barry continued to search for distractions wherever he could find them.

* * *

That following afternoon, very decided he couldn't hold it off any longer. He knocked on the door to the house. An unpleasant sensation creeping up over him, dragging his stomach downward in an icy grip. It only took a few minutes for Oliver to get to the door.

“Hey!” he smiled but it fell slightly when he saw the folded clothes Barry held in his arms.

“Where can we talk?” Barry’s tone was serious, demanding an answer.

“Maybe we could do this la--”

“No. Where can we talk?” He wasn't about to let Oliver avoid the situation.

“In the kitchen.”

He followed Oliver through to the kitchen.

“Can I get you anything?” Oliver phrased the question calmly, as if it were any other day. However, the air was heavy on both of them.

“No thank you,” Barry carefully set the clothes on the counter. “I left these on my dresser for a while.”

“Why?”

“Because I knew the moment brought them back we would have to talk about it,” he met Oliver's eyes.

Something that surprised Barry, was that he almost looked vulnerable again. The look was gone in a fraction of a second and his face was hard, but his voice low. “We don't have to.”

“Yes, we do, Oliver.” Barry planted his feet, crossing his arms. “I'm not backing out.”

“Why?” Oliver held his ground as well.

“Because I need you to look me in the eye and tell me whether or not involved with the Green Arrow.”

“I'm not involved with the Green Arrow,” Oliver didn't break his gaze.

“Then what the hell happened that night?” Barry demanded. “Who drugged you? Where were you?”

“I need you to stop asking questions.” 

“No, not this time,” Barry stepped forward. “I'm not going to accept these walls anymore, Oliver. Not after the night we just had.”

“You have to accept my _no_ , Barry."

“Not when you're only saying it push me away!” Barry stared him down. “I already told you, I'm not going anywhere. Whatever this is, I'm with you, but you have to be _honest_ with me.”

“I need you to understand: I am willing to do whatever it takes to protect my son,” _and you_. Oliver added mentally as an afterthought.

“I have never doubted that but I--”

“Then why are you pressing this so much? Things were fine the way they were before I was almost--” _H_ e cut himself off and glared at the table.

“If something is wrong-- I want to help,” he reached out and gently gripped one of Oliver's shoulders. “Look at me, Ollie. I'm trying to see the best in you, _let me_.”

Oliver forced Barry's hand off roughly. “Get out.”

“ _What_?”

“ _Get out_ ,” he hands tightened their grip.on the counter. “Unless you're the only one in this relationship who's allowed to have boundaries!”

“Not when those ' _boundaries'_ are just walls that keep you isolated, Oliver. I lived that life, for years. I don't want that for you--”

“I said get out, Barry. William’s fine, I don't need you anymore.”

Barry stopped and swallowed hard. That was how this started. Oliver needed help with William. “I- um--” Barry hadn't expected to falter. He didn't think Oliver could say anything he wasn't prepared for.

“Get out!” Oliver shouted this time.

Barry took a step back. “Fine.” he said firmly. “I can't help you if you aren't willing to help yourself, goodbye, Oliver.” He left without another word.

When Barry was gone, William came downstairs and saw Oliver at the counter. He appraised carefully. William was young, but he wasn't dumb. He knew something was wrong, and he wanted to help. He didn't know what to do. “Dad?”

Oliver became a mask in seconds. A switch flipped. He turned and smiled at William. “Hey, kiddo.”

William put one hand on Oliver's and squeezed it, not sure what else to do. “Is everything okay?”

Oliver smiled a little and it was genuine. He moved to pull William into a hug, kissing the top of his head. “Everything's fine, don't worry.” He gave William a squeeze. “How about you help me make dinner? Anything you want.”

“Is Mr. Allen coming over?” William asked.

Oliver stopped and set his jaw. “No, not tonight, I'm sorry buddy.” He shook his head. He wasn't sure how he would explain this to William. He couldn't. At least, he assumed as much. He knew William adored Barry. He was was also painfully aware of the fact that he should have thought about this sooner. Before William got attached, but he hadn't. So, he had to deal with that eventually. Just not now.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry runs into Oliver and vents to Iris about it. Meanwhile Liam is a lingering annoyance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[Notes: I am alive, sorry! I got really stuck on this. Hopefully I can finish out this fic soon. I hope this chapter came out okay too, i've been away for a bit and it really wrestled with me. Thanks for all the love <3  
> Warnings: Trauma, nightmares.]]

Barry’s needed a distraction. As soon as possible. Something to stop him from checking his phone every half hour, hoping for a response from Oliver. Even when he told himself he wasn't. Everyone he picked it up and checked, he justified it. He hoped Oliver would express some sort of regret or remorse.  
  
He didn’t like thinking about it though. He had really felt like they were getting closer. Would he forgive Oliver again if he came back? He wanted to say he might not, but he didn’t trust himself. He had done all he could do. If Oliver was going to push him away anyway there wasn’t much he could do.

He started to wonder if all these secrets were even worth it. Would his secrets push Iris away? Eddie? He sighed and rubbed his face. He had too much going on to worry about this.

“Barr,” Iris knocked on the open door to his bedroom. “What are you doing?”

“What?”

“You're hung up,” Iris accused. “You're acting just like you did with Liam.”

“You said you wouldn't talk about him,” Barry rubbed his hands on his jeans.

“I know, but I haven't seen you like this in ages-- you're always on your phone, and that's not like you.”

Barry shrugged his shoulders, not trusting his words. This conversation gave him something to think about.

“Barry Allen, when did you stop telling me about things?” she crossed her arms and stared him down with one of her patent _mom looks_.

“We’re not seven, Iris. What do you want me to do? Build a blanket fort in the living room and tell you all my secrets?”

“So there _are_ secrets? Something is wrong. We've been best friends for twenty years, Barry. You're avoiding us, you're lying-- you're not a good liar Barr and I have been patiently waiting for you to just tell me the truth.”

“I know-- but we can't talk about the stuff going on in my life right now.” His phone went off and he stood and headed past her.

It didn't take very long for Liam to get a hold of him.

 **Unknown:** _It's Liam. I'm in town for a bit, meet for coffee? I really wanna talk._

At the sight of the message, Barry’s mind drifted back to one of the last times he had seen him, though he tried not to think about it.

 **Barry:** _I don’t know. How did you even get my number?_

**[Central City, MO, 2008]**

Barry sat up in the dimly lit room. the only light coming from a small lamp on the opposite corner, casting a warm glow on his face that highlighted the moist streaks on his cheeks.  
  
A lanky arm came to wrap around Barry's shoulder. “Babe? Baby,” Liam pressed his face into the back of Barry’s neck. “You're alright. I've got you.”  
  
Barry leaned into the touch slightly, closing his eyes as he struggled to catch his breath. “I know, it's just-- I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.” He started to cry softly. It was late, the only natural light came in the form of lightning strikes blinding through the windows. They had finals that week, and the last thing he wanted was to keep Liam awake.  
  
“Hey, it's okay,” he was a little more awake now. His hands slowly caressing his upper arms. “Shh.” he murmured.  
  
Barry turned to face him and pressed his face into his shoulder. “It's just the storm. it's usually not this bad. I swear.”  
  
Liam's long arms wrapped themselves around Barry and pulled him against himself. “I've got you.” his lips pressed against Barry's temple and his face buried in his hair. “Its okay.”  
  
It took a few minutes, but Barry calmed down, one hand on Liam's bare chest. “How about I make us some hot chocolate and after that we can just lay together until you're ready to fall asleep?”  
  
“That sounds good,” Barry wiped his face and let Liam get up.  
  
Liam felt around on the nightstand for his rounded spectacles. Once he got them on his face, he stood from the bed.  
  
Barry watched him stretch out his thin frame. Lightning flashed in the room, momentarily Illuminating his wiry figure in a white light. He watched for a second as his eyes adjusted to ambient lighting in the room before following him to the kitchen.  
  
When he passed Barry his mug and sat across from him at the small kitchen table, he spoke again. “I didn't know you were afraid of storms. I … had no idea. You have a lot of really out there fears. I'm surprised you have a common one.”  
  
“I'm not not afraid of lightning and I don't appreciate you making fun of me.”  
  
“I'm not making fun of you. What upset you so much about the storm?"

Barry looked down at his mug. “Well, you know I'm adopted?”

“Yeah. I love your family. Wally is the sweetest.”

“M--” he took a deep breath. “My mother was murdered when I was eleven.”

“What does that have to do with the storm?” He raised his eyebrows at him.

“I--I saw it.”

“You--”

“I-- there are parts I don't remember …” he lied, he could _feel_ Liam’s eyes on him, pitying, him, _judging_ him. “I don't remember her actually dying, but I saw the struggle-- when I close my eyes I still hear my dad telling me to run. Then I saw her …” he closed his eyes as he fought to keep himself in the moment.

“I had no idea.”

“I'm dealing with it.”

“What do you usually do after nightmares?”

“Sometimes I sleep in Iris's room if it's really bad,” he admitted. “but it hasn't been that bad in a while, not since I was a kid.” he closed his eyes. “If it's not bad I just deal with it.”

“You and Iris are closer than me and my brother,” Liam smiled a little.

“I wish things were different for you. Maybe one day,” he offered a sympathetic smile.

“I doubt it, he's a raging homophobe. Only reason you haven't met him. That's not important now though,” he waved his hand in a dismissive gesture.

“Okay.”

 

**[Present day]**

**Liam:** _Please? Also, it's not that hard to get a phone number._

 **Barry:** _Fine, but i'm really busy with work and treatment. I don’t know when I’ll be free._

Barry regretted using his full excuse. He didn't even think about it anymore. His excuses these days were treatment at S.T.A.R. Labs and his mostly on call CSI work.

 **Liam:** _For your PTSD?_

 **Barry:** _No. It's a medical thing. I don't want to get into it._

Barry hoped that would be the end of it as he headed into the Cortex. “What's the emergency?”

Cisco spoke over the comms. “We’re getting high, unnatural weather readings from the south side.”

“I'm on it.”

 

The Flash hadn’t expected the Green Arrow to jump into battle with him, but of course they ended up chasing the same villains. A duo of weather controlling brothers who thought themselves gods. Barry had recognized one of them as Clyde Mardon, the man who’d shot and killed detective Chyre.

The battle did not go in the Green Arrow’s favour. Flash ran the Green Arrow into Caitlin’s lab, laying him down on a cot. He could feel his rapid speedster heartbeat in his ears as he did. His face stopped vibrating, as The Green Arrow was unconscious. “Cait, please help my friend,” he looked up at her pleadingly.

Caitlin gave him a firm nod before rushing him out of the room and drawing the curtain around them. “What happened to him?” she asked, beginning to apply pressure and get him hooked up to a monitor.

“He was cut deep by some debris he didn’t dodge in time.”

Caitlin got to work with treating the Green Arrow. By the end of the evening she had treated him successfully. She headed out of the room where Barry was waiting.

“He should be fine. It looked a lot worse than it was. I'll keep him overnight for observation,” She smiled a little.

“Thank you, Caitlin.” He nodded.

* * *

“Good morning Mr. Queen, or Green Arrow. I don't know how to address you,” Caitlin admitted sheepishly when she saw Oliver start to come around. “You're safe and sound in S.T.A.R. Labs, The Flash brought you to me to ensure you got medical attention.”

“Did the Flash see my face?”

“No, and he won't. I take my profession very seriously. The privacy of my patients is my utmost priority. HIPAA and all that.” she glanced at his monitor and adjusted his morphine.

“I need to go.”

“No.”

“I wasn't asking.”

“Neither was I.” She stared him down. “You just had major surgery. I had to give you blood transfusions from the Flash because we were running out.”

“I need to leave.”

“Well, if you'd like to go out there and explain to Barry Allen why you're here?”

“Barry's here?” Oliver raised his eyebrows.

“Yes. He has physical therapy with us. He said I'm allowed to tell you that, though this is confusing. He said he didn't care what I said to Oliver Queen about his treatment but he hasn't talked about the Green Arrow in weeks.” She pondered that thought for a moment.

“Can't you get rid of him?”

“No, you’ll just have to wait it out and recover.”

* * *

Oliver managed to get a hold of someone to watch William until Caitlin discharged him several hours later. He went straight home after that.  
  
As Oliver headed to bed, clutching his injured side, he passed WIlliam’s room. He could hear soft sobs from the outside. He stopped. “William?” he gruffed.  
  
“I’m fine.”

“Can I come in?”

There was silence for a long moment, followed by a soft. “Okay.”  
  
Oliver slipped into the bedroom and closed the door behind him. William sat on the bed, wiping his eyes and tying to calm himself. Though Oliver could easily see the tremble of his son’s hands. He looked even smaller than he usually did, knees tucked into his chest. Tightly pressing himself into a tiny imaginary space.  
Oliver sat down beside him. “It’s okay.”

“I know, it was just-- It was--”

“Take your time.”

William swallowed and sniffed. “Bad dream.”

Oliver rested a hand on his shoulder and William crumpled like paper, pressing his face into Oliver’s chest. “You left me alone in the house with the bad men.”  
  
Oliver wrapped his arms around him tightly, holding him securely. “I’ve got you. I’m not going anywhere.” He pressed his lips to his forehead, one hand rubbing his back. “It’s okay.”

William had been doing better, but he still had bad nights. He was just a child. Sometimes it was too much. “I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?”

“I don’t know.”

“It’s okay.”

Oliver could feel William starting to relax after a while, slowly leaning on him more and more until his eyes fell closed. Oliver laid him down and pulled the blanket up over him. His lips pressed against his forehead before he moved to the armchair near the bed.

 

When morning rolled around, Oliver was still vigilant at William’s bedside. His archer eyes trained on his son’s even breathing. Watching carefully for any signs of distress. Eventually the sun rolled in through the window and highlighted William’s features. He looked like Oliver, but he definitely resembled his mother too. He could even see a bit of his mother in the boy’s face, when he looked this closely.  
  
“Dad?” William blinked as he took in the sight of Oliver studying him with an intensity he’d not yet seen.

“How are you feeling, kiddo?” Oliver rubbed his face and stood, stretching out a bit.  
  
“I’m okay.”

“Alright. You can go back to sleep if you want, or I can make breakfast.”

“Mr. Allen isn’t here?”

“Not today, kiddo.”

William nodded and rose to his feet. “Do you have to go to work?”

“No. We can do whatever we want.” Oliver headed downstairs to work on breakfast. Though now he was wondering what Barry was doing. Probably already at the crime lab, he decided. Digging through cases, helping people.

* * *

In the afternoon, on the other side of town, at the Thawne house Barry was trying to figure out how to tell Iris his secret. This wasn’t something he could just spring on her one night over dinner. He set a dinosaur shaped ham sandwich in front of E.J as he brainstormed.

He thought about how he had wanted to protect his family initially, but he also couldn’t keep going with this wall between them. Iris noticed. Of course she did. Iris could tell from the slightest reaction where or not he was telling the true. The same way she could with Wally. _Wally_ Barry sighed, he would have to tell Wally too.  
  
“We learned about colours today, but I already knew them! Mrs. Goldstein said I smart!” E.J. grinned broadly. “I drew you a picture yesterday!”

“Oh, you did? You can show me when you finish eating.”  
  
The toddler devoured his lunch, in a rush to show Barry what he had made. He rushed out of the room and returned to Barry with a piece of paper. Barry could make out the rough shape of a red stick figure on a stout dinosaur. “It’s the Flash on a triceratops!”  
  
Barry beamed at him. “That’s wonderful, buddy! Can I put it on the fridge?”  
  
E.J nodded and Barry hung up the drawing on the fridge. “How about we go get some ice cream later?”  
  
“Yeah!”

When Eddie brought Ester home from her doctor appointment he was quiet. Barry wasn’t sure if it had to do with the appointment or with their last fight. However he was willing to let Barry take the kids for ice cream. On the bus E.J was easily appeased with Barry’s tablet, while Esther was perfectly content to nap in Barry’s lap. Her tiny hands afixed to his shirt.

“What lovely babies. They’re like a little cherubs with those curls,” commented an older lady across from them on the bus. “How old are they?”

“He’s five, ma’am, and his sister is about almost three.” Barry smiled politely.  
  
“Oh, lovely. Well, this is my stop, you have a good day with daddy little ones.”

Barry kissed the top of Esther’s head. _You keep your secret to protect them._ Barry thought, not even bothering to correct the stranger as they left. He felt torn again.  
  
When he got off the bus he held Esther who was still sleepy and E.J followed Barry, holding his hand. He stopped in front of the ice cream shop. This was the _last_ thing he wanted. Down the way, he had met eyes with William who was dragging Oliver behind him.  
  
He waved to Barry excitedly and rushed forward to meet them. “Hi Esther!” he beamed at her. “Hi E.J! It’s good to see you Mr. Allen.”  
  
Barry smiled, honestly happy to see William. “It’s good to see you too, buddy. Where are you and your dad heading?”

“We’re getting ice cream.”  
  
_Great._ Barry glanced at Oliver who appeared cool as always. Oliver held the door for Barry without a word. “What kind of ice cream do you want, William?” Oliver asked.

“Chocolate chip cookie dough.”  
  
“Alright. Why don’t you take Esther and E.J and find a place for us to sit while I talk to Barry.”

Barry hesitated, but reluctantly handed Esther over to William. The kids went to sit at a booth in plain sight.  
  
“I take it William doesn’t know we’re not talking.” Barry crossed his arms.  
  
“He had a rough night. I didn’t talk to him about it yet.”

Barry hated this. Oliver was treating him like a stranger. Like the last few months had never happened. Like Oliver never sat at his bedside or got close to his family. It tugged at his heart. He hated it. “I would have helped you.”

“You made your choice, Barry.” he was so cold that it that it took Barry off guard. He felt like another person.  
  
“Fine.” he ordered ice cream for himself and the kids before making his way to the booth the kids had picked out. Barry bit the back of his lip. He had to tell Iris. He didn’t want to live with secrets anymore. He refused to live like Oliver, pushing everyone away who got too close.

They ate in mostly silence as William talked to E.J. and held Esther in his lap. Barry looked at William briefly. He _adored_ Esther. He really did, and that made this hurt more. Because Barry certainly wasn’t going to play this game. He wasn’t going to pretend he and Oliver were still friends whenever they ran into each other in public.

“I’m not doing this again.” said Barr when William got into the backseat of Oliver’s car.  
  
Oliver’s eyebrows pulled together. “I’m sorry?”  
  
“I can’t sit here while you treat me like a stranger, okay? So you need to talk to William about us not talking.”

“I will.”  
  
“Good. You know I--” he bit down on his lip. “Nevermind. It doesn’t matter now I guess, does it?”

“Guess not.”

 

When the kids were in bed for the night, Iris cornered Barry. “No more excuses, I want to know what’s going on. Eddie running a case late, sit down and talk to me. You need to tell me what’s going on.”

When Iris returned she had a bottle of red wine. She settled in on the sofa beside him with two glasses. “Here.”

Barry accepted one of the glasses, though he knew it wouldn’t do anything for him. She filled her own glass then his. “What has been going on with you?”

Barry opened his mouth to lie but then it spilled out. “What hasn’t been going on? Liam is in town and he’s insistent on meeting with me, Oliver is-- we’re having issues.”

“Okay, elaborate?”  
  
“Oliver’s mixed up in something. I don’t know what.” he finished his glass but the action was more habit than anything. “That night I came home in his clothes something happened.”  
  
“So?”  
  
“I couldn’t get through to him.” --Iris refilled his glass as he spoke. “He threw me out of his house because I got too close.”  
  
“But that’s not why you’re upset now?”  
  
“I ran into him today, and he treated me like a stranger. He treated me like we were strangers like … He acted like we were nothing . Like we had nothing, all while William doted on Esther like she was his little sister. I'm so mad. This is going to hurt him.”  
  
“I’m sorry, Barr.”  
  
Barry wiped his eyes. “He said he didn’t need me anymore . His sister told me this would happen. I’m so mad. I told him I would have to stop giving him chances but he’s just pushing me away because he’s scared of something.”  
  
“You can’t save everyone, Barr.”  
  
Barry and the Queens felt like branches from broken family trees that grafted together to form something more than just scattered pieces. He was even getting closer to Thea. Barry loved being a part Oliver’s controlled yet chaotic and fast paced life. He loved helping him take care of William. “I didn’t want to save him, Iris. I just wanted to--” he sighed and looked down at his hands.  
  
“You wanted to what?”

Barry didn't say anything.

“You have feelings for him?” Iris continued.  
  
“It's a whole lot deeper than that, and I can't even tell you the half of it. But there's something here and I ignored it, or I pretended to. Then I got too close to his secrets and he pushed me away. I don't want to be like that. I don’t want to push everyone away.”  
  
Iris placed one arm around his shoulders. “I'm sorry, Barr."  
  
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you-- It's just a mess and it hurts.” He pressed his sleeve into his eyes. “Look at me, crying over him like this. I’m frustrated. There's so much I want to tell you but I can't.”  
  
“You got hurt, Barry. You throw yourself headfirst into everything.” she squeezed his arm. “Sometimes it bites you in the ass.”  
  
“I'm sorry I kept you in the dark.”  
  
“It sounds like it was a bit of a mess.”  
  
“It was in some ways, but I was happy sometimes.” Barry found himself wanting it back though. He had something with Oliver that he hadn’t felt in a long time. Now though, he was questioning everything. He wasn’t sure how he would respond this time. He promised he wouldn’t give up on Oliver, but it felt like Oliver had given up on _him_. He had to figure out what he was going to do about the wall between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[Hey, I'm part of a really amazaning and huge discord server! The Flarrowverse Shipyard. We have age gated channels as well as an Olivarry shipping Channel. Feel free to check it out here [x.](https://discordbots.org/servers/473949999261155329) (:]]


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some family matters get addressed and one more meta is dealt with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[Warnings: guns/gunshot wounds, very brief discussions of homophobia.  
> Notes: Hey it's me back again with poorly written action scenes (I'll get them one day. I swear!) I'm also trying to do more detailed chapters but that's slow going. Hope you enjoy (:  
> Edit: After I uploaded this I realisd how pointless it was to give Clyde a gun but it's too late now. Wow I can't wait to finish this and start rewrites XD]]

Gentle sunlight poured through the kitchen window, partially blocked by Oliver’s large form as he set down a plate of pancakes for his son. Thea and Roy were in Starling, this time helping Diggle with a few things.

“Hey, dad?” William had just taken his seat at the table, running his hand over his face tiredly.

“What's up, kiddo?”  
  
“Why doesn't Mr Allen come over anymore?” He pushed his pancakes around on his plate for a second before eating a small piece.  
  
“Uh,” Oliver rubbed the back of his neck. “Mr Allen is kind of upset with me.” he half lied. “He’s not going to come by for a while.”  
  
“Why?” William pressed, he was tired of his dad avoiding the subject.  
  
“I uh-- wasn't nice to him,” figuring he could let William blame him for Barry's absence. It wasn’t exactly like he could sit down and tell William what happened between them.  
  
“Was it because he told me he's gay?” William’s brow furrowed with obvious concern.  
  
“No? I didn't know he told you that.”nWilliam's silence urged Oliver on. “I would never be mean to someone because they're gay,” Oliver moved over to the counter and placed his folded arms on it. “Okay? So don't worry about that.”  
  
“I like talking to Mr. Allen about things. When are you going to make up? He’s my best friend.” that tugged at Oliver a bit. Had William really not been branching out at school at all?  
  
Oliver heaved a sigh and folded his hands together as he tried to decide what to say to William. “Sometimes adult life is complicated. I know you know that so let's just-- leave this alone.”  
  
“Is he going to come back?” William had gotten attached to Barry. It was no surprise but it was hitting Oliver harder now. He took that from William, but he wasn’t sure how to fix that now. Not with everything stacking up against him.  
  
“I don’t know,” Oliver nodded, smiling a little.

“Did you know that Mr. Allen is gay?” The question was so quiet that Oliver almost didn’t hear.

Oliver pulled up a chair, sitting on it backwards to face William. “William, I don't care that Mr. Allen is gay. Why are you hung up on that?”

“Because I like Mr Allen, I don't want him to leave because you don't like him,” William looked down at the book in his hands. The one on carnivorous plants but Oliver could tell he was upset. “He said sometimes people are mean to him because he’s gay.”

“William, Mr. Allen was my friend. Who he likes, or what he told you, has _nothing_ to do with why we’re not talking. We’re not talking because your dad is an idiot.” He patted William on the shoulder. “You should go get dressed for school.”

While William was at school, Oliver was at the office. Trying to focus on the task at hand. He was considering cutting ties with their sister company in Moscow, he certainly didn’t need it. Though it would have given him cover if he needed to return to Russia for anything.  
  
He tried not to let his mind drift to Barry. He pictured him sitting at his desk, he looked peaceful when he worked. Oliver liked it. He rubbed his face and his eyes fell on his phone. His methods had hurt William and that was enough to make him question it. He had told himself that he would be better than his parents. Though he doubted Barry would talk to him, and whether or not Oliver was willing to admit he was wrong was also part of the equation.

He picked up the phone and put it in his desk. He had more self control than that. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Trying to figure out his next course of action with the company. When lunch time came around, he actually glanced at the door, half hoping to see Barry’s bright grin. But he didn’t.

* * *

On Tuesday afternoon, Barry was getting ready to meet Liam for coffee. He had given Liam a fifteen minute time slot to say whatever was so important for him to say. However, he was struggling to pick what to wear. When he glanced up, little Esther was watching him. He crossed the room and knelt down. “Hey, squirt, what’s up? Want to help me pick a shirt? I’m going to see a big doodoo-head so I have to look great.”  
  
The toddler reached up her arms, indicating she wanted Barry to pick her up. He complied with a sigh, holding her on his side. She kissed his cheek. “Kisses today? Thank you so much, sweetheart.” he smiled and laid out a pair of pants to come back to in a bit. “There we go. “Did you need something sweetie?” 

“Daddy’s not home.” She her lower lip jutted out slightly. Eddie was usually off today and got to spend the day with the kids.

He blinked. “Oh, really? Where’s daddy?” he was surprised to get those words from her. They were usually lucky to get very small sentences. So they always encouraged her when she _did_ talk.

“Work! He has to get the bad man. Marton!” She said, grinning. She was still a bit young to understand the weight of her father’s job. Which they were sort of grateful for.  
  
“Sweetie, did he say Mar _d_ on?”

She nodded. “Marton!”  
  
“Iris?” Barry was already moving out of the room. He rushed the stairs. His heartbeat picking up in his ears. Esther secured on his side. “Iris?”  
  
He found her in the kitchen and his worried expression put her on high alert. “What’s wrong?” she was making lunch for Esther. She stopped and headed over, taking Esther from him. Esther was a little heavy but she didn’t let it show. Any other time she would have wondered how Barry could still lug her and her brother around with no strain.  
  
Barry's breathing was a bit hard from the exertion not aided by the speed force. “Did Eddie say where he was going?”

“Eddie’s fine, he went after the bank robber who killed Chyre.” Iris wasn't worried about her husband's ability to take on such a seemingly minor criminal.  
  
“He’s not just a bank robber, Iris.” Barry met her eyes, hoping she would take him seriously enough to give him the information he needed.

“What do you know about Mardon?” Iris's eyebrows pulled together as she moved to set Esther in her high chair and give her the slices of apple she was preparing moments before.  
  
“He’s not human, not anymore. Eddie is in danger, please.” She wasn't talking him seriously and that frustrated him.  
  
“What are you going to do?” Iris demanded. “You’re a _CSI_.”

Barry ran a hand over his hair. He wished he had more time. He didn't want it to be like this. “The particle accelerator changed people. Mostly bad people. It changed me too, but I’ve been trying to help and figure out how to tell you. I just-- I didn't want it to be like this but Iris, please. I need to know where Eddie went. I know he told you-”  
  
It took a moment but it clicked. “You’re _him_? The Flash.”

“Yes.”

“Mardon is like you?”

“No, Mardon is … he’s different from me but he controls the weather.”  
  
“Go. They're at that barn you tracked down before.”  
  
Iris covered Esther’s eyes and Barry disappeared, leaving a whirlwind. The city nearly vanished around him as he ran.

Now clad on his red suit, he came to a screeching hault beside Eddie. “Eddie, I need you to trust me and go home.”

“You’re the streak guy my wife writes about.” Eddie's eyes narrowed. "Are you working with Mardon? I knew I didn't trust you."  
  
“Eddie, look at me.” He stared Eddie in the face. “Please let me handle this.”

Eddie mouthed Barry’s name, even more confused than before but hung back slightly. The next series of events happened so fast that Eddie was having trouble processing them. There was a flash of lightning and a whirlwind of storms.

He rushed in behind Barry, a lighting bolt narrowly missing him to is left, he jumped to on side. He kept his gun drawn. A piece of debris cut open his cheek, it stung as he pressed on further. The next thing he registered was Clyde with a gun pointed at Barry. Eddie fired shots, and Clyde fell to the ground. Barry looked confused then glanced back to see Eddie. “I told you to go.”

  
Clyde groaned on the ground. Still alive but down for the count. Only evidence of life were his soft groans resonating from deep in his chest.  
  
“Caitlin, you’ve got an incoming GSW.” Barry spoke into his comms. After he rushed him to Caitlin he returned to Eddie.  
  
“I guess that Physical therapy really worked for you.” Eddie joked, breathing hard from the adrenaline. He’d hoped that was funny. There wasn’t exactly a handbook for this kind of thing: Learning your brother in-law was a superhero.  
  
Barry winked and disappeared with Clyde. He ended up with Clyde secure in a power dampened room as Caitlin worked on him. Barry couldn’t leave him to bleed out on the ground, even if he was a criminal.

Clyde died on the table. There was nothing to do. Barry cursed under his breath. He knew Clyde had no qualms about killing, but Barry wasn’t the same. He returned his body to where he fell so the police investigation could go as normal. It wasn't as if medical evidence had been left behind, he was dead before Caitlin could even begin her work.

Eddie suddenly pressed a question. As he'd been left alone with his thoughts. “Does Joe know?” obviously he would need to know who was in the loop, and who wasn’t.  
  
“No, but Iris found out just before I left. The Green Arrow and I have run into the Mardon brothers before.”

Eddie’s eyebrows pulled together. “Both of them are back?”

“Yeah, we know for sure that they have powers too.”  
  
“You accomplished your dream of meeting the Green Arrow, huh? What’s that like? Is he as handsome as you made him out to be?”  
  
Barry glowered from under the crimson cowl. “Don’t meet your heroes. Also, hey, I never said he was good-looking.”  
  
Eddie pulled a voice. “Iris, his suit is _leather_ . You can see all the muscles in his arms.”  
  
“First of all I _don’t_ sound like that--” Barry cut himself off when he saw Joe.

“Eddie, you alright?” Joe clapped him on the shoulder. In the same moment he nodded to the Flash who was now vibrating his face. “Flash.”

“Detective West.” _Flash_ nodded towards him. “Detective Thawne saved my life. You’ve got one great son-in-law.”

Joe squinted at him. “How did you know he’s my son-in-law?”

Flash choked up, momentarily but collected himself easily. “I know everyone at CCPD.”  
  
“Of course you do.” Joe sighed. “Great work, Eddie.”  
  
When Joe left Barry stopped vibrating his face. “We should talk, I’m sorry about the board.”

“I was being unreasonable.”

“A little, but I understand now, and I should have been listening to what you were trying to say.” Barry shrugged. He had been so caught up in everything happening to him that he had forgotten that his family spent nine months without him.  
  
They shook hands and Eddie pulled him into a hug. “I look forward to working with you, _Flash_.”

“The feeling is mutual, Detective Thawne.” he gave Eddie a two fingered faux salute, punctuated by a soft chuckle. Honestly glad this reveal had gone well. Eddie was probably better at understanding the secrecy that came along with his work than anyone else.  
  
Moments later, a news camera was in Barry’s face. “Flash! What can you tell us about what happened here today?” He was glad that he managed to keep up concealing his identity.  
  
“What happened-- er-- Well,” Flas stumbled over his words for a second. “Detective Thawne here was the hero this time. You can get the story from him. I gotta run.” No one had to see Flash’s fact to know he was cartoonishly winking from under the mask.

Barry disappeared into the city. He found his way to S.T.A.R. Labs with muscle memory. “Cait, are you okay?”

Caitlin sat at her desk, sorting a few papers. “I’m fine.”

Barry reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder. He could tell she was locking up. “I hope you know it wasn’t your fault. There was nothing to be done, I should have realised that before I brought him here.”

“I know, it’s just always hard when someone dies on your table. I’ve never had that happen before.” She wiped her eyes before they could start to water. Barry decided it would be best if he gave Caitlin some space with Cisco. Iris was most likely wondering where he was. So he had to go.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bary and Oliver are still in a tough spot. Flash and Green Arrow aren't seeing eye to eye. Barry decides to focous on his day life to distract himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[Warnings: Some manipulation (mixed signals, I guess?)  
> Notes: I'm so glad people liked Oliver admiting he's an idiot. Esp because that was origionally a joke line from a sprint that I forgot to delete. XD Thanks for all the love and I really appriciate that y'all keep coming back to this fic eventhough I'm still trying to improve and find a writing style. This chapter is a little bit jumpy but the next one will be more uniform I swear. Haha]]

When Barry returned home after the events of the day, he saw the family white board in the trash. He frowned. He picked it up from the ground and carried it inside. He had completely forgotten his agreement to meet up with Liam. When he made it inside the house, he went straight to the kitchen to put the board back into place. He took the marker that was still on the fridge and wrote: _Barry was a jerk this week._   
  
“Well, that's accurate.” Iris spoke up from her spot at the kitchen table. “but thank you for being honest. For once. Do I get at least a half assed excuse for this? Mostly the Flash lies.”

Barry shrugged his shoulders. “The kids.” He spoke as if it was obvious. “I convinced myself that by keeping you in the dark-- it would somehow keep you and the kids safe, but then things happened and I don’t want walls between us.”

“What happened?” Iris cocked her head to the side. A mix of clear concern with underlying curiosity.

Barry rubbed the back of his neck. “Just that stuff with that guy and I don’t know, if something ever happened and you didn’t know--”

Iris sighed and hugged him. “Thank you.”  
  
Barry hugged her tight against his chest and found himself tearing up. “I love you, Iris. You’re the best sister I could ever ask for.”   
  
Iris reached up and held the back of his head. “You better not think you’re off the hook because you started crying.” her tone was teasing.   
  
Barry laughed and sniffed. “Of course not. I just-- pictured this going a lot worse.” he admitted, relieved he got through this without yelling. He knew he had a long way to go to make up for it though. After all, he was living with them.

* * *

Barry never called Liam back or even texted him. He’d completely forgotten about the situation in the mayhem. The next week or so went off without a hitch. He’d been distracted enough from Oliver though, until Iris came through with a pile of clothes. “These are yours.” said Iris, dropping them on the coffee table.  
  
“Oh, sorry. Thank you. Were they in the way?” Barry perked up. Before Iris could blink, the pile was put away in his room. All she caught was a breeze. It was like he hadn’t moved.

She didn’t even blink, it had taken a few days but she quickly got used to her brother’s powers. “No I was anxious today and did all the clothes in the laundry room- who’s is this? None of the kids are this big!” she held up a medium sized jacket with the Flash logo on the back.  
  
Barry sighed. _William_ . He’d done a good job avoiding thinking about them. “That’s William's.” the way Barry said it, made Iris realise her suspicions. Oliver was the mystery man. Though there weren’t many other options, it hadn’t occurred to Iris straight away. There had been too much going on.   
  
“I can bring it by or something. So you don't have to see Oliver after everything." Iris spoke softly, but the mention of Oliver made him jump.

"Things are fine with Ollie." The nickname tasted a bit bitter in his mouth, given the situation.

Iris sighed and placed one hand on her hip. "Barr, I say this with love: You have four friends. I've known you meant Oliver for a while. You don't have to pretend with me."

Barry grabbed the jacket. “I’m a grown man, I can bring a kid his jacket, Iris.” he smiled a little. He didn't want to hide from Oliver: Have their things passed back between friends like a bad breakup-- it wasn't a break up. There was nothing to break up. Or at least, that's what Barry told himself.

* * *

When Barry arrived at Queen Co's Central City Branch, Oliver’s receptionist was so pleased to see him that she sent him right up. She said he was having a lot of friendly visits that day so he should just go up. He got into the elevator and made his way up to Oliver’s floor.  
  
He considered retreating. He still had time. He hadn't even knocked. He could just turn around and leave the jacket with the receptionist. Instead, he swallowed and knocked on the door, the hoodie still carefully folded in his left arm.

"Come in."

Oliver's voice affected him more than he thought it would. He pressed in despite the fluttering in his chest. He sighed and opened the door. There stood _Felicity_ ? Barry stared at her. Felicity Smoak. Arrow’s Tech support. A woman he had met both in and out of suit. (Though only briefly in suit.) His mouth was suddenly dry.   
  
“Barry Allen.” Felicity said, surprised. "Weird … to see you here!" the look on her face made Barry hesitant. He didn’t want to think about Oliver drama today, he just wanted to return William’s jacket.   
  
“Felicity.” Barry smiled weakly but got a sick feeling in his stomach. The Arrow's Felicity was in Oliver Queen's office. This didn't help his suspicions.

Oliver was staring at Barry. He made no effort to hide this. “Barry, uh--” he cleared his throat. “Is there something I can help you with? My friend from the original Queen Co was just coming to see me to announce her engagement.”

Barry turned to see the other man in the room. He did a double take. He would recognise that wiry frame anywhere. _Liam_ . Barry blinked a few times. He couldn’t recall Liam being interested in women. Though it wasn’t exactly his business. In addition to this fact, it had been years since he’d seen him last, after all.   
  
“Name’s Liam,” he extended a hand to Barry as if they’d never met before.

Barry blinked again and shook his head. “Barry Allen.” his eyes narrowing. It was clear he knew everyone in the room. It was certainly a risk for him to pretend they didn't know each other.

He draped an arm around Felicity. “How do you two know each other?”  
  
“Barry and I both have an affinity for thee Green Arrow.” Felicity addressed their connection rather dismissively, leaving Barry to believe that Liam had no idea of the extent of her involvement with the Green Arrow.

Liam rolled his eyes. “Oh, _that guy_.” Jealousy. Barry remembered that well from when they were together.

Barry forced a smile, but he was confused, so it was a bit forced. Felicity headed out with Liam, insisting they should get coffee. Barry took a breath when they were gone. He hadn’t realise the weight coming to visit Oliver would be.

Oliver broke the silence. "I've been thinking about you." his tone was guarded, but there was _something_ there. Like he was trying to not rile up a rabid dog. "William has been asking about you--"

He was cut off by Barry extending the sweatshirt towards him. "This is William's. It was at the house."

"You're still cold, I get it." Oliver took the sweatshirt and carefully laid it on his desk. "I can't blame you. I may have … overreacted before, but I meant what I said." As Oliver spoke, Barry turned to leave, but Oliver got his attention. "Barry?"

"What?" Barry almost sounded frustrated. He didn’t come here to hear Oliver make excuses, or whatever he was trying to do Barry wasn’t quite sure.

"Thank you." Oliver stiffed his hands into his pockets.

Barry rolled his eyes. "It's a jacket. I refuse to treat this situation like a bad breakup. So just--"

"Barry," Oliver began and cleared his throat. "Thank you for everything."

He closed his eyes tightly, trying to collect himself. He didn't want to hear this. _Exactly what is his angle here?_ Barry came up blank. He couldn't decipher his intentions. "I'm not here for you. I came here to bring you William's jacket, because like I said, I refuse to treat this like some high school breakup where I shove stuff in a box and give it to my sister to give to you."

Oliver nodded slowly. "I completely understand." Barry was surprised by this, but he didn't stirr up anything else.

"I know this is forward, but I've always been honest with you-- I think that's part of why we--" he sighed, unwilling to finish that thought. "I really hope you deal with this. Secrets don't protect anyone, I had to learn this the hard way. If you keep cutting people off who get too close, that's not just isolating yourself, William is going to learn from that." He knew from experience. He knew first hand that both postive and negative traits were picked up from parents. He could easily see it in the Wests. In Hannah, even with certain things. He didn’t want to see William grow up to be cold and detached because all he saw was his dad shoving away everyone who got too close.

Barry left the office before Oliver could respond. Leaving him alone with his thoughts. Oliver knew Barry was right, but he didn’t feel he had a choice. He stared at his desk, trying to figure out where to go from here. What his next course of action was.

* * *

 

The Flash's next meet up with the Green Arrow wasn't exactly business as usual. The Emerald archer was a bit nosy. Flash didn't like it. He had wanted to get the mission over and done with without an interrogation. This feeling of unease was exacerbated by the fact that he wasn’t sure how long he could keep pretending that it wasn’t getting harder and harder to deny Oliver’s involvement with the Green Arrow-- or worse that he _was_ the Green Arrow.

"Listen, Flash. I'm only asking because your head isn't in the mission." The arrow leaned up on a doorway of the hideout, watching the Flash carefully. He was trying to get to the bottom of what was distracting him, so they could toss it out of his head.

Flash went back to typing away at the keyboard. Felicity was busy with wedding plans so she couldn't help them with this. "It's nothing you would understand."

"Maybe I won't, but it's distracting you."

"I'm having-- interpersonal issues." Flash allowed, glaring at the Green Arrow. Not that anyone could tell with how he was vibrating his face.

"Then get over them." The voice was cold and gruff.

"Wow, thanks. I'm over it." Sarcasm saturated his pitched voice. "I've got a location."

"Whatever." his voice seemed softer now, something that surprised Barry. "Lets move, then."

They were moving moments later. The villain they were after was minor. She didn't have much of a criminal history but she had attached herself to The Green Arrow and needed to be dealt with.

* * *

Barry decided it was best to pull back from the Arrow. Maybe from the Flash a little too, crime had been way down, and no new metas had reared their heads. So maybe he could take a break, or at least, as much of a break he would allow himself. When Barry returned home he found E.J. kneeling at the coffee table, hunched over it as he scribbled pictures of a man in red.

A small smile formed on Barry's lips as he made his way over to him. He sat down on the floor. "Hey buddy, what are you working on?"

"The Flash!" E.J. grinned widely and eagerly pushed the paper towards Barry.

"Oh, wow!" he looked at the crayon picture that looked to be the red figure with a T-Rex. "That's fantastic, buddy." he encouraged enthusiastically. "What kind of dinosaur is that?"

"That's a T-Rex! You know that, Barry." E.J  seemed frustrated.

Barry laughed softly. "Well, you're the dinosaur expert, not me." he wrapped arm around E.J's little shoulders “I also heard that a little dinosaur lover is going to turn seven soon.”

“It’s me!” E.J. grinned. “You know that too!”  
  
Barry pulled a book out of his messenger bag. It was extremely tall and a fairly thick spine. A child as small as E.J. may have had trouble lifting it on their own. “I saw this and thought it would be the perfect early birthday present.”   
  
E.J. read the title. “The Big Book of Dazzling Dinosaurs.” he grinned up at his uncle. “Thank you, Barry! I love it so much!”   
  
“Happy birthday, you’re welcome, can I have a hug?” he opened his arms to him and E.J. leaned over, hugging Barry around the middle with as much pressure as his little arms could manage. Barry pressed a soft kiss to his hairline. 

E.J. rose to his feet and lifted the book, it barely fit in his arms. “Can I go show my mom?” he asked hopefully. “ _Pleeaassseee_?”

“Of course, buddy.” Barry chuckled softly. “Where is she, I’ll help you.” he stood as well and walked with him, allowing his nephew to lead the way. The stairs proved to be a challenge with the book but Barry shadowed him. They made it up the stairs almost as a team.  
  
They found Iris in Esther’s room, working on more sign language flash cards. As she got older she would need more signs than the original baby basics she was taught. When Esther saw Barry, however, she no longer cared about flash cards. Instead she just began signing ‘up’ over and over again.   
  
Barry laughed softly and picked her up. “Okay, Esther, _oof_ .” she was truthfully getting a bit heavy, but she was getting older so that was to be expected. “We can hang out for a little bit I guess.”   
  
“It’s a party in here. What brings you two up?” Iris asked, putting the flash cards back into their box. She watched E.J, certain he was the one who dragged Barry upstairs.

“Mom! Uncle Barry got me this big Dinosaur book! It’s the size of Esther!” He was so excited to share the book with his mom, and Barry was pleased that he enjoyed it.  
  
“Oh, really?” Iris patted patted a spot on the bed beside her and E.j. took a seat, opening the book to show Iris. “Wow, that is so cool.” she feigned interest easily.   
  
Barry was idly chatting with Esther, responding to her signs or small sentences with an obvious enthusiasm. “How about,” he started. “I take Esther to see her cousin?”

“Sure,” Iris shrugged. “Are you and Wally going to talk?”

Barry nodded once, unable to say more. “Yeah, also. E.J., Hannah got a bunch of Dragonflies, did you know that they lived at the same time as dinosaurs?”  
  
E.J. gaped at him. “Woah! Really? They’re so little though! How did they not get squished?” he seemed interested in this random factoid.   
  
“They’ve existed for four hundred million years.”   
  
“Wow, that’s like as old as grandma.” E.J sounded surprised.   
  
Iris laughed softly. “Okay, so, Eddie is older than my dad, but Eddie’s mom is millions of years old? That really explains a lot.”

“Better ask Eddie how long he’s been thirty.” Barry laughed softly and lifted up Esther a little better. “I’ll have this one back before it gets too late. I hope you have fun with the dinosaur book.” with that he headed out.


End file.
